Preparing for My Future Roles of Husband and Father

By Christopher Bingham

The author lives in Utah, USA.

As a single adult, I am intentionally living today to strengthen my future family.

During my early teenage years, I attended a youth leadership training camp. Throughout the week, one of my Young Men leaders, Bryan Thelin, found multiple notes written by his wife, Julie, that she had hidden away in his belongings. He shared some of those tender and faith-promoting notes with us. I was impressed and could sense the love that his wife’s simple and caring act fostered in their marriage. Although Bryan and Julie were not physically together during that week, their marriage was being strengthened.

Later as a missionary in Argentina, I observed a married couple in one of my areas who were filled with the love of Christ. Every time I saw the two of them together, they radiated goodness. I could sense how much they cared not only for each other but also for seemingly everyone they met. I felt their sincerity toward me each time we talked. I wanted to spend more time in their presence because of the love of Christ that exuded from them.

Examples like these two couples have blessed my life. They have helped me see how I can strengthen my own future marriage and family.

A Record of Impressions from the Spirit

I have looked forward with anticipation to the day when I can build a strong marriage. However, I have noticed that as a single adult, I don’t need to wait until I am married to look for and learn ways to help prepare for my future roles as husband and father.

“You can learn vitally important things by what you hear and see and, especially, by what you feel, as prompted by the Holy Ghost,” taught Elder Richard G. Scott (1928–2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

He continued: “Write down in a secure place the important things you learn from the Spirit. You will find that as you write down precious impressions, often more will come.”¹

Impressions to help strengthen my family have come to me at different times. Sometimes I have felt these impressions as I have witnessed good examples in my life. Other times I have felt an impression while listening to a talk or studying the scriptures. We can each receive impressions in many different ways.

When I receive an impression or hear an idea about something I can do, I record it in a notebook. For example, I have one notebook that I fill with ideas to help strengthen the faith of children, and I have another notebook with ideas to help strengthen my marriage. I like to create these notebooks as online documents so that I can access them from my phone anytime and anywhere, but this practice could also be done with physical notebooks. These collections of ideas have become a blessing to me as I have tried to prepare for these future roles.

Examples of Notebooks

President Jean B. Bingham, Relief Society General President, shared that “a parent’s most important role is to help their children to connect with heaven, to develop the gospel-based value system that will help anchor them through the challenges in their life.”² So, in one of my notebooks, I record ideas to help anchor my future children to a bedrock of faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Some of these ideas also include traditions I want to create to help us deepen testimonies. This notebook includes ideas like these:

Spend five minutes each day with your children to help them write down blessings from Heavenly Father that they are grateful for. This activity could be combined with family scripture study.
If you ask your toddler who the prophet is and they are unsure, hang pictures of the prophet from the Friend magazine at eye level around the room.
Hold a regular temple trip to do baptisms for the dead once your children are old enough; have an open invite for neighbors and friends to join if distance allows. A nice tradition to experience together over the Christmas holidays could be to find family names together and take them to the temple.
If you have a child preparing to serve a mission, ask them to write personal letters of testimony to their siblings just before they begin their mission.
For birthdays, have family members and guests write down qualities they admire about or an experience they have had with the birthday person. After reading the memories together and with the permission of those involved, upload a copy of the papers to the Memories section of the person’s Family Tree record at FamilySearch.org for later access or when they need a pick-me-up.

There are countless ideas, and as you seek heavenly guidance, you will be prompted to know what to record as you prepare for your future family.

Another notebook example is to record ideas for creating an environment where the Spirit is present. Helping children learn to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost is vitally important. President Russell M. Nelson taught: “As turmoil rages around us, we need to create places where we are safe, both physically and spiritually. When your home becomes a personal sanctuary of faith—where the Spirit resides—your home becomes the first line of defense.”³

Think about the gospel environment you want to cultivate. We can each intentionally focus on building a home where the Spirit is present. I do not need to be married to start creating this type of environment. It is a remarkable opportunity to build a home that invites the Spirit. We can each use our agency to foster a gospel-centered environment. We can record ideas to create this environment, and we can act on them today.

Be Ready to Receive Inspiration and Then Act

When Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon received the vision of the three degrees of glory, they were commanded three times to write “while [they] were yet in the Spirit” (Doctrine and Covenants 76:28, 80, 113). Recording spiritual impressions in this manner has blessed my life. Writing impressions down right when we receive them helps preserve the clarity of the message. It also preserves the message for future sharing with others. When we write down these impressions, we witness to Heavenly Father that we care about the impressions we have received and that we are willing to receive more. This is strengthened as we act on impressions that are possible to carry out now.

These intentional actions today are helping to strengthen my future family. I have been blessed by compiling impressions of ways that I might better prepare to strengthen my future marriage and strengthen the faith of my future children. I invite you to consider ways that you can prepare for your role as a spouse and parent. As we do so, I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will guide us in our righteous endeavors.