Ko e hā ʻoku mahuʻinga ai ke muimui ʻi he tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e Siasí kau ki he teití?

Kuo ʻosi ʻomi ʻe he kau palōfita ‘i he ngaahi ʻaho kimui ní e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui kau ki he teití ke maluʻi kitautolu mei he fakatuʻutāmaki fakalaumālié mo tokoniʻi kitautolu ke teuteu ki ha ʻaho ʻe maʻu ai ha hoa ʻoku taau mo taʻengatá. ʻOku kau ʻi he ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ko ʻení ʻa e ʻikai ke teiti kimuʻa he taʻu 16, fakaʻehiʻehi mei he toutou teiti mo e tokotaha tatau pē, pea teiti pē mo kinautolu ʻoku māʻolunga ʻenau tuʻunga moʻui maʻá.

Teuteuʻi fakalaumālie koe

Ko e hā ha ngaahi sīpinga kuó ke sio kuó ne akoʻi koe ki he mahuʻinga ʻo e talangofua ki he ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e ʻEikí kau ki he teití?

Ko e hā ha ngaahi aʻusia mo ha fakakaukau ʻokú ne takiekina e vakai ʻa e kau talavoú ki he teití? Ko e hā ha ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku nau ongoʻí? Ko e hā ʻoku fie maʻu ke nau ʻilo ke lava ke nau tuʻu maʻu he ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e ʻEikí?

Ako ʻi he faʻa lotu ʻa e ngaahi potufolofola mo e ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni ko ʻení. Ko e hā e meʻa ʻokú ke ongoʻi ʻe lelei taha ki he kau talavoú ʻi he kamata ke nau feohi mo e kau finemuí?

Teutalōnome 7:3–4 (ʻOua naʻa mali kituʻa mei he fuakavá)

Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 46:33 (Tauhi e angamaʻá mo e māʻoniʻoní he ʻao ʻo e ʻEikí)

“Teití,” Ki Hono Fakamālohia ʻo e Toʻu Tupú (2011), 4–5

Vitiō: “A Brand New Year: Dating”

Ko e faiako ‘i he founga ‘a e Fakamo‘uí

Naʻe ʻafioʻi ʻe he Fakamoʻuí ʻa kinautolu naʻá Ne akoʻí mo ia te nau hoko ki aí. Naʻá Ne ʻafioʻi ha ngaahi founga makehe ke tokoniʻi kinautolu ke nau ako mo tupulaki ai—ʻa e ngaahi founga naʻe fakataumuʻa pē maʻanautolu. ʻI heʻenau faingataʻaʻiá, naʻe ʻikai ke Ne tukuange kinautolu ka naʻe kei ʻofa pē mo tokoniʻi kinautolu. Lotua ke ʻiloʻi mo ʻofaʻi e kau talavou ʻokú ke akoʻí koeʻuhí ke ke lava ʻo ʻilo e meʻa ʻoku nau fie maʻú ʻi hoʻo akoʻi kinautolu kau ki he teuteu mo kumi ha hoa ki he taʻengatá.

Tuku ke taki e kau talavoú

Vakai ki ha sīpinga ʻo e ʻasenita ʻo e fakataha fakakōlomú.

ʻE hanga ʻe ha mēmipa ʻo e kau palesitenisī ʻi he kōlomú (pe ko ha ʻasisiteni ki he pīsopé ʻi he kōlomu ʻa e kau taulaʻeikí) ʻo tataki e fakataha fakakōlomú. ʻOkú ne tataki e kau talavoú ʻi he fealeaʻaki fakataha kau ki he ngaahi meʻa ʻa e kōlomú, akoʻi kinautolu ki honau ngaahi fatongia fakataulaʻeikí (mei he folofolá mo e tohi Fatongia ki he ʻOtuá), fakalotolahiʻi kinautolu ke vahevahe ʻenau ngaahi aʻusia ʻi hono fakahoko honau fatongia ki he ʻOtuá, pea fakaafeʻi ha ʻetivaisa pe mēmipa kehe ʻo e kōlomú ke akoʻi ha lēsoni ʻo e ongoongoleleí. Te ne lava ʻo teuteu ʻaki hano fakafonu ha ʻasenita ʻo e fakataha fakakōlomú lolotonga ha fakataha fakapalesitenisī.

