Young Adults

Strengthening My Relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ

By Chakell Wardleigh Herbert

Church Magazines

Building a stronger relationship with Them always seemed abstract to me, until I tried something new.

Photograph posed by model

The older I get, the more I realize how much I rely on relationships—relationships with friends, family, and even the delivery people who never fail to bring me my latest online order (bless them).

And for years, I knew that the frequent counsel from our Church leaders to build relationships with Heavenly Father and the Savior was true and important.¹

But I just couldn’t figure out how to actually do that.

Earthly relationships with my friends and family involve having conversations, sharing inside jokes, and spending time together. So the thought of having a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, who aren’t physically present, always seemed so abstract to me.

However, as I was pondering, I realized that everyone’s relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is personal and unique. So what if I applied some practical approaches that have helped me develop strong relationships with my loved ones here on earth to my relationship with Them?

That idea was the spark I needed.

I decided to put this idea to the test and to reevaluate my relationship with Them after 10 days.

10 Ways to Strengthen Relationships

As I was pondering ways to come closer to Heavenly Father and the Savior, I researched 10 basic relationship tips that are often given by professionals and combined them with prophetic counsel to give them a spiritual focus.

Here are the 10 tips:

1. Communicate honestly, out loud, and with real intent through prayer.²

2. Be a good listener.³

3. Show Them appreciation.⁴

4. Make sacrifices for Them.⁵

5. Learn about Them.⁶

6. Spend quality time with Them.⁷

7. Serve together.⁸

8. Show Them trust and commitment.⁹

9. Admit when you’re wrong.¹⁰

10. Learn how They show you love.¹¹

To start out, I chose to learn about my Heavenly Father and the Savior (#5), to spend quality time with Them (#6), and to learn how They offered me love (#10).

1. Learning about Them

To learn more about Them, I focused on studying Their character traits. I studied “The Living Christ,” stories of miracles in the Book of Mormon, and general conference talks. I also watched the Church’s Bible and Book of Mormon videos to get a visual of the Savior’s attributes and how He taught and interacted with others.

One attribute of the Savior I studied was His willingness to do the will of the Father (see 3 Nephi 11:11). I can’t fathom someone being willing to suffer and die for all the mistakes, sorrow, sins, and pain that everyone will ever face when this individual did no wrong. And yet, someone was willing.

He was.

I have always had faith in Him, but pondering His love and willingness to give up His life for me deepened my faith, my gratitude, and my own willingness to follow Him. And His courage inspired me to move forward with faith and hope, even while sometimes facing anxiety and fear of the unknown.

And then I turned to Heavenly Father’s character.

I’ve dealt with perfectionism for most of my life, and I used to imagine Him as an angry figure when I disappointed Him with my weaknesses and mistakes.

But as I have studied more of His nature, I’ve learned that He is not a merciless being (see Alma 32:22). He is patient and kind and loving (see 2 Peter 3:9). He is always willing to forgive me (see Mosiah 26:29–31). He is my biggest supporter (see 2 Nephi 26:24).

And I realized that He really is my Father and I am His divine child. He loves me completely (see John 3:16–17) and simply wants me to return.

Learning about the nature of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ changed my whole perception of how They feel about me and how present They actually are in my life. And I realized that They are not strangers to me—I’ve known Them since the beginning, and They have always known me too.

2. Spending Time with Them

Photograph from Getty Images

Just as I might set aside time to visit a friend, I made time to spend with Heavenly Father and the Savior every day. I said heartfelt prayers out loud and took time to listen. I played and pondered my favorite hymns. I meditated. And because temples were closed (due to COVID-19), I would go on peaceful walks.

I usually have a podcast or audiobook sounding in my ear when I go walking. But during these walks, I disconnected from the world. I chose to listen for Them. Doing this helped me connect with the Spirit and recognize and ponder the intricate details of the world and my purpose.

I realized how much thought Heavenly Father and the Savior put into Their creations—including me.

I felt a lot of spiritual power come from that quality quiet time with my Heavenly Father and Savior. I recognized more of my blessings, I found greater gratitude for life overall, I received more assurance in my decisions, and I could feel Their quiet strength sustaining me.

Just as with any other relationship, prioritizing quality time brought us much closer.

3. Recognizing How They Show Me Love

We all best receive love in certain ways.¹² I thought about how other people have shown me love and what has affected me the most over the years, and I realized that I’ve always felt most loved through the meaningful words of others.

And when I realized this, I also realized that for me, the most profound answers to prayer or the greatest comfort from Heavenly Father or the Savior has always been through words, whether those words came from someone who was prompted to talk to me, through truths in the scriptures, through books, or through beautiful quotes from prophets and apostles. Words have always filled my soul and given me comfort more than anything else.

I also thought of how They offer me love through other means, like through my loved ones, through strangers, and even through pleasant “coincidences” and mercies. I was moved to tears when I recognized just how They show me love in so many ways, but especially in the way I receive it best. They truly know us and how to reach us personally and effectively.

We too can show Them love in the best ways we know how—by sharing the gospel, following Them, and serving others.

If you need help figuring out how They show you love, ask Heavenly Father for help in recognizing it. He will show you.¹³

Building Real Relationships

This experience gave me a glimpse at how much spiritual strength I can gain by prioritizing my relationship with Heavenly Father and the Savior.

