Digital Only: Early Women of the Restoration
Cyrena Dustin Merrill: Choosing between Faith and Family
She had heard the voice of the Lord, knew the Church was His, and would not be parted from it.
The Pioneer, by Robert T. Barrett, courtesy of Church History Museum
For many Latter-day Saints, hearing the voice of the Lord and the call to join His Church is a joy tempered by separation or opposition from their families. This was the case for Cyrena Dustin Merrill. Her decision to join with the Saints and gather to Zion meant leaving her family and childhood home behind. She recorded her life experiences in a handwritten autobiographical account for her posterity in 1898.1 This precious account offers insights into her thoughts and feelings as she joined the Church and faced many trials as a result.
Cyrena was born in New York, USA, in January 1817. The next year, her parents, Seth Dustin and Betsey Redfield Dustin, moved their family to Ohio, then on the frontier of the United States, seeking new opportunities. As a child, Cyrena was in poor health and spent much of her time at home, relying on her family.
She first heard the gospel preached in 1836 in Portage County, Ohio, about 40 miles (64 km) south of Kirtland. Cyrena took several months to decide to join the Church and was baptized in March 1837. In her autobiography, she noted that her siblings were “greatly mortified” at her choice and that as long as she lived at home, she “had to endure their persecutions.”2 Although she was the only member of her immediate family to join the Church, there was a small group of Latter-day Saints living nearby. She visited Kirtland that summer and received a patriarchal blessing from Joseph Smith Sr. in April 1838.3
As her fellow Saints planned to gather to Missouri in 1838, Cyrena felt determined to join them. This caused further tension with her family and was a “severe blow” for her father. He had been sympathetic toward the Church but could not bear the thought of her leaving. She recounted that “when he found that I was determined to go, he requested me to leave home immediately, that he might become reconciled to the separation before I left entirely.” However, she felt that “his real motive was a hope that I might become so homesick that I would give up the idea of going with the Saints and return home again to stay.” Unable to remain in her family home, she relied on the kindness of a neighbor and fellow Latter-day Saint, Alexander Stanley, who took her in and “was like a father” to her.4
Before the Saints left Ohio, Cyrena returned to her parents’ home to say goodbye. Her parents tearfully begged her to stay. When that failed to change her mind, her father threatened to have her “arrested and brought back by a process of law.”5 Despite her family’s pleas, Cyrena remained determined to go and bore her testimony of the truth of the gospel before leaving.
Cyrena felt that there was a larger purpose in her joining the Church and moving to Zion. Yet moving to Missouri meant leaving her family. She would not see most of her family again, but she trusted that the restored gospel would offer salvation and eternal connections. She wrote in her autobiography, “I was strongly impressed that my going was not only for my own salvation, but for that of the family also.” It was not until years later in Nauvoo when she learned about baptisms for the dead and the ability to do proxy work for her family. She recalled, “It was a source of great satisfaction to me to know that I stood in a position to do a work for them which would give them the privilege of accepting in the spirit world the gospel, which was neglected in this.”6
Although Cyrena feared setting off on her own, she trusted in the Lord and His promises. She soon found that her new religious community, her fellow Saints, cared for her as if she were part of their families. Because she lived in Alexander Stanley’s home for a short time, she was able to set out with his company for Far West, Missouri.
During the trip, Cyrena fell gravely ill and spent much of her time lying sick in a wagon. She wrote, “I shall ever remember how kind and good the sisters and brethren were to me during that long ride from New Portage, Ohio, to the Missouri River. They gave me every attention that could be given under the circumstances, many times sacrificing their own comfort for mine.”7 Although some felt she would not recover, Cyrena held on to her faith and the promise of her patriarchal blessing that she would go to Zion. She survived the journey, reaching Far West in the fall of 1838, and her health continued to improve.
While in Missouri she worked as a domestic servant for an older couple who felt she should return to her family in Ohio. They generously offered to pay for her return trip, but Cyrena declined, noting in her autobiography, “My faith in the gospel was strong and I never had any desire to give up our religion or leave the Saints.”8
After traveling with the Saints to Illinois, Cyrena again had the opportunity to return home. She wrote a letter to her parents informing them of her improved health and the trials she had endured in Missouri. They urged her to come back, offering to send money and one of her brothers to accompany her. But Cyrena told them, “I would live and die with the Latter-day Saints.”9
In Nauvoo, Illinois, she helped care for the Saints who were sick with malaria. She nursed the family of Stephen and Hannah Markham, who insisted that Cyrena stay with them. While living in the Markhams’ home, she met her future husband, Philemon C. Merrill. They were married in September 1840. They had two children, a daughter and a son, before they were forced to leave Nauvoo in 1846. Although the couple experienced much together, including participating in plural marriage, Cyrena wrote that she had “lived in perfect harmony” with her husband for 57 years.10
Cyrena Dustin Merrill was a stalwart Saint who held firm to her testimony of the gospel as she crossed the Plains to come to the Salt Lake Valley in 1849. Despite the hardships, she rejoiced in coming to Utah, writing, “Now we were really going to Zion. … Our hearts were filled with gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His love and protecting care.”11 As directed by Church leaders, she and her husband helped establish communities in Utah, Idaho, and Arizona.
Her trials were many—she endured illness, the deaths of her children and dear friends, periods of drought and poverty—but through it all, she relied on the Lord and trusted in His direction.