Ko e hā ʻoku totonu ke u fai kapau ne ngaohikovia ʻeku tamá?

Mahalo te ke foua ha ngaahi ongo kehekehe ʻi hono ʻiloʻi ne ngaohikovia hoʻo tamá, kau ai e moʻutāfuʻuá, taʻetui ki aí, ʻita, mo e loto mamahi. ‘Oku angamaheni ke ongoʻi faingataʻaʻia fekauʻaki mo e tokotaha ʻoku fiemaʻu ke tukutaha ki ai e tokangá, tautautefito kapau ne ngaohikovia hoʻo tamá ʻe ha mēmipa pē ʻe taha ʻo e fāmilí. ‘E malava pē ke fakamafasia ʻa e feinga ko ia ke ʻiloʻi ʻa e founga ke tokoniʻi ai ʻa e fiemaʻu ʻa e tokotaha kotoa pē. Ko hoʻo ʻuluaki fatongia mahuʻinga tahá ke tokangaʻi e ngaahi fiemaʻu ʻa e fānau ne ngāohikoviá. Ko hono uá ko hoʻo kumi ki ha tokoni maʻau mo ho fāmilí. Kapau ko e taha faihalá ko e taha pē ‘o hoʻo fānaú, ʻe fie maʻu mo ha tokoni maʻá na.

Manatuʻi ke aleaʻi ʻi he lotu mo e Tamai Hēvaní pea fekumi ki he tokoni ʻa e Fakamoʻuí, ʻo fakafou ʻi Heʻene Fakaleleí. ʻOku fakaafeʻi kitautolu ʻe he ʻEikí ke tau haʻu kiate Ia ʻo tatau ai pē ko e ha hotau ngaahi tūkungá.

“Haʻu kiate au ʻa kimoutolu kotoa pē ʻoku feinga mo mafasiá, pea te u foaki ʻa e fiemālié kiate kimoutolu.

“Toʻo ʻeku haʻamongá kiate kimoutolu, pea mou ako ʻiate au; he ʻoku ou angavaivai mo angamalū: pea te mou ʻilo ai ʻa e fiemālié ki homou laumālié.

“He ʻoku faingofua pē ʻeku haʻamongá, pea ʻoku maʻamaʻa ʻeku kavengá” (\Mātiu 11:28–30).

Ngaahi Fiemaʻu ʻa Hoʻo Tamá

ʻE hā ngali sai pē ʻa e fānau ne ngaohikoviá—pea ʻe tokolahi ha niʻihi te nau pehē ʻoku nau sai pē. ʻE lava pē ke nau fakaʻalinga ʻo hangē ʻoku ʻikai uesia kinautolu ʻe he ngaohikoviá. ʻE ʻi ai ha ngaahi ʻuhinga kehekehe ʻe ʻikai fiemaʻu ai ʻe he fānaú ke fakamatalaʻi honau ngaohikoviá. Mahalo ʻe kau ai e ongoʻi maá, fakaʻehiʻehi mei he ongoʻi mamahi pe faingātaʻaʻiá, ilifia naʻa nau tō ki ha faingataʻa, manavahē ki he tokotaha naʻá ne fai e ngaohikoviá, ilifia naʻa tō ai ha kakai kehe ki ha faingataʻa, ʻikai ha mahino ki he meʻa naʻe hokó pe ʻoku lolotonga hokó, pea ʻikai lava ke fakamatala ngutu e meʻa naʻe hokó. ‘Oku mahuʻinga foki ke ʻiloʻi kapau ko e tokotaha faihalá ko ha tokotaha ʻoku nau ʻiloʻi pea mo ʻofa ai, mahalo naʻa fiemaʻu ʻe he fānaú ke nau maluʻi e tokotaha faihalá mei he ngaahi nunuʻá. Tatau ai pē pe ko e hā e loto hoʻo tamá ‘oku mahuʻinga ke fai e ngaahi meʻá ni ʻi hoʻo ʻiloʻi pē e ngaohikovia:

1. Fai ha ngaahi meʻa ke maluʻi e fānaú mei ha toe ngaohikovia.

2. Lipooti ki he kau maʻu mafai fakapuleʻangá ‘a e ngaohikovia. Mateuteu ke vahevahe ‘a e fakamatala fekauʻaki mo e tokotaha faihalá, mo hoʻo kiʻi fānaú, mo e faʻahinga fakamatala pē kuó ke maʻu fekauʻaki mo e ngaohikoviá. ‘Oku angamaheni pē ke ʻikai maʻu e tali ki he ngaahi fehuʻi kotoa ʻe ʻeke atu kiate koe lolotonga e fakaʻekeʻeké. Ngāue fakataha mo e kau maʻu mafai fakapuleʻangá pea tala e lahi taha ʻo e meʻa ʻokú ke ʻiló. ‘E tokoni ʻeni ke tauhi ‘a e fānaú ke malu.

3. Kapau ne ngaohikovia ha fānau ‘e ha mēmipa pē ʻe taha ʻo e fāmilí (hangē ko ha tokoua pe matuʻa), mahalo ko e lelei tahá ko hono fakamavahe ʻo e tokotaha faihalá mei ʻapi.

‘E fie maʻu ʻe hoʻo tama kuo ngaohikoviá ha poupou, mahino, mo ha ʻiloʻi pau ʻe maluʻi kinautolu. Talanoa mo hoʻo tamá fekauʻaki mo e meʻa ʻe lava ke tokoniʻi ai ia ke ne ongoʻi malu pea ʻoange kiate ia ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ko iá ʻi he lahi taha ʻe ala lavá. ‘E lava ke tokoni atu e kau taki ʻo e Siasí, kau maʻu mafai fakapuleʻangá mo e kau fai faleʻi fakapalōfesinalé ke faʻu ha ngaahi founga maluʻi ʻoku feʻungá.

