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Experiencing Peace in Placing My Birth Son for Adoption
The author lives in Idaho, USA.
When I acted out of love for my son, the Spirit helped me know what to do.
When I became pregnant after being sexually assaulted by someone I knew, my life changed forever.
I was, of course, totally unprepared. This was the most traumatizing time of my life. I felt alone and confused, and I blamed myself for my situation.
But through all my confusion and doubt, I had one clear thought: I wanted the best for my baby. The decisions didn’t revolve around finances for me. I wanted him to grow up with a deep knowledge of what real love looked like in a relationship. I wanted him to know that he was wonderful and deserved wonderful things.
So I turned to Heavenly Father. I didn’t know for sure what was best for my baby, but I felt that the only way I could find out was to ask.
Seeking the Right Path for My Son
When I prayed and asked about taking the adoption route, peace and joy washed over me before I even finished my prayer. I looked through pictures of potential families that I could place my son with, and when I saw one family in particular, that same peace and joy came back to me. I knew that although great tragedy had caused my circumstances, both my son and I could have happy futures.
I was blessed to know so quickly that placing my son with an adoptive couple was right for me and for him, but it still wasn’t easy. The truth is that although single expectant mothers and fathers have many choices, every choice is going to be hard. I believe that one of the best ways to find comfort in this situation is to gain spiritual confirmation that the path you’re taking is the right path. If I hadn’t known for sure that this was what Heavenly Father had wanted me to do, it would’ve been so much harder.
It sounds impossible to say that I felt prepared for the day that my baby was born and I placed him into the arms of the mother who would raise him, but it’s true. Although it was an incredibly emotional and difficult moment, I felt the Lord strengthening me and comforting me. I knew that this family would bless my child with their pure love.
Feeling Peace about My Decision
While I’m not part of my son’s everyday life, both his parents and I have chosen to maintain an open adoption. I’ve come to see them as angels. They send me regular updates, and they’re open and honest with their son about who I am and where he came from. They’ve shown him immense love, just like I always wanted for him.
This was an incredibly difficult experience, but it came with unexpected blessings. I truly believe that it’s because of my son’s parents that I was able to find my husband. Seeing their love and connection helped me realize what I wanted in a marriage, so when the right man came into my life, I was able to recognize the happiness we could have together and that we’ve since established.
Naturally, knowing that I had an open adoption was an adjustment for my husband when we were dating and even after we married. Deciding to place for adoption was a choice I had made, but my son and my future husband hadn’t made that choice. With my son and his family and also with my husband, communication about our relationships surrounding the adoption has been so important.
I am constantly amazed at the Savior’s ability to give us peace (see John 14:27). Even now, nearly 10 years later, I feel peace about my decision. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ helped me find the right path for me and my son, and I know that They are willing to help us when we are truly trying to do the right thing.