Overcoming My Fear of the Future through the Savior
I hadn’t been focusing on the Savior, and general conference reminded me of that.
Photograph by Mossimo Criscione
There is a lot of uncertainty in the world right now, and many people are feeling anxious and scared. Some of us may be wondering how much longer this pandemic will go on or how much more we can handle.
And, up until a few months ago, I was one of those people.
Many of my plans for the future that I had worked hard for fell apart last year, and I ended up separated from my family, on the other side of the world, because of the COVID-19 pandemic. I felt abandoned, scared, hurt, and, ultimately, overwhelmed.
I lived with these overwhelming emotions for a while, but eventually I realized that it wasn’t my circumstances that were making me feel terrible—it was just me and my attitude.
But I wasn’t really sure how to change my perspective. Then, while watching the October 2020 general conference, I felt the Spirit whisper to me, “You’ve taken your focus off the mark.”
I thought about that little revelation a lot.
Where was my focus?
I had been very focused on myself rather than on aligning my will with Heavenly Father’s. Somewhere between the chaos of the world and my future plans falling apart, I had taken my eyes off the Savior, similar to what Peter had done when walking on the water (see Matthew 14:22–33). The storms of life had gotten to me.
This presented me with a choice and a challenge.
The choice: either I could remain feeling justified in my negative emotions or I could turn my focus back to my Savior.
The challenge: I would need to act on the impressions I had received. It’s easy to get caught up in a spiritual high during general conference, but how we apply the impressions we receive during conference can help us find joy and success on our path as disciples of Christ. I needed to stop listening to myself and start doing better at hearing Him.
In President Russell M. Nelson’s recent conference address, he said:
“Whenever [Heavenly Father] has introduced His Only Begotten Son to mortals upon the earth, He has done so with remarkably few words. On the Mount of Transfiguration to Peter, James, and John, God said, ‘This is my beloved Son: hear him.’ His words to the Nephites in ancient Bountiful were ‘Behold my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased, in whom I have glorified my name—hear ye him.’ And to Joseph Smith, in that profound declaration that opened this dispensation, God simply said, ‘This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!’
“Now, my dear brothers and sisters, consider the fact that in these three instances just mentioned, just before the Father introduced the Son, the people involved were in a state of fear and, to some degree, desperation. …
“Our Father knows that when we are surrounded by uncertainty and fear, what will help us the very most is to hear His Son.”1
Those words struck me, and I knew that by turning my heart toward Christ, I would be able to overcome my fear of the future and feel less overwhelmed.
“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6) is the principle I needed to begin with to draw closer to Christ again. I hadn’t stopped praying or reading my scriptures, but I had definitely become casual in my spiritual habits. I was often distracted during my prayers, and I didn’t ponder what I was reading in the scriptures much.
In deciding to make a change, I have found that instead of just saying words to Heavenly Father in my prayers, I now communicate with Him from my heart and have meaningful, spiritual experiences. And my scripture study has now become “feasting upon the word[s] of Christ” (2 Nephi 31:20). I spend so much more time pondering and applying the truths I read to my life instead of just reading words on a page. I’ve done so much more to turn toward Christ during the last several months.
Has my situation changed?
Nope.
But I have changed!
I have found myself experiencing the joy that King Benjamin taught about in Mosiah 2:41: “And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual.”
My future plans haven’t suddenly all worked out and I am still separated from my family, but I am truly happy. Even better, I am joyous. I feel peace amid the storms of life. And I know without a doubt that the Lord is in control and that if I continue to follow President Nelson’s counsel to “hear Him,” I don’t need to fear.
Yes, these are trying times, and yes, it is easy to be afraid at times, but as we make a daily, hourly, even minute-by-minute effort to turn to our Savior, we will be reminded that He counsels us to “have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).