Kamata ʻa e akó

Vakai ki he ngaahi fakakaukau kehe ki he akó mo e akoʻí .

Fili mei he ngaahi fakakaukau ko ʻení pe ko haʻo fakakaukau pē ʻaʻau ke fakamanatu e lēsoni he uike kuo ʻosí mo fakafeʻiloaki ʻaki e lēsoni ʻo e uike ní:

• Fakaafeʻi e talavou takitaha ke ne ʻai ha foʻi lea ʻe taha ʻo fakamatalaʻi ʻaki e lēsoni ʻo e uike kuo ʻosí. Kole ki he kau talavoú pe te nau loto ke vahevahe haʻanau aʻusia mei he uike kuo ʻosí ʻoku fekauʻaki mo e lēsoní.

• Kole ki he kau talavoú ke lisi he palakipoé e meʻa ʻoku nau ʻilo kau ki he ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e ʻEikí fekauʻaki mo e teití. Tānaki ki heʻenau lisí ʻi heʻenau ako lahi ange kau ki he ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ko ʻení lolotonga e lēsoní.

Ako fakataha

Vakai ki he ngaahi fakakaukau kehe ki he akó mo e akoʻí .

ʻE lava ke tokoni e ngaahi ʻekitivitī takitaha ʻi laló ke mahino ki he kau mēmipa ʻo e kōlomú e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e Siasí fekauʻaki mo e teití. Muimui ʻi he ueʻi ʻa e Laumālié ʻo fili ha taha pe toe lahi ange ʻe ngāue lelei taha ki hoʻo kōlomú:

• Fakaafeʻi e talavou taki taha ke tohi ha lisi fakataautaha ʻo e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻokú ne fie maʻu ki hano uaifi he kahaʻú. Fakaafeʻi ʻa e kau talavoú ke nau vahevahe ʻenau lisí ʻo kapau ʻoku taau ke vahevahe ki he kalasí. Kole ki he taha ʻo e kau talavoú ke ne lau e fakamatala ʻa ʻEletā Robert D. Hales ko ʻení: “Kapau ʻokú ke fie mali mo ha tokotaha lelei, talavou, faitotonu, fiefia, ngāue mālohi mo fakalaumālie, hoko ko e tokotaha pehē” (“Ko e Fehangahangai mo e Faingataʻa ʻo e Māmaní he ʻAho Ní,” Ensign pe Liahona, Nōvema 2015, 46). Hili hono vakaiʻi ʻe he kau talavoú e lisi ʻa ia naʻa nau faʻú, te ke malava ʻo  fehuʻi kiate kinautolu pe te nau ongoʻi fēfē kapau naʻe ʻai ha lisi tatau fekauʻaki mo kinautolu ʻe honau uaifi he kahaʻú. Ko e hā ʻoku nau fakahoko he taimí ni ke nau aʻu ki he tuʻunga ʻe fie mali ai honau uaifi he kahaʻú mo kinautolu? Fakaafeʻi e kau talavoú ke nau aleaʻi ʻa e founga ʻe  lava ke tupulaki fakatāutaha ai e ngaahi ʻulungaanga ko ʻení ʻi he taimí ni mo e anga hono uesia ʻe he ngaahi ʻulungaanga ko ʻení ʻa e faʻahinga kakai te nau teiti mo iá.

• Fakaafeʻi e kau talavoú ke nau fanongo mo aleaʻi ha faleʻi ʻoku nau saiʻia ai ʻi heʻenau lau mo fanongo ki he lea ʻa Palesiteni Kōtoni B. Hingikelī “Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry.” Ko e hā ʻoku akoʻi ʻe Palesiteni Hingikelī kau ki he ngaahi fili ʻoku fai ʻe he kau talavoú ʻi he taimi te nau teiti aí? Kole ke nau hiki ha niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi ʻulungaanga lelei te nau fakaʻamu ke maʻu ʻe honau uaifi he kahaʻú pea fili ha ʻulungaanga lelei ʻe taha mei he lisí ʻe lava ke nau fakatupulaki ke maʻu ai e faʻahinga hoa ʻoku nau fakaʻamuá. ʻE takiekina fēfē heʻenau ngaahi aʻusia ʻi he teití he taimi ní ʻa e faʻahinga taha te nau iku ʻo mali mo iá?

