What can I do if I’m pressured to break Church standards by other youth who are also active Church members? I don’t want to appear self-righteous or judgmental.

Have the courage to stand up for Church standards, even if the pressure is coming from other Latter-day Saint youth who know the standards and who might think you’re acting self-righteously. Which holds the greater risk: disobeying the Lord’s commandments or looking like a goodie-goodie to some of your peers? (Now, if they’re pressuring you to do something that makes you feel personally uncomfortable or that violates a standard set by your family rather than the Church, you can still stand up for yourself by simply saying that you prefer not to do it and asking them to respect your feelings.)

Of course, you should try to handle the situation tactfully. As the prophet Alma told his missionary son Shiblon, “Use boldness, but not overbearance” (Alma 38:12). There’s no need for harsh condemnation or a condescending attitude. You can just matter-of-factly let people know what standards you have chosen to live by. And if active Church members are asking you to violate clear-cut Church standards, remember what President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, said: “Be a friend to all, but never compromise your standards.”¹

Note

1. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Your Wonderful Journey Home,” Ensign, May 2013, 128.