What Do We Do When We Are Waiting on the Lord?
How could I keep an eternal perspective and have joy while waiting on the Lord?
I waited over two years for my miracle. And I am not the most patient person. I like to have a plan, and I get stressed when things don’t go how I think they should.
So, trusting in the Lord’s timing was hard. Trying to find joy while waiting was even harder.
I had a very clear idea of what I wanted my life to look like after I got married. My husband and I hoped to have our first baby right after I graduated with my bachelor’s degree. But after almost a year of negative pregnancy tests and more questions than answers, I was devastated that my plans weren’t being realized, and I felt like my prayers weren’t being heard.
I found myself asking the same question Elder Bryan K. Taylor of the Seventy posed: “Why do some receive their yearned-for miracles quickly, while others patiently endure, waiting upon the Lord?”1 It was hard to watch our dream of having a baby move further and further from reach.
There came a moment when I was just so angry with Heavenly Father that I knelt down and asked Him why He didn’t want me to become a mother. Was I not good enough? Was I broken?
I didn’t receive an answer that day, but I did feel God’s love. As Elder Taylor said, “We may not know the why, yet gratefully, we know He who ‘loveth [us]’ [1 Nephi 11:17] and ‘[doeth] all things for [our] welfare and happiness’ [Doctrine and Covenants 121:7].”2
Avoiding the “Darkness of Discontent”
After that day, I decided that I was going to choose joy, no matter what happened in my life. I knew that the Lord loved me and knew me. He had a plan for me and wanted what was best for me. And that was enough for me.
When I stopped blaming myself and Heavenly Father for my trial, I was able to put my trust in Him and find ways to be joyful even while waiting on my miracle.
Elder Taylor outlined three ways we can “avoid the darkness of discontent and instead find greater peace, hope, and even joy during life’s difficult challenges”3:
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Stronger faith comes by putting Jesus Christ first.
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Brighter hope comes by envisioning our eternal destiny.
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Greater power comes by focusing on joy.4
Going through this trial helped me come closer to my Savior and lean on Him for healing through His Atonement.
Keeping an Eternal Perspective
One thing that helped me maintain an eternal perspective and have hope for my future when things got hard was reading my patriarchal blessing. This reminded me that God knows me and has a plan for me.
I was eventually diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, which was making it hard for me to get pregnant and explained many of my medical issues up to that point. I had to make some big life changes, but I finally got a positive pregnancy test on my birthday, a year after being diagnosed.
Looking back now, I can see God’s hand in every step along the way. If everything had gone according to our plan and not His, my husband and I wouldn’t be where we are today—physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I encourage you to do as Elder Taylor outlined and choose to put Christ first, realize your eternal destiny, and focus on joy. I know this will give you the strength you need while you wait on the Lord for your miracle.