What Does “Covenant Confidence” Look Like? And How Can I Get it?
There’s a difference between ordinary self-assurance and true, Christ-centered covenant confidence.
As soon as Elder Ulisses Soares uttered the words “covenant confidence”1 in general conference, my ears perked up.
Confidence is exactly what I have been struggling with lately (OK, fine—for forever). I try to look confident on the outside, but on the inside, my confidence sometimes feels like a supermassive black hole (i.e., a dark, gaping pit of nothingness). My lack of confidence has made me doubt my skills, second-guess my friendships, and run away screaming from dating apps instead of faithfully pursuing that ever-elusive goal of eternal marriage. I often avoid trying things at all just to save myself the disappointment of failure.
In a way, the only thing I am confident in is my weakness—which is surely not what Heavenly Father wants for me. If I lack confidence, how can I “come boldly unto the throne of grace” (Hebrews 4:16) or “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ” (2 Nephi 31:20)?
What’s a coward like me to do?
So What Is Covenant Confidence?
Elder Soares defined covenant confidence as “the quiet yet certain assurance of receiving the blessings that God promises for those who keep their covenants.”2
I have always struggled to have that kind of assurance. I even avoid reading my patriarchal blessing so I won’t have to face the heavy weight of unfulfilled promises. While I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and yearn to become like Them, I often feel sure I will never receive those blessings—not because They will fail me, but because I will fail Them.
The thing is, by trusting more in my ability to fail than the Savior’s ability to save, I’m proving just how misplaced my confidence truly is. Honestly, I think it’s OK if I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself yet. I need to have confidence in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and in my relationship with Them. That’s the difference between ordinary self-assurance and true, Christ-centered covenant confidence.
Of course, I’m destined to fail if I’m putting my trust in the arm of flesh (my own weak, fleshy arm). That’s why the Savior invites me to “take [His] yoke upon [me]” (Matthew 11:29). When I’m yoked with Him, He shares His strength with me, and I can confidently move forward along the covenant path, whatever comes my way.
And What Does It Look Like in My Life?
I have already yoked myself to the Savior through my baptismal and temple covenants. So how can I gain confidence in those covenants?
Elder Soares explained that the temple is key. “When we enter the Lord’s house, we embark on a sacred journey of learning to become higher and holier disciples of Christ. … We obtain a holier and higher confidence for our day-to-day lives within our covenants made through Jesus Christ.”3
This made me reflect on my own experiences with the temple. When I was newly endowed, I attended frequently and even served as an ordinance worker for a time. But sadly, I haven’t made temple attendance a priority in a while.
Recently, late on a Thursday night, I had the opportunity to clean the temple. Being inside those sacred walls, even just to vacuum and dust, gave me much-needed spiritual refreshment. It reminded me of how I felt years ago when I attended the temple regularly. Whenever I walked through the doors, I felt peace and relief. It truly felt like coming home.
That is the feeling of covenant confidence, I realized. I knew back then that the Lord wanted to be close to me—despite whatever weaknesses I had. In the temple, the gap I’d created between us felt very thin as the Spirit communicated my Father’s love to me.
I thought about other lackluster spiritual habits I’d fallen into: half-hearted prayers, lazy church attendance, sleepy scripture study on my phone in the dark at bedtime. I let my covenant confidence weaken by weakening my efforts to connect with God. To be confident in my covenants with Him, I need to strengthen my relationship with Him by sincerely trying to offer my all.
Trying takes courage. Giving up is much easier. But I know it will be worth it to push through my fear and fatigue, with the Savior sharing my yoke. Then, my covenant confidence can truly “wax strong in the presence of God” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:45).