Fakapapauʻi ki he fānaú ʻoku ʻikai ko hono foʻui ʻa hono ngaohikoviá; ʻoku ʻikai ko haʻane faiangahala, pea ʻoku ʻikai fie maʻu ke ne fakatomala. Tokoni ke ne ʻiloʻi ʻokú ne maʻu ha tokoni pea mo ha poupou. Kapau ‘e lava, ʻave hoʻo kiʻi tamá ki ha fai faleʻi fakapalōfesinale ‘okú ne maʻu ʻa e taukei ʻi he ngāue mo e ngaohikovia ‘o e fanaú. ‘E malava ʻe he tokotaha faifaleʻí ke fakafuofuaʻi e lahi hono uesia ʻe he ngaohikoviá hoʻo tamá, pea ʻoatu mo e faleʻi ki he founga ke tokoniʻi ai kinautolu ke nau fakaakeaké.

Ko e Maʻu Ha Tokoni Maʻau mo Ho Fāmilí.

Manatuʻi, ‘oku ʻikai ke ke haʻisia kapau ko e ngāohikoviá naʻe fakahoko ia ʻe ha taha kehe; ko e tokotaha pē ʻoku haʻisiá ko e tokotaha faihalá. ʻE lava ke maʻu ʻe he matuʻá pea mo e kau mēmipa kehe ʻo e fāmili ʻo e fānau ne ngaohikoviá ha lelei mei he faleʻi fakapalōfesinalé. Te ke toe lava foki ʻo maʻu ʻa e tokoni fakalaumālie mo fakaeloto mei he kau taki ʻo e Siasí. Fakapapauʻi ʻokú ke tuku ha taimi ke fakafonu fakalaumālie, fakaeloto, fakasōsiale, fakaesino, mo fakaʻatamai foki.

Angaʻofa kiate koe pea ki he kau mēmipa ho fāmilí. ʻE lava ke hanga ʻe he ʻiloʻi ko ia hono ngaohikovia hoʻo tamá ʻo fakafeʻātungiaʻi e ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki fakafāmilí. Hokohoko atu e ngaahi ʻekitivitī ʻokú nau langaki e feohi ʻa e mēmipa kotoa ʻo e fāmilí. ‘Oku angamaheni pē ke ongoʻi ʻe he mātuʻá he ʻikai ke toe foki e ngaahi tōʻongá ki he angamahení. ʻE fie maʻu pē ha taimi, kae ʻoua ʻaupito ʻe mole e ʻamanakí. ʻE malava ke tokoniʻi koe ʻe he Fakamoʻui ko Sīsū Kalaisí, ʻo fakafou ʻi Heʻene Fakaleleí.

Kapau ko e taha faihalá ko e mēmipa ho fāmilí, mahalo ʻe fie maʻu ke fakakaukauʻi ke fakamavaheʻi ia mei ʻapi. Neongo ‘oku ongo ʻeni ʻo hangē ko hano fakamoveteʻi e fāmilí, ko e fakamavahé ni ko e konga mahuʻinga ia te ne lava ke taki ki he fakamoʻui e tokotaha kotoa pē ne kau he meʻá ni. ‘I ha ngaahi tūkunga ʻe niʻihi, ʻe malava ke toe fakatahaʻi e fāmilí ʻo fakafou ʻi ha tokoni mei he kau maʻu mafai fakapuleʻangá pea mo e kau fai faleʻi fakapalōfesinalé. ʻI ha ngaahi tūkunga kehe, mahalo ʻe ʻikai faleʻi atu ke toe fakatahaʻi e fāmilí.

Ngaahi Maʻuʻanga Tokoni mei he Koló mo e Siasí

(Konga e niʻihi e ngaahi maʻutokoni ʻoku hiki atu ʻi laló ʻoku ʻikai ke faʻu, tokangaʻi, pe puleʻi ʻe he Siasi ʻo Sīsū Kalaisi ʻo e Kau Māʻoniʻoni ʻi he Ngaahi ʻAho Kimui Ní. Neongo ʻoku fakataumuʻa e naunau ko ʻení ke hoko ko ha toe maʻuʻanga tokoni, ka ʻoku ʻikai poupouʻi ʻe he Siasí ha fakamatala ʻoku ʻikai fenāpasi mo hono ngaahi tokāteliné mo e ngaahi akonakí.)

• “ Ko e Hā e ʻUhinga ʻe Fakamamahiʻi Fakasekisuale ai ʻe ha Leka ha Leka Kehe?,” Taʻofi Ia He Taimí Ni!

• “Tokoni ki he Ngaahi Mātuʻa ʻa e Fānau Ne Ngaohikovia Fakasekisuale ʻe ha Mēmipa ʻo e Fāmilí,” Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)

• “Ko e Meʻa ke Fai Kapau ʻOku Fakahā Atu ʻe Hoʻo Tamá Ha Ngaohikovia Fakasekisuale: Fakahinohino ki he Ngaahi Mātuʻá mo e Tauhi Fānaú,” National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)

• “Fefaʻuhi mo e Moʻutāfuʻua ʻi he Ngaohikovia Fakasekisuale ʻi he Lotoʻi Fāmilí: Fakamatala ki he Ngaahi Mātuʻá mo e Kau Tauhi Fānaú,” National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)

Ngaahi Fakamatala Fekauʻaki

• Talanoa ki he Fānaú fekauʻaki mo e Ngaohikoviá

• Ko e hā ha ngaahi fakaʻilonga ʻoku ngaohikovia ha taha?

• Ko e hā ʻoku totonu ke u fai kapau ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi pe mahamahalo ʻoku ʻi ai ha taha ʻoku ngaohikovia?