My Change of Heart about Church Meetings
I didn’t see a reason to enjoy church anymore until some inspiring messages from general conference changed my perspective.
As a missionary, I used to look forward to Sabbath mornings, anxiously awaiting a chance to meet someone new, see one of our friends, or even just to hear from the members I knew and loved.
I never wanted to leave!
But ever since I’d come home from my mission, Sunday meetings seemed to have lost their magic. I wasn’t getting much out of them.
Growing up as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints means that I have attended hundreds of Sunday meetings. As a child, I enjoyed going to Primary (you couldn’t find a more willing participant during singing time). As a teenager, I loved being a part of the Young Women program, and even as a young adult, I looked forward to attending Sunday School with my college friends while I attended my young single adult ward.
I married my husband soon after my mission and being a part of a family ward again was difficult. Since we don’t have children, we felt out of place in a ward full of mothers and fathers while we were still learning to be a husband and a wife. Moving to a new ward meant we hadn’t been given callings, and we sometimes felt as if we were invisible.
I started to have discouraging thoughts while I sat in the back of the chapel. Unfortunately, I focused more on what unimpressed me rather than on the Spirit. And when I finally gave up on listening, I would find the closest baby and play long-distance peek-a-boo rather than try to learn something new.
A Spiritual Dart to My Heart
These feelings continued up until this October general conference. Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke as if he knew that I specifically was listening. He asked if there were any who had offered a prayer saying, “Heavenly Father, Church services are boring. May I worship Thee … in the mountains or on the beach?”1 I then learned from Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles that belonging comes when we reach out and serve others,2 not when we sit and wait. It was as if a spiritual dart had been shot into my heart.
Here I was, a grown woman, complaining I didn’t have any friends in the ward when I hadn’t even tried. Who knows how many people I could have met simply by taking some initiative and reaching out.
I recalled a lesson my mom taught me: when we feel like we are not noticed or appreciated at church, we are simply caught up in the wrong perspective. Instead of trying to be seen, we should be seeing others! If you take your focus off of yourself and turn it outward, then you can be the reason someone else has an uplifting experience.
Elder Christofferson took this even further when he said, “We don’t join the Church for fellowship alone … We join for redemption.”3 Immediately the rest of my pride and selfish discouragement melted as I was reminded of the true reason we go to church every week: to partake of the sacrament and to worship our Lord and our God. To feel His redeeming power, and to become the person He wants us to be.
A New Start
Elder Christofferson ended his talk with a powerful declaration:
“I belong in His Church and kingdom; ...”
“… I testify that you do belong.”4
And you know what? I do. This is where I belong. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Will there still be some meetings that seem to last forever? Sure. Will I still lose interest sometimes? Perhaps. But now I am going to focus on using this opportunity to truly repent, to change my heart and move toward Christ. I can be the one truly seeing those around me. And most importantly, remember the real reason I am sitting in that chapel—to be redeemed.