General Conference Helped Me Find Peace about My Divorce
I was getting divorced and didn’t understand how this could happen to me. But the messages at conference confirmed that Heavenly Father is aware of my situation.
Leading up to general conference, I was going through one of the hardest trials in my life: my marriage was ending, and I felt like God was deserting me.
In my mind, I had done everything right. I had served a mission and married in the temple and had good, worthy goals. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me, and, even more painfully, why God would allow this to happen to me.
I spent many nights on my knees praying for a soft heart and for the hurt and pain to go away. All my life, I’ve known that through Jesus Christ we can overcome all things, but I didn’t know—or quite frankly believe—that He already suffered my pain caused by this experience. I couldn’t fathom that He had felt this heartbreak.
When it came time for general conference, I was hoping and praying that God would speak peace to me through His servants. I should have never doubted because right away I was reminded to focus on the eternal perspective and to remember that God knows the reasons and timing for everything.1 Up to this point, I had felt like I should have been able to do more to prevent my marriage from ending.
But this was a gentle reminder that God’s will is greater than my will, and that I can only control my own choices and responses. As helpless as I felt, I couldn’t take away another person’s agency, despite how much it hurt me.
Every single talk after that had something that touched my soul, slowly lessening the pain in my heart and providing peace regarding my situation. I was told to be of good cheer,2 to become like Christ,3 to love those that hurt you,4 and to find joy in the gift of the Savior’s Atonement.5 I had confirmation after confirmation that I was on the right path—God’s path—for me.
But the pinnacle of my very raw and humbling spiritual experience was when President Russell M. Nelson said, “If you are married to a companion who has broken his or her covenants, your willingness to let God prevail in your life will allow your covenants with God to remain intact. The Savior will heal your broken heart.”6
In that moment, I felt the weight that I was trying to carry by myself lift.
Christ suffered for us so we could have peace and so that we could learn to rely on Him during the hard times. We aren’t meant to do it all alone. We are sanctified and perfected as we allow Him to mold us. And as Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explained, faith is trusting in God during both the good and the hard times, even though we might hurt and suffer.7
I have a firm testimony that my preparation for and approach to general conference allowed Heavenly Father to speak to me. The spirit of conference fostered an environment for me where answers were freely given and my faith was reinforced.
Looking back, I am certain that most of the messages given in conference were on topics that don’t directly connect to my situation. But that truly is the beauty of those that come to the feet of the Lord’s prophets to be ministered to. Conference is for all, but it is especially for the one.