Learning to Let Go of What I Can’t Control
I’ve been so anxious throughout all the challenges in 2020, but one message during general conference brought me the peace I needed.
I know I’m not the only one who’s been on the verge of a panic attack just about every day this year. The COVID-19 pandemic has taken a huge toll on me—emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. And with no end in sight, I’ve become a huge ball of stress, tears, and shaken faith. And on top of all my experiences with the pandemic, I’m also pregnant with my first baby (which means wacky hormones, massive anxiety, feeling and being underprepared … you get the picture).
But general conference was a breath of fresh air. It gave me a chance to sit down, take my mind off COVID and the baby for a little while (well, as much as I could), and listen to the leaders of the Church.
During a talk by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, I just had to write something down.
He counseled, “Focus on the things you can do and not on the things you cannot do.”1 His words stuck out to me—and are still sticking, even weeks later.
Elder Uchtdorf’s words reminded me that there’s not a whole lot in this world that I can control. And that idea is a little scary for me, because I’m a “type A” kind of gal—I love being in control of every aspect of my life. And not being able to control everything going on outside my home has been really hard for me.
I can’t change the big things by myself. I can’t change how others treat me or treat other people, especially right now with a lot of the civil unrest going on. I can’t change how destructive and terrifying the pandemic has been for so many people. I can’t change my pregnancy status or have this baby before she’s ready.
And I need to accept that all these things won’t change for a long time or without a lot of effort.
But right now, I can change how I interact with people. I can smile more and be more patient. I can change my own habits to help slow down the spread of the virus. I can keep praying for and serving those who have been affected by COVID. I can change how I feel about my sweet little baby and about going through another two months of physical discomfort. And I can trust in God and His timing.
As hard as this year has been (and will continue to be), Elder Uchtdorf’s message helped me find peace.
My head doesn’t constantly feel like it’s going to explode anymore. I’m more at ease with my pregnancy. I’m more patient—which my husband and puppy appreciate. And though these might be small miracles, they’re still miracles to me.
Letting go of what I can’t control has made me feel closer to Christ and closer to my family. It has given me peace, which is something I haven’t felt in months, at least not on this level. It’s given me hope, which I was afraid was gone. And it’s given me another chance to find joy, which is something I think we all need right now. Because, let’s be real, we all need something to smile about and to hold on to during these challenging times.
Keep hanging on, friends. And don’t dwell on what you can’t do. Focus instead on what you can do. Have hope, trust God, and follow Him. If you do those things, everything will work out, someday.