• Huluʻi ha ngaahi konga ʻo e “A Brand New Year: Dating,” pea taʻofi fakataimi e vitioó ke fakangofua ha taimi ki he kau talavoú ke fakasio ha ngaahi tuʻunga ʻulungaanga ʻo e teiti ʻoku fakamatala ki ai e kakai ʻi he vitioó. Kole ki he kau talavoú ke nau toe vakaiʻi e “Teití” ʻi he  Ki Hono Fakamālohia ʻo e Toʻu Tupú  pea kumi ha ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui kehe naʻe ʻikai ke ʻasi ʻi he vitioó. Fakaafeʻi kinautolu ke tali e ngaahi fehuʻi ko ʻení: “Ko e hā ʻoku mahuʻinga ai ke muimui ʻi he tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e Siasí kau ki he teití?” “Ko e hā ʻoku mahuʻinga ai ke ke muimui ki he ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ko ʻení?” mo e “Ko e hā e taumuʻa ʻo e teití?” Fakaafeʻi e kau talavoú ke nau aleaʻi e ngaahi founga te nau lava ke tali ʻakí he taimi ʻoku nau ongoʻi mafasia ai ke fai ha meʻa ʻoku fehangahangai mo e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e Siasí fekauʻaki mo e teití. Fakakaukau ki hono vahevahe e ngaahi sīpinga ʻo e founga ne tāpuekina ai koe ʻaki hono tauhi e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e Siasí ki he teití, pea fakaafeʻi e niʻihi kehé ke vahevahe ha ngaahi aʻusia tatau. Fakaafeʻi e kau talavoú ke nau vahevahe e meʻa te nau ke tauhi e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ko ʻení.

• Fakaafeʻi e kau mēmipa ʻo e kōlomú ke toe vakaiʻi e konga ko e “Teití” ʻi he Ki Hono Fakamālohia ʻo e Toʻu Tupú pea tohi ha faʻahinga fehuʻi kau ki he teití. Fakaafeʻi ha kau pēnolo ko ha kau talavou mo ha kau finemui matuʻotuʻa ange ke tali ʻenau ngaahi fehuʻí mo aleaʻi e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ki he teití. Poupouʻi e kau mēmipa ʻo e pēnoló ke fakakau ha ngaahi sīpinga ʻo e founga kuo nau moʻui ʻaki e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻuí ʻi heʻenau teití, hangē ko e teunga tāú, fili e ngaahi ʻekitivitī totonú, pea teiti mo kinautolu ʻoku māʻolunga ʻenau tuʻunga moʻuí.

Kole ki he kau talavoú ke nau vahevahe e meʻa ne nau ako he ʻaho ní. ʻOku mahino nai kiate kinautolu e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e Siasí fekauʻaki mo e teití? Ko e hā ʻa e ngaahi ongo pe ngaahi fakakaukau ʻoku nau maʻú? ʻOku ʻi ai haʻanau toe ngaahi fehuʻi kehe? ʻE ʻaonga ke fakamoleki ha toe taimi ʻi he tokāteline ko ʻení?

Tokoni fakafaiako

“Fehuʻi ki hoʻo kau akó pe ko e hā ‘enau fakamatalá kapau ‘e fie ‘ilo ha taha ki he meʻa kuo nau ako mei he lēsoní” (ʻOku ‘Ikai ha Ui ‘e Mahuʻinga Ange ‘i he Faiakó [2000], 111).

Fakaafeʻi ke ngāue

Vakai ki he ngaahi fakakaukau kehe ki he akó mo e akoʻí .

ʻE fakaʻosi ʻa e fakatahá ʻe he talavou ʻokú ne tatakí. ʻE lava ke ne:

• Fakalotolahiʻi e kau mēmipa ʻo e kōlomú ke nau fokotuʻu ha taumuʻa ke talangofua ki he ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e ʻEikí fekauʻaki mo e teití.

• Vahevahe ʻene fakamoʻoní ki he ngaahi tāpuaki ʻoku maʻu mei he talangofua ki he ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻa e ʻEikí fekauʻaki mo e teití.

Ngaahi ʻEkitivitī Felāveʻi mo e Toʻu Tupú

Palani ha ʻekitivitī ʻa e Mutualé ʻe tokoni ki he kau talavoú ke fakaʻaongaʻi e meʻa ne nau ako he lēsoni ko ʻení.