Matthew 19:1–12

Marriage Is Ordained of God

Jesus Christ answered questions and taught truth about marriage and divorce. This lesson can help you understand how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have provided a way for you to have a happy eternal marriage in your future.

Marriage is part of God’s plan

• What would happen to this bicycle wheel if the hub (the center of the wheel) were removed?

Read the first paragraph of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” (ChurchofJesusChrist.org), looking for what is central to Heavenly Father’s plan of salvation.

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

(“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org)

• How could the role of families in God’s plan be compared to the hub of a wheel?

• What do you think it means that marriage is “ordained of God”?

• Which of the following describe your current feelings about marriage? (Choose all that apply.)

  • Excited—“I am looking forward to it when the time is right.”

  • Nervous—“Will I find an eternal companion?”

  • Worried—“I see too many unhappy marriages and divorces.”

  • Confused—“There are so many different opinions about marriage.”

Marriage is meant to be eternal

In New Testament times, some people argued that the law of Moses justified divorce for even minor or selfish reasons. The Savior taught important truths about marriage in response to questions from the Pharisees about divorce. As you study His teachings, ponder how you can trust what the Savior teaches about marriage even when it is different from what the world teaches.

Read Matthew 19:3–8. Mark words or phrases that show how the Lord views marriage. Note that “put away” in these verses means divorce, “put asunder” means separate, and “from the beginning” means as instituted by God at the creation of the world.

1. Respond to the following questions in your study journal:

• What truths did Jesus Christ teach about marriage and divorce that you wish more people in the world understood? Why?

• What specific phrases in this passage help you understand what Jesus taught?

• If you could ask the Savior questions about marriage and family like people did in Matthew 19, what would you want to know?

One of the truths we can learn from the Savior’s teachings is that marriage between a man and a woman is a sacred relationship established by God and is meant to endure forever.

• How might this truth help answer some of your questions or questions that other people in the world have about marriage?

Heavenly Father desires marriage to last forever. While divorce is common in today’s world, President Dallin H. Oaks taught, “For most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance” (“Divorce,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2007, 71). Our Heavenly Father has made it possible for marriages to be eternal and for spouses to be happy and fulfilled as they strive to keep their covenants, to live the teachings of the Savior, and to apply the principle of repentance regularly. Unfortunately, sometimes divorce is necessary. As President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008) explained, “There may be now and again a legitimate cause for divorce” (“What God Hath Joined Together,” Ensign, May 1991, 74). While we should refrain from judging the decisions made by others, each of us can better prepare ourselves for a future marriage that will endure forever by trusting in Heavenly Father and His Son and learning to follow Them with all of our heart.

• What do you learn about Heavenly Father by knowing that He wants marriages to endure forever?

Use some of the following resources to search for additional truths that help answer the questions you or others may have about marriage. Ponder how your knowledge of the plan of salvation helps answer some of the questions. Be prepared to share what you learned.

• “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”

• The following doctrinal mastery passages: Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 11:11; Alma 39:9; Doctrine and Covenants 49:15–17; 131:1–4

• General conference talks or Church videos that teach about marriage (search on ChurchofJesusChrist.org or in the topics index of general conference issues of the Liahona)

• A trusted loved one who is happily married that you could contact during the lesson

• Statements in the “Optional: Want to Learn More?” section of the lesson

2. Record in your study journal at least two additional truths you found and what questions those truths might help answer.

Learning from righteous examples

Paul pointed to the love of the Savior for the Church as an example of the love that should exist in a marriage. Read Ephesians 5:25, and imagine what a marriage would look like if the husband and the wife cared for each other the way the Savior cares for members of His Church.

Focusing on examples of those with righteous marriages can strengthen our faith that God will provide this blessing to all who faithfully seek it, even if some need to wait until after their mortal life for this blessing.

You may want to watch the video “Expressions of Love” (3:26), available at ChurchofJesusChrist.org, looking for the joy that can come through a loving, righteous marriage.

• Who has been an example to you of creating a happy, righteous marriage? What Christlike attributes have helped them develop the marriage they enjoy?

• Why is it important for you to prepare now for your future marriage?

Ponder what you have learned in this lesson about the role of marriage in God’s plan and how you feel as you look forward to your future.

• What will you do now to prepare yourself for an eternal marriage?

• What can you do to receive help from the Savior to prepare?

Optional: Want to Learn More?

What happens to faithful people who don’t have the chance for eternal marriage in this life?

Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:

Some of you are denied the blessing of marriage for reasons including a lack of viable prospects, same-sex attraction, physical or mental impairments, or simply a fear of failure that, for the moment at least, overshadows faith. …

… With confidence we testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has anticipated and, in the end, will compensate all deprivation and loss for those who turn to Him. No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children.

(D. Todd Christofferson, “Why Marriage, Why Family,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2015, 52)

What has the Lord taught about legalized same-sex marriage?

President Russell M. Nelson taught:

As members of the Church, we respect the laws of the land and abide by them, including civil marriage. The truth is, however, that in the beginning—in the beginning—marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by Him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed His definition of marriage.

(Russell M. Nelson, “The Love and Laws of God” [Brigham Young University devotional, Sept. 17, 2019], speeches.byu.edu)

What can I do now to help me find a good spouse when the time is right?

President Tad R. Callister, former General Sunday School President, shared one possible way to answer this question with something his mother taught him when he was around 17 years old:

She said, “Tad, are you asking the Lord to help you find a good wife?”

… I replied, “No,” to which she responded, “Well, you should, Son; it will be the most important decision you will ever make.” Those words sunk deep into my heart, and so for the next six years, I prayed that God would help me find a good wife. And, oh, how He answered that prayer.

(Tad R. Callister, “Parents: The Prime Gospel Teachers of Their Children,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2014, 33)

Matthew 19:9. Is it OK to remarry after a divorce?

President Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency said:

The kind of marriage required for exaltation—eternal in duration and godlike in quality—does not contemplate divorce. … [But] because “of the hardness of [our] hearts” [Matthew 19:8], the Lord does not currently enforce the consequences of the celestial standard. He permits divorced persons to marry again without the stain of immorality specified in the higher law.

(Dallin H. Oaks, “Divorce,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2007, 70)

How can my faith in the Savior help me as I look for an eternal companion?

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:

Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Or, to phrase that more positively, Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness for you and for your sweetheart.

(Jeffery R. Holland, “How Do I Love Thee?” [Brigham Young University devotional, Feb. 15, 2000], speeches.byu.edu)