Youth in Southern Africa Ask Their Questions

In an areawide Face to Face devotional with the youth, Elder Ronald A. Rasband invited young people to ask the questions that were weighing on their minds. Elder and Sister Rasband, members of the Africa South Area presidency, and other leaders helped to answer the questions. Over the next few editions, we will feature some of the questions and some of the counsel that was shared.

This quarter, we will tackle matters related to mental health.

Question: How can I divorce negative thoughts that keep on coming to my mind?

Answer: It is inevitable that negative thoughts will come into our minds from time to time. However, we decide what we do with those thoughts: whether we entertain them continuously or whether we try to replace them with positive ones. Keeping our thoughts positive is not easy, but it is possible and brings blessings. Clean and positive thoughts will help you be happier and have the influence of the Spirit with you.

Let your confidence wax strong in the presence of God and the Holy Ghost shall be your constant companion. (See Doctrine and Covenants 121:45–46.)

“As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life.”¹

Your mind is like a stage, and there can be only one thought on the stage at a time. We recommend having a hymn or another uplifting phrase that you can use to push negative thoughts off the stage and replace them with positive ones.

If you struggle with repeated, unwanted thoughts of hopelessness or despair, you could be struggling with depression. See the Resources on the Church website at ChurchofJesusChrist.org, then select Life Help, then Mental Health.

In most countries, you can call a free telephone number to receive free counselling. We encourage you to look online for what is available in your country and to make a phone call if you feel you would benefit from it.

There are people in your ward and community who care about you and are here to provide you with love, help, and support. Most importantly, remember that the Lord loves you and is always there for you, every moment of the day, no matter what.

Question: How do I prevent anxiety so I can share the Book of Mormon with people?

Answer: It’s completely normal to feel anxious about sharing the gospel with someone. The important thing is to do it anyway!

President Thomas S. Monson (1927–2018) said, “Remember that all men [and women] have their fears, but those who face their fears with dignity have courage as well. …

“Someone has said that courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.”²

You don’t need to overcome your fears before you share the gospel. If we did that, the Church would be a very small place indeed! Pray to the Lord to help you face your fears and share the gospel with that friend.

Remember that you will not be in a debate of knowledge with that person. You simply explain the joy that you feel because of the gospel and invite that person to come to church with you or to read the Book of Mormon and pray about it.

Your heart may be racing, your stomach may be in knots, but if you take that action, you are showing courage indeed.

Question: What do you do when you have narcissistic parents that add pressure to your life and don’t understand that you’re human and make mistakes too?

Answer: If you live in a home with such parents, you may wish you felt more love, more acceptance or more support than you receive. You may struggle with anxiety or feel a need to prove yourself by being highly productive or achieving a lot.

You may feel a need to be perfect to please your parents. Or you may feel worn down by their unrealistic expectations. The counsel we offer here is to reflect daily on the important truth that your best is good enough. Your worth is not dependent on who you please or what you achieve. You are perfectly loveable because you are you.

Start asking the Lord through prayer to teach you who you really are. The more you understand how infinitely loved and valuable you are, the more strength that can give you to deal with the difficulties at home. Bonnie L. Oscarson said, “The real source that we should turn to find out our value is our Heavenly Father . . . The thing that gives me the greatest comfort is knowing who I am.”³

Check out the article “What You’re Worth and How to Know It” by Hadley Griggs—featured in the July 2017 New Era, to get some more ideas about how to increase your self-esteem.

Question: How do I know that Heavenly Father has forgiven my sins?

Answer: Forgiveness will come when you have followed the requirements of repentance such as seeking forgiveness, feeling sorrow for the sin, keeping the commandments, repairing the wrong as much as possible, and giving up and confessing the sin.

Serious sins need to be confessed to your bishop or branch president; less-serious sins can be confessed just to Heavenly Father. (See more in “Q&A: Questions and Answers,” New Era, Nov. 2005, 16–18.)

Some people are harder on themselves than the Lord is.

Tad Callister, former Sunday School General President says, “If we feel the Spirit, then that is our witness that we have been forgiven, or that the cleansing process is taking place. President Henry B. Eyring taught, “If you have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost . . . , you may take it as evidence that the Atonement is working in your life.” ⁴

President Callister also said, “If we feel the Lord’s Spirit, we can proceed with confidence that we have been cleansed or that the cleansing process is working its divine miracle in our life. The promise is certain—if we do our best to repent, we will be cleansed of our sins and our guilt will eventually be swept away, because the Savior’s Atonement descended not only below our sins but also our guilt. Then we will be at perfect peace with ourselves and with God.”⁵