“Ko e hā ʻoku totonu ke u fakahoko ʻi heʻeku ʻilo kuo sio ʻeku tamá ki he ponokalafí?” Tokoni maʻá e Ngaahi Mātuʻá (2021).
“Ko e hā ʻoku totonu ke u fakahoko ʻi heʻeku ʻilo kuo sio ʻeku tamá ki he ponokalafí?” Tokoni maʻá e Ngaahi Mātuʻá
Ko e hā ʻoku totonu ke u fakahoko ʻi heʻeku ʻilo kuo sio ʻeku tamá ki he ponokalafí?
Kapau te ke ʻilo kuo sio hoʻo tamá ʻi he ponokalafí, ʻoku totonu ke ke muimui ʻi he sīpinga ʻa e Tamai Hēvaní ki he tuʻunga fakaemātuʻá. ʻE ʻi ai ha fānau ʻe niʻihi he ʻikai ke nau tala ki heʻenau mātuʻá ʻi he taimi kuo nau sio ai ʻi he ponokalafí, ka ʻe fie talanoa ki ai ha niʻihi. Kapau ʻe ongoʻi ʻe he fānaú ʻoku nau malu mo poupouʻi kinautolu, ʻe ala malava ange ke nau vahevahe ʻenau ngaahi ongó mo e ngaahi aʻusiá.
ʻI he taimi lahi ko e faʻa vakai e fānaú ki he ponokalafí, ʻoku nau fai ia ke feau ha ngaahi fiemaʻu pau. ʻOku makehe mo pau ʻa e ngaahi fiemaʻu ko ʻení ki he fānau takitaha ka ʻe lava ke kau ai ha fieʻilo fakasekisuale pe ko ha holi ke tohoakiʻi e tokangá mei he loto-hohaʻá mo e loto-mafasiá. ʻI hoʻo feinga ke mahino kiate koe e ngaahi fiemaʻu fakafoʻituitui hoʻo tamá, te ke lava ʻo tokoniʻi ia ke ʻilo ha ngaahi founga ke feau ʻaki e ngaahi fiemaʻu ko iá ʻi ha ngaahi founga ʻoku leleí. ʻE lava foki ke hoko ʻeni ko ha taimi lelei ke fakamālohia ai e ngaahi akonaki fekauʻaki mo e fatongia ʻo e tōʻonga fakasekisuale ʻoku leleí mo e founga ʻoku fakaʻaliʻali ai ʻe he ponokalafí ʻa e fakamatala loi fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki fakasekisualé. ʻE ala fie maʻu ʻe he ngaahi faʻahinga fepōtalanoaʻaki ko ʻení ha ngaahi taukei foʻou ʻi heʻete hoko ko ha mātuʻá, hangē ko e fai ha ngaahi fehuʻi ʻi ha founga kehe mo tuku ha taimi ke fakafanongo aí. Te ke lava foki ʻo fakaʻaongaʻi ha ngaahi tūkunga ʻokú ke fehangahangai mo ia ʻi he moʻui fakaʻahó ke aleaʻi ʻa e tōʻonga fakasekisuale ʻoku leleí. ʻE tokoni ke aleaʻi e ngaahi tefito ko ʻení ʻi ha ʻātakai ʻoku nonga mo ʻofa kae ʻikai fakamālohiʻi pe fakakikihi.
Ngaahi Fakakaukau Lahi Ange
Fakakaukau ki hoʻo ngaahi ongo pē ʻa koé fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé mo e ponokalafí. Te ke fakamatalaʻi fēfē ha ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ke hohaʻa ki ai fekauʻaki mo hono aleaʻi e ngaahi tefito ko ʻení kimuʻa peá ke toki talanoa ki hoʻo fānaú?
Feinga ke mahino kiate koe ʻa e faikehekehe ʻi he ongoʻi maá mo e ongoʻi halaiá mo e founga ke ʻiloʻi mo fakamatalaʻi ʻa e faikehekehe ko iá (vakai, “ʻOku ʻIkai ko ha Angahala ʻa e Vaivaí”1 mo e “How Do I Help My Child Understand the Difference between Shame and Guilt?”).
Feinga ke ʻiloʻi ha ngaahi sīpinga ʻo e fetuʻutaki leleí ʻe lava ke fakatupulaki ʻi homou fāmilí. Hangē ko ʻení, te ke lava nai ʻo fetuʻutaki mata ki he mata, fai ha ngaahi fehuʻi ueʻi fakalaumālie, pe fakakaukauloto lahi ange pea siʻisiʻi ange hoʻo feinga tali fakafoki ʻi he taimi fakafanongó? ʻE founga fēfē haʻo fakaleleiʻi hoʻo fetuʻutaki mo hoʻo tamá? (Vakai, “Ko e Fetuʻutaki ʻi he ʻOfá.”)2
Ngaahi Maʻuʻanga Tokoni ʻa e Siasí mo e Koló
Ko e niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni ʻoku lisi atu ʻi laló ʻoku ʻikai faʻu, tauhi, pe puleʻi ia ʻe he Siasi ʻo Sīsū Kalaisi ʻo e Kau Māʻoniʻoni ʻi he Ngaahi ʻAho Kimui Ní. Neongo ʻoku fakataumuʻa e ngaahi naunau ko ʻení ke hoko ko ha toe maʻuʻanga tokoni, ka ʻoku ʻikai poupouʻi ʻe he Siasí ha fakamatala ʻoku ʻikai fenāpasi mo hono ngaahi tokāteliné mo e ngaahi akonakí.