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Uncles and Aunts—an Important Strength for the Family
Aunts and uncles have an important role to play in strengthening the rising generation.
Although I don’t have children of my own, I’ve long known that I am still a mother.1 In fact, discovering how to mother (as a verb) without my own children has proven to be a very rewarding path that has brought me closer to Heavenly Father, His work, my family, and a broader understanding of my divine identity.
I have sought, as I’m sure you have, to help strengthen children and youth in my Primary and Young Women classes and others in my ward. I have found joy in bringing smiles, hope, and sometimes comfort to children I pass in my community. I have searched for ways to teach children life skills and also a knowledge of the Savior, His gospel, and His goodness. I have found ways to be an advocate for the family and defend it as “central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”2 I have looked for opportunities to help children feel and recognize the Holy Ghost in their lives. I have tried to help them understand how special they are as children of God.
Perhaps the most meaningful efforts in my mothering have been in my own extended family in my role as an aunt. It is truly one of my life’s greatest joys and blessings!
Over the years, I’ve come to understand even more about how much aunts and uncles can be a strength to families, whether their own or others. The following teachings from prophets, apostles, and other Church leaders can help aunts and uncles—including those mothers and fathers without children of their own—understand how vital their roles are in strengthening the rising generation.
Rescuers along the Way
“Foreseeing the needs of His children, a loving Heavenly Father placed directions and rescuers along their way. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to make safe passage possible and visible. He called … His prophet[s] in these times. …
“Heavenly Father has assigned us to a great variety of stations to strengthen and, when needed, to lead travelers to safety. Our most important and powerful assignments are in the family. They are important because the family has the opportunity at the start of a child’s life to put feet firmly on the path home. Parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles are made more powerful guides and rescuers by the bonds of love that are the very nature of a family.”
President Henry B. Eyring, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, “Help Them on Their Way Home,” Liahona, Apr. 2010, 22–23.
Desperately Needed Extended Family
“In today’s world, where Satan’s aggression against the family is so prevalent, parents must do all they can to fortify and defend their families. But their efforts may not be enough. Our most basic institution of family desperately needs help and support from the extended family and the public institutions that surround us. Brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins can make a powerful difference in the lives of children. Remember that the expression of love and encouragement from an extended family member will often provide the right influence and help a child at a critical time.
“The Church itself will continue to be the first and foremost institution—the ‘scaffolding,’ as it were—to help build strong families. I can assure you that those who lead the Church have great concern about the well-being of your families, and thus you will see increasing efforts to prioritize and to focus on family needs. But as your leaders, we call upon members of the Church everywhere to put family first and to identify specific ways to strengthen their individual families.”
President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “What Matters Most Is What Lasts Longest,” Liahona, Nov. 2005, 43.
A Powerful Example of Your Good Life
“My dear grandfathers, fathers, uncles, brothers, and friends of our young people, we can be of great help in [their process of reaching their true potential]. King Benjamin taught that when parents are truly converted, they ‘will teach [their children] to walk in the ways of truth and soberness [and] will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another’ (Mosiah 4:15). It has been said, ‘Teaching by example is one way to teach.’ I would say, ‘Teaching by example is the best way to teach.’
“Please teach our young people by your example of being a temple-worthy priesthood holder. Your good life, your love for God and fellow men, your applied testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ will be a convincing power to our youth, and it will help them to see the end from the beginning.”
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “See the End from the Beginning,” Liahona, May 2006, 45. Note: This address was given during a priesthood session of general conference.
Shared Spiritual Experiences
“Be diligent parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends who strengthen loved ones with personal testimony and who share spiritual experiences.”
Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Lest Thou Forget,” Liahona, Nov. 2016, 115.
A Sense That We Belong Together Eternally
“Analysts of our modern time point out that in a fast-changing world, people suffer a kind of shock from losing a sense of continuity. The very mobility of much of our modern society means that our children are often moved from place to place and lose close contact with the extended family of grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and longtime neighbors. It is important for us also to cultivate in our own family a sense that we belong together eternally, that whatever changes outside our home, there are fundamental aspects of our relationship which will never change. We ought to encourage our children to know their relatives. We need to talk of them, make effort to correspond with them, visit them, join family organizations, etc.”
President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985), “Ocean Currents and Family Influences,” Ensign, Nov. 1974, 112.
The Best Answer to Human Problems
“Some say families can’t do the job because so many people just do not have families. It is true that a great many do not have a functioning family. Or it is said that too many families fail. Unfortunately, that is also true. However, with all its shortcomings, the family is far and away the greatest social unit, the best answer to human problems, in the history of mankind. Rather than further weaken family ties, they need to be strengthened. … I would urge overburdened parents to accept every help. Cannot grandparents, brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends also reinforce by example and precept their love and concern for members of the extended family?”
