4 Simple Parenting Lessons I Learned from General Conference
Being a new mom has been overwhelming, but general conference helped me find faith and confidence.
Photograph from Getty Images
Like many, I’ve found this past year rather hard.
I have felt a new sense of anxiety because of the circumstances in the world. On some days, it’s prevented me from doing my daily activities and responsibilities.
And to add to all the changes this last year brought into my life, I also gave birth to my first baby. With everything going on in the world, I’d been troubled about how my husband and I could raise our son and our future children to be strong and faithful in this ever-changing and complicated world.
I had also been feeling inadequate as a mom. I’d see the highlight reels of friends and influencers on Instagram who seemed to be totally perfect at the mom game, and I felt exhausted trying to keep up (granted, my little one is five months old and still not sleeping through the night, so I’m exhausted anyway).
Because of this stress and comparison and uncertainty, I was in need of peace when the April 2021 general conference rolled around. And, as usual, the talks given were answers to so many of my said and unsaid prayers.
These are some of the lessons I learned through the conference messages—messages that have helped me have hope and feel peace as I move forward in my new role as a mother.
1. I can keep things simple.
There are countless topics, skills, and lessons that parents have to teach their children over the years. And as a new mom, I become overwhelmed when I think about how I want to teach all these things perfectly. But I was reminded by Sister Joy D. Jones, former Primary General President, of what we should focus on when teaching our children the gospel of Jesus Christ:
“The Savior urged, ‘Therefore I give unto you a commandment, to teach these things freely unto your children.’ And what did He want us to teach so freely?
1. The Fall of Adam
2. The Atonement of Jesus Christ
3. The importance of being born again”1
Her message lessened the stress I felt when thinking about my responsibility to teach my children. If I focus on these three important truths, other gospel teachings will follow.
She also mentioned that “we can have fun helping our children build spiritual resilience at any age. It doesn’t have to be complicated or time intensive.”2 I realized that I don’t need to be so focused on the structure of the teaching; we can have fun in the learning process.
2. I can create a nurturing environment.
My husband and I have a responsibility to create a home where we can find peace in the storms of life. And as I think about how strong worldly influences can be, sometimes I feel overwhelmed at the constant battle it will be to keep the world outside our doors.
Brother Jan E. Newman, Second Counselor in the Sunday School Presidency, mentioned in his talk that “we can’t give our children a testimony any more than we can make a seed grow. But we can provide a nourishing environment, with good soil, free of thorns that would ‘choke the word.’ We can strive to create the ideal conditions so that our children—and others we love—can find place for the seed, ‘[hear] the word, and [understand] it’ and discover for themselves ‘that the seed is good.’”3
His message helped me realize that I can create good habits now to keep the world at bay. For us, this may look like less TV and “screen time”; more respectful and open communication; reading or listening to uplifting books, music, and podcasts; and having a spiritually welcoming home where the gospel is discussed, questions are safe to ask, and love is always apparent.
3. I can act by example.
Elder Gary E. Stevenson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke about knitting our hearts together: “We have a primary responsibility to set a tone and be role models of kindness, inclusion, and civility—to teach Christlike behavior to the rising generation in what we say and how we act. It is especially important as we observe a marked societal shift toward division in politics, social class, and nearly every other man-made distinction.”4
He helped me learn that communicating with our children and simultaneously allowing them to see us actively implement what we teach will create a stronger spiritual impression and learning experience for them. I found a new determination to allow my children to see me serve my neighbors, be kind to everyone I meet, and be optimistic and joyful as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
4. I can increase my own faith.
I found many answers to worries I had been having in all these messages. However, my favorite talk was from our beloved prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, who taught me that in order to have hope in this world and stay optimistic and faithful no matter what is to come, I need to increase my own faith.
He said: “Your mountains will vary, and yet the answer to each of your challenges is to increase your faith. That takes work.”5 For me personally, parenting is my “mountain” right now, and I realized I do need to put in more work and be more intentional with living the gospel.
He also said:
“Truly, faith is the power that enables the unlikely to accomplish the impossible. …
“… Our faith will always propel us forward. Faith always increases our access to godly power.”6
I had been feeling like one of the “unlikely” he had described. So his message touched my heart, and I realized that if I increase my own faith, I will access divine help as I raise my children. My Heavenly Father will always be there to help me navigate the triumphs and challenges with each individual child. I realized that I’m not alone, and I am good enough to prepare them and myself to face the temptations and difficulties of the world.
Moving Forward with Christ
I’ve accepted that I won’t be perfect at everything as a mom and that my husband and I will make mistakes in parenting. But I know that if I build my foundation on the gospel of Jesus Christ, I will know where to turn when I need help, and I will know I can always improve and keep learning each day.
Because of general conference, I’m full of hope for the future and in my responsibility as a mom.