How I Found Direction When I Felt Spiritually Aimless
I’ve always known what the next step in my spiritual progression should be. Until recently.
Most of my young adulthood has felt like a sprint from one important goal to the next.
I went to college. I got married. I finished my degree. I started working a job I love.
My plans and goals have been so clear for such a long time. I’ve been working toward the life I’m living for as long as I can remember. I did things in the prescribed order, planning and organizing exactly how I was told.
But recently, my goals haven’t felt so concrete. My next career moves aren’t clearly laid out, and my husband and I aren’t sure when we’ll start growing our family. After years of feeling like I knew what the next step was, sometimes I feel a little lost and aimless in life.
And lately, I’ve started feeling the same way spiritually.
A Lifetime of Christlike Living
When I was young, I felt like I always knew what I was working toward spiritually. I prepared for baptism, then my endowment, then my sealing. I moved from Primary to Young Women to a young single adult ward. Things just built on each other, showing me a natural path in my spiritual progression.
My progress these days lacks that structure. With all of the wonderful Come, Follow Me resources, I struggle to discern which study methods work best for me. With no big spiritual event coming up in my life, I don’t always know where to put my spiritual energy.
As the sort of person who loves to check things off my to-do list, feeling this sense of uncertainty is hard for me. I like structure and rules and clear instructions. In my youth and early young adult years, I often had leaders encouraging me to look out for the needs of specific ward members or scheduling service projects that I attended, and I didn’t have to think very hard about what I was supposed to be doing.
That’s not the case anymore. There are so many good things I could be doing with my time, but what are the most important things? How can I best prepare for the future I don’t even have planned? Why can’t I have a strict list of do’s and don’ts that allows me to progress on the covenant path without all this confusion?
I gained a new perspective when I heard Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ask this question:
“Would such an approach truly prepare you for a lifetime of Christlike living?”1
An Invitation to Trust
While I had been feeling like I was in a bit of a rut, Elder Uchtdorf helped me see my situation as an opportunity to “let God prevail”2 and focus on “values, principles, and doctrine instead of every specific behavior.”3 This was a good reminder that I do still have eternal, unchanging truths to guide me, like the commandments and the covenants I’ve made, but I also have the responsibility to counsel with Heavenly Father as I make a more personalized plan for my life.
The uncertainty I’m feeling isn’t evidence of distance from God—it’s an invitation to trust more fully in Him and exercise faith as I “wait upon the Lord” (Isaiah 40:31). As I make plans and look for guidance, I can consider the invitations the Lord has already extended to me:
“‘Let God prevail.’
“… ‘Come, follow me’ [Luke 18:22].
“… ‘Live in a holier, higher, more mature way.’
“… ‘Keep my commandments.’”4
Because “the best guide you can possibly have for making choices is Jesus Christ.”5
Let God Prevail
I’m realizing that in some ways, the aimlessness I’m experiencing is good for me. Rather than “being compelled in all things” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:26), I have the chance to strengthen my relationship with Christ, learn how to receive personal revelation, and create the life plan that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want for me. When considering all aspects of my future, including both spiritual and temporal, it’s helpful for me to remember this truth that President Russell M. Nelson taught and Elder Uchtdorf reminded me of:
“When your greatest desire is to let God prevail … You know what you want to accomplish. You know the kind of person you … want to become.”6
This isn’t a very specific life plan, but it’s enough for me. Even in times of uncertainty, I find peace knowing that I “can build a joyful, happy life because Jesus Christ is [my] strength.”7