President James E. Faust, Second Counselor in the First Presidency (1920–2007), “‘Will I Be Happy?,’” Ensign, May 1987, 82.
Contributions of Energy and Effort
“To build a foundation strong enough to support a family in our troubled world today requires the best effort of each of us—father, mother, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, and so on. Each must contribute energy and effort in driving piles right down to the bedrock of the gospel until the foundation is strong enough to endure through the eternities. The Lord has promised us in the Doctrine and Covenants that ‘he that buildeth upon this rock shall never fall.’ (D&C 50:44.)
“Build traditions in your families that will bring you together, for they can demonstrate your devotion, love, and support for one another. For each of the members of your family, these events would include blessings of children, baptisms, other priesthood ordinances, graduations, missionary [gatherings] and, of course, marriages. If distance, missions, or ill health prevent personal reunions, write one of those special letters that will be treasured in family histories. Sharing these occasions as a family will help us build a foundation established upon a rock.
“Does this not lend great strength in any family? It is so essential that we build homes that are strengthened by the support of an extended family. ‘Honour thy father and thy mother.” (Ex. 20:12.) If we show love for our parents, we will, in turn, be teaching our children love and respect in the family unit.
“Continue building lasting, loving relationships for all family members. Listen to one another, be united, work together, play together, pray together, study together. Live celestial principles together, serve the Lord together. Find those precious teaching moments with one another. Don’t let them slip through your fingers, but feed and nurture these special occasions. Never let golden opportunities go by in your relationships with your family members that will help build eternal principles.”
Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (1922–2015), “‘‘Born of Goodly Parents,’’” Ensign, May 1985, 23.
A Tremendous Source of Support, Acceptance, and Love
“What if you are single or have not been blessed with children? Do you need to be concerned about the counsel regarding families? Yes. It is something we all need to learn in earth life. Unmarried adult members can often lend a special kind of strength to the family, becoming a tremendous source of support, acceptance, and love to their families and the families of those around them.
“Many adult members of the extended family do much parenting in their own right. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, cousins, and other family members can have great impact on the family. I want to express my appreciation for those in my own extended family who have guided me by their example and testimony. Sometimes extended family members can say things parents cannot say without starting an argument.’”
Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (1932–2017), “Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty,” Ensign, May 1999, 34.
An Example of What They Can Become
“Brothers and sisters, the children need our help. They need us to prepare them. They need us to help them obtain the peace of the Lord. Today is neither too early nor too late to prepare the children, and anyone can do it. A young, new family just beginning; an established family with children of several ages; a family with one parent; grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors; and kind, understanding Church leaders and teachers—all of us can teach children of the Lord.
“We begin by teaching what we are. The children need us; they need to see in us what they can become. They need to see us keeping the commandments. We must come unto the Lord and seek for the peace of the gospel in our own lives. ‘Learn of me,’ the Lord said, ‘and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me.’ (D&C 19:23.) When we are at peace, then our children can be at peace.”
Sister Michaelene P. Grassli, former Primary General President, “Children at Peace,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 78.
A Protection for Our Young People
“As parents and leaders of youth, it might be easy to lose our faith and wring our hands with worry for them and the world they are living in.
“Our circumstances today are not without precedence or hope. When Enoch was the prophet, the heavens wept because of the wickedness of the world (see Moses 7:28–37). There is no doubt the heavens are weeping today.
“Elisha the prophet was surrounded by the whole Syrian army determined to kill him. He reassured his worried and only companion, who was busy counting Syrian heads, that when we are on the Lord’s side, regardless of numbers or worldly power, we are in the majority. I testify that the consoling words of Elisha to his young friend are still true today: ‘They that be with us are more than they that be with them’ (2 Kgs. 6:16). The Lord will surround and protect our young people with chariots of fire, as He did for Elisha, in the form of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, leaders, and friends who will vigorously love them and lead them.”
Sister Sharon G. Larsen, former Second Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, “‘Fear Not: For They That Be with Us Are More,’” Ensign, Nov. 2001, 67.
A Second or Third Witness
“Who can measure the influence of simple, sacred words of testimony? Who can calculate the impact of the Spirit that confirms those words? The seeds of testimony that are planted in the hearts of children when they are young are nourished throughout their lives by hearing the testimonies of those who love them enough to bear witness of the truth.
“Parents have been given a sacred responsibility. But parents need help. Uncles, aunts, friends, leaders, and teachers add their witness when they share their testimonies with children and youth. Several times the scriptures tell us that ‘in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established’ (D&C 6:28).”
Sister Susan L. Warner, former Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, “Bear Record of Him,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 67.