fāmili ‘oku nau luelue ʻi tuʻa

Te u talanoa fēfē ki heʻeku tamá fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisuale ʻoku leleí?

ʻOku ongoʻi momou pe mā e ngaahi mātuʻa tokolahi ke talanoa ki heʻenau fānaú fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé, pe ʻoku nau manavasiʻi ʻe hanga ʻe he talanoa ki heʻenau fānaú fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé ʻo fakaake honau ʻulungaanga fakasekisualé. Ko hono moʻoní, kapau he ʻikai ke ke talanoa ki hoʻo fānaú fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé, te nau ako ki ai ʻi ha founga kehe. ʻI hoʻo talanoa maʻu pē mo hoʻo fānaú fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi tefito mahuʻinga hangē ko e tōʻonga fakasekisuale ʻoku leleí, ʻokú ke tokoni ai ke mahino kiate kinautolu ko e tokotaha falalaʻanga koe ke nau haʻu ki ai.

Ko e tokolahi taha ʻo e fānaú ʻoku fakanatula pē ʻenau fie ʻiló, pea ʻoku nau fie maʻu ke mahino kiate kinautolu ʻa e ngaahi ongo fakanatula kuo foaki mai mei he ʻOtuá ʻa ia ʻoku nau aʻusiá. Te ke lava ʻo teuteuʻi koe ke ke talanoa mo hoʻo fānaú fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé ʻaki haʻo manatu ki he aʻusia naʻá ke maʻu ʻi he taʻu motuʻa ʻoku nau ʻi aí. Ko e hā ha ngaahi ongo ʻe niʻihi naʻá ke ʻausiá? Ko e hā ha ngaahi fakakaukau, ngaahi fehuʻi, pe ngaahi hohaʻa naʻá ke maʻu? Naʻá ke fekumi ki fē ke maʻu ha fakamatalá? Ko e hā e meʻa ʻokú ke fakaʻamu naʻá ke fanongo pe ako fekauʻaki mo iá?

ʻOku sai pē kapau ʻokú ke ongoʻi taʻepauʻia fekauʻaki mo e founga lelei taha ke fakahoko ʻaki e ngaahi fepōtalanoaʻaki ko ʻení. Te ke lava ʻo fakaʻaongaʻi hoʻo tuʻunga laveangofuá ke fakatupulaki hoʻo vā fetuʻutaki mo hoʻo fānaú. ʻE lava ke ongoʻi ʻe he fānaú hoʻo ʻofá ʻi hoʻo faitotonu mo fakamātoato ʻi he fetuʻutaki mo kinautolú, neongo ha faʻahinga ongoʻi taʻefiemālie ʻokú ke maʻu.

Ke tanumaki ʻa e fetuʻutaki tauʻatāiná, te ke lava ʻo:

• Kamata ʻi he kei iiki hoʻo fānaú ʻaki hono ui e ngaahi kongokonga ʻo e sinó ʻaki honau hingoa totonú. ʻOku akoʻi heni ki he fānaú fekauʻaki mo honau sinó pea ʻoku nau maʻu ai ʻa e lea ʻoku nau fie maʻu ke moʻui lelei mo ʻilo lahi aí.

• ʻAi ke ʻiloʻi ʻe hoʻo fānaú ʻe lava ke nau ʻeke atu ha faʻahinga fehuʻi pē, pea feinga leva ke ʻoua naʻá ke ʻita pe fakamaaʻi kinautolu ʻi heʻenau fehuʻí pe vetehiá. Fiefia ʻi heʻenau talanoa atu kiate koé, fakahaaʻi hoʻo ʻofá mo e tokoní, pea fai ho lelei tahá ke ke talanoa maʻu pē mo kinautolu.

• Fakaʻehiʻehi mei hono ngāue ʻaki ʻa e heliakí ki he tōʻonga fakasekisualé. ʻOku fie maʻu ʻe he fānaú ke fakahaaʻi ange ʻa e fakamatalá ʻi ha founga mahino mo totonu. Hangē ko ʻení, ʻoku fakamatala ha toʻu tupu ʻe niʻihi ki ha ngaahi lēsoni ʻa ia ʻoku fakahoa ai ʻa hono maumauʻi ʻo e fono ʻo e angamaʻá ki ha pululole kuo ʻosi kai pe meʻakai ʻoku paasi takai holo ʻi he lokí pea ʻikai ai ke toe fiemaʻua. Neongo ʻoku ʻuhinga lelei pē, ka ʻoku faʻa fakatupu ʻe he ngaahi heliaki pehení ʻa e manavahē ki he tōʻonga fakasekisualé pe ongoʻi maʻulalo pe ʻikai lava ke toe fakaleleiʻi hoto mahuʻinga fakatāutahá.

• Fakahoko ha ngaahi lēsoni fakafāmili ʻi he ngaahi tefito ʻoku fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé pea tuku ki hoʻo fānaú ke nau faiako ʻi he taimi te nau ongoʻi mateuteu aí. ʻE lava ke kau ʻi he ngaahi tefitó ʻa e matuʻotuʻa fakatuʻasinó, fōtunga ʻo e sinó, mo e ngaahi tafaʻaki ʻo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé ʻoku leleí.

• Aleaʻi e founga ʻoku fakanatula ai e aʻusia ʻo e ngaahi ongo mo e ueʻi fakasekisualé. ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ke talangofua ʻa e fānaú ki he ngaahi ongo mo e ueʻi ko iá ka ʻe lava ke nau tokanga ki ai. ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻeni ke nau fakatokangaʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongo fakasekisualé kae ʻoua te nau fakamaauʻi hala ia. Kuo fakahā ʻe he fakatotoló ko hono akoako fakahoko ʻa e faʻa tokangá ʻe ala tokoni ia ki he fānaú ke nau fai ha ngaahi fili ʻoku lelei angé ʻa ia ʻoku faitatau mo honau tuʻunga ʻulungāngá mo e taumuʻá.

• Feinga ke ʻoua naʻá ke fakafeangai ʻi he fakaliliʻa pe ʻita ʻi hano fakahaaʻi atu ʻe he fānaú pe toʻu tupú ʻoku nau ala (masturbate) pē kiate kinautolú. ʻOku hanga ʻe he fakafeangai ʻa e ngaahi mātuʻá ki he ngaahi ʻulungaanga ko ʻení ʻo uesia e ongo ʻoku maʻu ʻe he fānaú mo e toʻu tupú kiate kinautolu peé mo ʻenau tōʻonga fakasekisualé.

• Akoʻi ki hoʻo fānaú ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻo e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻulungaanga ʻoku felāveʻi mo e ngaahi vā fetuʻutakí mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé. ʻI hoʻo akoʻi ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻulunganga ko ʻení mo e ngaahi ʻuhinga ʻoku nau mahuʻinga aí, manatuʻi ʻoku mahuʻinga ke fakahoko ia ʻo ʻikai fakatupu ʻa e ongoʻi maá pe ilifiá.¹

Maʻuʻanga Fakamatalá

1. Ngaahi poini mahuʻinga ne fakaʻaongaʻi mo toʻo mei he Laura M. Padilla-Walker mo Meg O. Jankovich, “Foungá, Taimi, mo e ʻUhingá: Talanoa ki Hoʻo Fānaú fekauʻaki mo e Tōʻonga Fakasekisualé,” Liahona, ʻAokosi 2020.