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Faith in the Savior, Not Faith in the Miracle
If having a baby wasn’t the Lord’s will for us, what difference would our faith really make?
I’ve always known that God is a God of miracles. But I wasn’t always sure about what that knowledge meant for me.
For the past two years, my husband and I have been fasting and praying for a baby, but our prayers haven’t been answered (at least not how we’ve hoped they would).
And frankly, for a while we were a little confused about how to have faith in a miracle that wasn’t coming. How could we really have faith we’d get pregnant if miracles come according to the Lord’s will? If it wasn’t His will, then what difference would our faith really make?
I didn’t realize I was understanding faith and miracles all wrong.
Focusing on Christ
As I struggled to understand what faith really meant in my situation, I was preparing for our last round of a fertility treatment. Three rounds had already failed, and my doctor didn’t recommend attempting more than four. I didn’t have much hope that this time would be different.
That night, I laid in bed pondering miracles. As I did, I internalized something important: I wasn’t supposed to have faith in a miracle itself. I was supposed to have faith in Jesus Christ. And I did (and still do) have faith in Him.
The next day I listened to the Primary song, “The Miracle.” The chorus says:
“Jesus is a God of miracles;
Nothing is at all impossible to Him,
But I know this:
Of all His miracles, the most incredible must be
The miracle that rescues me.”1
I suddenly felt like the answers to my questions were coming to my mind:
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First, I had already learned that I needed to focus my faith on Christ, not the miracle I was seeking. I believed in Him and knew that Heavenly Father and the Savior had the power to answer our prayers.
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Second, our faith in the Savior does make a difference. President Russell M. Nelson said: “The mountains in our lives do not always move how or when we would like. But our faith will always propel us forward. Faith always increases our access to godly power.”2
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Third, I felt strongly that if having a baby as soon as we wanted wasn’t the Lord’s will, we would be blessed with other miracles, like peace, spiritual guidance, and joy.
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And finally, I realized that the most important miracle in my life had already happened—the Savior suffered and died for me. He took upon Himself my sorrows, weaknesses, sicknesses, and even all my complicated emotions surrounding infertility. He is the ultimate miracle that makes everything else OK. And as President Nelson said, “The Savior is never closer to you than when you are facing or climbing a mountain with faith.”3
A few days later, we fasted along with our extended family members. For the first time in a while, I felt like fasting in faith made sense. I had faith in the Savior and knew that whatever His will, we could get through it with His help.
We went forward with the treatment, and, amazingly, we soon found out we were pregnant. We were so excited. I felt with my whole heart that God truly is a God of miracles!
A few days later, we learned we were going to lose the baby. All our joy was suddenly replaced with sadness. But because of the experiences I’d had learning about miracles, I felt a sense of peace. I knew that through the Savior’s Atonement we would get through this—I had felt that strongly just a few days before. And the fact that we could get pregnant gave us guidance in the coming months.
Moving Mountains One Miracle at a Time
Almost a year has gone by since losing that baby, and I’m still not pregnant. But now I’ve been able to look back and see the many small miracles we’ve had along this journey—and there’ve been too many to count.
Most recently, my husband and I fasted with a desire to know and act on the Lord’s will about our next steps. The very next day, I found out my insurance had recently began covering a fertility treatment we were unsure about. We aren’t always great at recognizing answers, but we felt that Heavenly Father had given us clear guidance. We decided we’d better act on it and got started right away.
We are hopeful that this treatment will help me get pregnant soon, but we are doing our best to focus our faith on the Savior. As President Nelson said, “[The Savior] paid the compensatory price and provided the power for you to move every mountain you will ever face.”4 Sometimes it feels like we are moving our mountain one shovelful at a time, but we are starting to see how those shovelfuls are adding up to something wonderful. Faith in Him is helping us move our mountain of infertility, whether that means I get pregnant soon or we continue to dig for a while.
If you’re waiting for a miracle, as so many of us are, know that your faith does make a difference. Pray to see all the small miracles you are receiving. Know that Heavenly Father will continue to bless you with many miracles while you are waiting on Him. And trust that the greatest miracle of all—the Savior’s infinite Atonement—has already been given. This miracle makes every other miracle possible and every moment of waiting for miracles OK.