And I plan to keep on utilizing these relationship tips. I now truly see my relationship with Them as real, powerful, precious, and eternal. They aren’t intangible, as I once thought.

They are with us. They are in the details. They stand ready to shower us with strength, comfort, wisdom, guidance, and peace, especially when we make time and room for Them in our lives.

Try out your own methods to grow closer to Them and see what happens! I can testify that as we prioritize these vital relationships and follow Them, we will be able to access the Savior’s healing influence, move forward with faith (see Philippians 4:13), and find greater confidence and joy.

I know I have.

In an interview with the Church magazines, three young adults share their witness of Jesus Christ’s Atonement and how scripture study and prayer can help us develop a more personal relationship with God.

Chakell Wardleigh Herbert is an editor for the Liahona and YA Weekly. You can usually find her laughing with her husband, taking a long time to tell stories because she keeps getting sidetracked, getting sucked into books and podcasts, or getting distracted by cute dogs. In fact, she’s just easily distracted by the beautiful things in life.

More from Other Young Adults

I asked some friends to try following these tips and prophetic counsel and to share how their relationships with Heavenly Father and the Savior changed. Here are a few of their responses:

“I feel like I have more motivation to keep trying to be more like Christ. I understand Him better. And my relationship with my Father in Heaven has grown stronger too. I finally feel like I’m in Their hands.”—Joëlle Spijkerman, Gelderland, Netherlands

“My prayers became more meaningful as I imagined Heavenly Father being in the room with me. This helped me articulate my thoughts and feelings. I worked on listening for answers throughout the whole day and not just when praying. When I did listen while praying, it felt like I was counseling with God rather than talking at Him. I felt He was listening and responding to me. Sometimes I would receive a specific spiritual insight or answer to a question, but mostly I just felt that He and the Savior love me and are aware of me.”—Stefanie Roussety, Victoria, Australia

“One day, I locked myself in a room so I wouldn’t be disturbed and got on my knees to pray. As I repented and explained my fears honestly and sincerely, I felt my mistakes being washed away. I knew that Heavenly Father and the Savior were there comforting me through what I was feeling. This experience has taught me that I need to focus on Them rather than on worldly things. I’ve learned that They will always be there for us, even during our toughest trials.”—Zoe Campbell, Aberdeen, Scotland

“I became more aware of my relationship with Them. I learned how to be open with Them. I know Heavenly Father and the Savior know my feelings—better than I know myself. This experience definitely made me happier and more at peace.”—Bethany Robinson, Kent, England

“I’ve had some personal struggles for a long time. But my Heavenly Father and Savior have been walking with me and helping me to change my heart. I’m also listening to the Holy Ghost more to know what I should study in the scriptures. I’ve worked on developing my faith for a while now, and I know I can’t deny the mercy and power the Savior has and how much He and our Heavenly Father love us!”—Sariah-Lake Tipi Peneha, Waikato, New Zealand

“Each morning I did something a little different—setting goals, studying scriptures, studying my patriarchal blessing and spiritual gifts—and each morning I was able to feel God’s love. I know that He and the Savior are my biggest supporters, and that They love me, are helping me, and will always be there for me. And I know I am good enough.”—Jemma Telleman, Queensland, Australia

“To be honest, I started out kind of afraid of Heavenly Father and Christ. I’d gotten into the mindset where I was convinced if I didn’t do everything the way They wanted me to, I’d be letting Them down. I felt myself drawing away from Them out of fear. This experience has helped me to remember the most important things about Them—that They love me without exception. That They know how much I worry about letting them down, but They also have an incredible work for me to accomplish here. I feel closer to Them now and more submissive to God’s will.”—Gabrielle Lyn Shiozawa, Washington, USA

“Before this, I often felt like it was hard to have trust and confidence in Heavenly Father and the Savior. I wanted to learn how to do that because I was supposed to go to university this year and was looking forward to it. But then COVID-19 hit and delayed that plan. I murmured against God a lot. But when I started studying the Savior’s life, His atoning sacrifice, His grace, and my patriarchal blessing and recognizing Their guidance and blessings in my life, I gained so much more confidence and faith in Them. I now feel so much power to keep pressing forward with hope and trust.”—Claudio Acuña, Antofagasta, Chile

Notes

1. See James E. Faust, “A Personal Relationship with the Savior,” Ensign, Nov. 1976, 58–59.

2. See “How I #HearHim: Elder Jeffrey R. Holland” (video), ChurchofJesusChrist.org/media.

3. See Russell M. Nelson, “Hear Him,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2020, 88–92.

4. See Thomas S. Monson, “The Divine Gift of Gratitude,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2010, 87–90.

5. See Dallin H. Oaks, “Sacrifice,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2012, 19–22.

6. See Russell M. Nelson, “Prophets, Leadership, and Divine Law” (worldwide devotional for young adults, Jan. 8, 2017), broadcasts.ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

7. See M. Russell Ballard, “How I Hear Him in Still and Quiet Moments,” blog post, July 17, 2020, ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

8. See Cristina B. Franco, “The Joy of Unselfish Service,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2018, 55–57.

9. See Russell M. Nelson, “Let God Prevail,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2020, 92–95.

10. See Russell M. Nelson, “We Can Do Better and Be Better,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2019, 67–69.

11. See Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Love of God,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2009, 21–24.

12. See Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (2010).

13. See Sheri L. Dew, Worth the Wrestle (2017), 8, 9, 41.