How General Conference Helped Me through a Breakup
Dealing with a breakup was difficult, but general conference helped me find comfort in the middle of my emotional trials.
At the start of my last semester of college, I was having problems in my relationship with my boyfriend. We hadn’t been communicating with each other well, which left me feeling sad and distant from him. I wasn’t sure what to do.
Thankfully, general conference was coming up soon, so I pondered what questions I had about my relationship and looked forward to the messages that would be shared. But the night before the October 2021 general conference, my boyfriend broke up with me, and my questions no longer seemed relevant.
I had hoped we could resolve our problems, so I had many doubts about myself when our relationship ended. My ex-boyfriend was a good person, so if a relationship with him didn’t work out, how could I expect any relationship to work out? I questioned if I even knew how to trust God because of the seeming radio silence between Him and me in the week leading up to general conference. I felt depressed and desperate for some peace and direction on what to do next.
Learning that God Wasn’t Disappointed in Me
As I watched general conference, I held on to hope that some message would help me with the discouragement I was feeling. And when Elder Anthony D. Perkins of the Seventy spoke, I felt like he was speaking directly to me. He shared the truth that when we suffer emotionally, it is not because God is displeased with us.1
That was a relief to hear because I had been trying my best to date and get to know people so I could eventually get married in the temple, but I felt disappointed in myself and thought that Heavenly Father felt the same way. But as Elder Perkins said: “Whatever the cause of your sufferings, your loving Heavenly Father can direct them to refine your soul. … and ‘God shall wipe away all tears from [your] eyes’ [Revelation 7:17; 21:4].”2
I had cried so much over my breakup. But the Spirit comforted me when I heard Elder Perkins promise that God could direct my trials to refine me and that He would wipe away my tears as I endured. Because of Elder Perkins’s words, I knew I could endure with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by my side.
Realizing They Were Intimately Aware of What I Was Feeling
Throughout the week leading up to general conference, I had talked with several people about the confusion and sadness I had been feeling about my relationship. Talking to others helped me understand my feelings, but I became frustrated because I felt like no one truly understood what I was going through.
But I gained comfort from Elder Perkins’s words again when he shared that in the middle of the physical and emotional pain he experienced during cancer treatments, he felt God’s love encircle him. He knew that God was aware of his pain, which gave him the strength he needed to endure.3 And I cried tears of relief because I knew that God understood what I was feeling too, unlike anyone else I had talked to that week (see Alma 7:11–12).
But God also knew that I would be able to endure if I strengthened my faith in Jesus Christ, which would bring me strength and peace.
He truly knew my pain because He “descended below all things” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:6). He would send His Spirit to give me “strength to endure trials”4 so that I could press forward with His divine help, instead of on my own.
Choosing to Find Joy Every Day
The pain from this breakup felt like it would never end. But Elder Perkins taught, “If you find yourself in dark nights of suffering, by choosing faith you can awake to bright mornings of rejoicing.”5
Even though I understood that Christ knew how I felt, I realized I wasn’t choosing to have faith in Him to keep myself going. Elder Perkins also shared a quote by President Russell M. Nelson that was a timely reminder for me: “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”6
The moment I heard this, I decided I wanted to focus more on Jesus Christ and choose faith in Him each day, because He is the promise of a bright morning. And over time, the bright and joyful mornings came again.
Looking Forward
The knowledge and comfort I gained from that general conference and every one since has helped me continue to wake to bright mornings of rejoicing.
When I was questioning who I could trust again after this breakup, I was able to look closer at how I had been blessed and guided as I have trusted God in the past. And I gained a greater resolve to keep trusting Him in the future. As I have worked through my emotions since that terrible breakup, I see how God has supported me and continues to support me through all I face. And I see how He speaks to us and whatever we are facing directly through revelation and especially through His prophets and other Church leaders. I know He cares about what weighs on our hearts and that He understands our emotions. And as we look forward with faith in Him and His prophets, we can always be led to joy, no matter what we face.