“Four Ways to Improve Family Councils,” Liahona, June 2021
Four Ways to Improve Family Councils
How can you work together as a family to solve problems and find greater harmony?
Illustration by David Green
A lot happens in families. Kids get sick. Repairs need to be done. Work, activities, and church all compete for your time. It can be overwhelming!
So how do you bring your family closer with all that’s going on?
Thankfully, Heavenly Father has given us a pattern for family life and communication called family councils. Here are four ways to make them work for your family.
1. Councils Are Conversations, Not Lectures
President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, taught: “Family councils have always been needed. They are, in fact, eternal. We belonged to a family council in the premortal existence, when we lived with our heavenly parents as their spirit children.”1
Our family councils are modeled after this heavenly council. Mothers and fathers counsel together and with their children. Single adults may counsel with trusted family and friends. Counseling is a set of principles that will bring more problem-solving power into your home. You might be thinking, “How am I going to do that with my kids? They’re not really interested in hearing what I have to say.”
If you approach a family council like a lecture, you’ll miss its full potential. But a joyful atmosphere can be created when everyone feels like they are part of the solution.
2. Councils Create Connection
Connecting regularly in councils will help you see what’s really going on with each family member. Everyone ought to be involved in helping to create proactive solutions and in setting their own goals. As families collaborate in making decisions, individuals will thrive, and the family will become more unified as a whole.
“The Beginner’s Guide to Family Councils”3 suggests questions you can use to talk about what’s most important.
Some councils may be planned, while others could happen naturally. Decide what works best for your family.
3. You Can Celebrate and Collaborate
Family councils aren’t just about solving serious problems. What if your wife recently received a promotion at work? You could celebrate her accomplishment at your next family council. Maybe your family is developing a habit of expressing gratitude. Have everyone take turns expressing something they’re grateful for.
Make family councils something everyone looks forward to. If each family member, down to the littlest one, knows they will be heard and valued they’ll be glad to participate.
4. Less Wi-Fi Means More You and I
Consider having everyone put their digital devices aside during councils. When you talk face-to-face with children without any distractions, they will feel valued. Praying with and for one another will invite the Spirit into your home. No one needs to solve problems alone. You’re setting the example to seek God’s help when things get tough.
If you already hold family councils, think of ways to improve. If you aren’t holding them yet, today might be the perfect day to try. Start small, and watch as family councils develop into a joyful occasion where family members learn from and support one another.
In an interview with the Church magazines, parents share how they involve Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in raising their children.