Remembering My Divine Identity When I Needed to Most
I was absolutely furious after someone offended me, but President Nelson’s words helped me remember my true identity and what that means for me.
Violent frustration shatters the serenity of the beautiful spring day. The breeze is cool, but it isn’t enough to calm me down. The sun is shining, but it isn’t enough to brighten my mood. As I storm down the sidewalk, asthma’s tight grip starts to constrict my breathing. The frustration has taken control.
I can’t believe that they could think that, I fume. The scowl on my face deepens. They don’t even know me!
Even when I reach my destination, I can’t calm down. The wind gets me cold, so I move into the sun, but then I get too hot and move back, the never-ending cycle just adding to my irritation. Something about that comment from yesterday has really gotten under my skin.
I can’t believe I’m still this upset even while I’m on temple grounds!
I think of what I can do to curb the anger. My mind flashes to the paper and pencil that I have in my backpack. I quickly pull them out to write a letter. I’ll write to show them that I’m justified in my anger. I’ll write to show them how unreasonably patient I’ve been all this time.
But what do I say? Indecision takes brief control of my thoughts, only to be ripped away as I start to write. The feelings of my heart take physical form on the page as I pour my emotions into the writing.
My hand cramps, but I don’t stop. I get cold, but I won’t stop. No, I need to get these words onto the page.
I eventually find myself copying the same 13 words, rewriting them over and over and over. But they aren’t the frustrated words I had planned. They’re quite different.
“I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I can forgive. I can love.”
In this moment of frustration, do I really believe it?
I remember President Russell M. Nelson’s words from the recent devotional addressed to young adults. He emphasized how important it is for our generation to know our identity as children of God, children of the covenant, and disciples of Jesus Christ. 1
The hallmark of a disciple of Jesus Christ is love. I know this because, as a missionary, I memorized the scripture John 13:34–35, which says:
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
I know that to truly be a disciple of Jesus Christ, I have to love. And loving means forgiving, even though sometimes that can be the hardest part.
Sitting on the temple grounds, I know I need to forgive. I’m letting my frustration and anger take precedence over my identity as a disciple of Jesus Christ, which is exactly what President Nelson pleaded with us not to do. “I plead with you not to replace these three paramount and unchanging identifiers with any others, because doing so could stymie your progress.”2
How can I make my discipleship my top identifier in this moment? I just keep writing it over and over—“I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I can forgive. I can love.” It doesn’t calm my frustration entirely. But it does help me, in that moment of anger, to remember my identity.
After the Savior’s visit to the Americas (see 3 Nephi chapters 11–28), the Nephites achieved peace and harmony among themselves by following this principle of discipleship. “Do you think that the people were unified because they were all the same, or because they had no differences of opinion?” asked Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. “I doubt it. Instead, contention and enmity disappeared because they placed their discipleship of the Savior above all else … The result was that ‘there could not be a happier people … who had been created by the hand of God’ [4 Nephi 1:16].”3
By the time I got to the bottom of the page, I had written this phrase over 50 times: “I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I can forgive. I can love.” It helped me to remember my identity when I needed it most.