Skill Practice 7
Respond to Feelings of Inadequacy
It can be normal to feel inadequate when we experience new or challenging situations. Focusing on what we can control is a way to help us overcome feelings of inadequacy.
Discussion leader: Strive to be brief in the “Define” and “Demonstrate” sections so learners have plenty of time for practice.
Define
Discussion leader: Explain that when doing new things, it is normal to feel inadequate. You could give an example from your own life when you felt inadequate.
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What is a recent situation that led you to feel inadequate?
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What did you do that was helpful or unhelpful?
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Why is it important to rely on the Lord when we feel inadequate? (see Philippians 4:13; Alma 26:12)
Discussion leader: Read the following paragraph together. (You could also invite learners to find and highlight this paragraph on page 32 of Adjusting to Missionary Life.)
Don’t try to control what you can’t. Trying to control things you cannot control only makes you feel more out of control, increasing your anxiety. Focus your energy on things you can do something about. (Adjusting to Missionary Life [2013], 32)
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How do you think focusing on what we can control can help us overcome feelings of inadequacy?
Demonstrate
Discussion leader: To help class members learn how to focus on what they can control, go through the following examples together.
You could discuss why the examples in the left column would be beyond a person’s control. Before sharing the answers in the right column, invite learners to see if they can think of answers on their own.
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Can’t control |
Can Control |
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“I want to be a good person, but I often feel frustrated because of my mistakes.” |
“I can do my best and recognize that sometimes I fall short. Through daily repentance and the Savior’s help, I can gradually become more Christlike.” |
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“I don’t know if I will ever be able to speak the language as well as my companion.” |
“I can diligently study the language every day and prayerfully seek God’s help.” |
Practice
Discussion leader: Display the following additional examples and give class members time to practice with partners. Learners could also think of different examples than the ones provided.
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Can’t control |
Can control |
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“I don’t have as many friends as other people.” | |
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“Thinking about serving a mission feels overwhelming to me. It seems like hard work, I will miss my family and friends, and there are so many unknowns.” | |
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“Other missionaries have helped more people get baptized than I have. I wonder if my mission has been unsuccessful.” |
Apply
Discussion leader: Help learners think about how they can apply this skill to their lives by sharing the following invitation:
Throughout the next week, take time to notice when you may be feeling inadequate. Then, ask for Heavenly Father to help you focus on what you can control.