Is Life Supposed to Be This Hard?

By Mindy Selu

Church Magazines

I was struggling with everything in life, but general conference messages reminded me that that’s the point.

In the weeks leading up to general conference, my bishop emphasized that he wanted everyone in our ward to approach conference with a question in mind. That’s not really anything new, right? It’s what I usually do anyway. But this time, I just couldn’t come up with anything.

Ever since the beginning of the pandemic, I’ve really struggled. With my work, with being a mom of young children, with my mental health. Just everything. I often feel like a walking definition of burnout, and I just generally feel like I am failing at most things in life. So when I pondered about what question to bring to conference, the only thought that came to mind was, “Life is just hard.” That was it. Not even a question. Just a somewhat depressing observation.

So I really wasn’t expecting to get an answer to my non-question.

A Direct Message

As general conference began, a few talks seemed to hint at my unspoken concerns: there were messages of mental illness, “the crosses we bear,” and “inevitable” suffering.¹

And then President Henry B. Eyring, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, stood up on Sunday afternoon. I almost couldn’t believe my ears as he recounted a story of complaining to his mother about how something was hard. To which she responded, “Of course it’s hard. It’s supposed to be. Life is a test.”²

He perfectly responded to my pre-conference thought. It was one of those moments in life where I truly felt seen and heard by my Heavenly Father.

And He had the perfect response. The answer, as is usually the case, is faith—faith in the Savior.

President Eyring continued speaking about his mother, saying, “She knew she could do it through faith in her Savior.”³ She could get through all the trials of life with faith in the Savior. She could make it back to her heavenly home with faith in the Savior.

This message was exactly the “legacy of encouragement”⁴ I needed.

Trials Point Us to Christ

I was reminded that life being hard is part of Heavenly Father’s plan. In fact, as I went back later that night to relisten to President Eyring’s message, I remembered that I hadn’t yet watched the Saturday evening session, where I heard even more answers to my non-question:

“Trials do not mean that the plan is failing,” explained Sister Michelle D. Craig, First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency. “They are part of the plan meant to help me seek God. I become more like Him when I endure patiently.”⁵

Somehow, amid my struggles and thoughts of my shortcomings, I had forgotten the point of life’s trials: to turn us to Christ and to our Heavenly Father. I had forgotten about the strength, the hope, the “assurance and … confidence of success in [our] struggle”⁶ that we can have through relying on “the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Nephi 2:8).

Luckily, general conference held those reminders. The reminders that even though I am weak, and even though I struggle with, like, everything, I am not a lost cause. I can keep going and keep improving day by day as I grow my faith in the Savior.

In case you’re needing these reminders too, here are just a few:

From President Eyring, “The Savior knows your struggles in detail. He knows your great potential to grow in faith, hope, and charity.”⁷
From Elder Gerrit W. Gong, “Heaven can give us strength and wisdom beyond our own. …

“We are less alone when we realize we are not alone. Our Savior always understands.”⁸

From our prophet President Russell M. Nelson, “No matter tribulation and no matter delays in promised blessings, we can ‘be of good cheer; [for Christ has] overcome the world’ [John 16:33], and we are with Him.”⁹
From Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “If the Savior were standing here today, He would express His endless love for you, His complete confidence in you. He would tell you that you can do this. You can build a joyful, happy life because Jesus Christ is your strength.”¹⁰
From Sister Michelle D. Craig, “[Jesus Christ] doesn’t see our lack as failure but rather as an opportunity to exercise faith and to grow.”¹¹

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

The point is life is hard—for everyone. The messages from general conference didn’t try to tell me that it’s not, that I should just try harder, or that I must be doing something wrong to be feeling this weariness and burnout. They simply reminded me that the answer to the trials of life is to turn to Christ. He believes in us. He will strengthen us and lift our burdens.

The messages also helped me feel like maybe I’m doing better than I think. I’m not doing anything wrong to make life hard. It just is, and that’s OK. In fact, that’s the point. And whether we rely on Christ or not, life is still going to be hard. The difference will be that by relying on our Savior, the peace we feel will outweigh the turmoil or the uncertainty we feel in our daily lives.

“Because of the Savior,” President Russell M. Nelson promised, “… you can overcome the spiritually and emotionally exhausting plagues of the world. … Despite the distractions and distortions that swirl around us, you can find true rest—meaning relief and peace—even amid your most vexing problems.”¹²

My feelings of inadequacy and weakness aren’t going to end today. But now I know what to do about it: turn to Christ.