Foungá, Taimí, mo e ʻUhingá: Talanoa ki Hoʻo Fānaú fekauʻaki mo e Tōʻonga Fakasekisualé
Ke tokoniʻi ʻetau fānaú ke nau mateuteu mo fiefia ʻi hono fakaʻofoʻofa mo e fakaofo ʻo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé ʻi he nofo-malí, ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau tataki kinautolu ʻi heʻenau ngāue ke mapuleʻi e ngaahi ongo ne foaki ange ʻe he ʻOtuá.
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Kapau te ke fehuʻi ki he toʻu tupú, “Ko e hā ʻa e fono ʻo e angamaʻá?” mahalo te nau sio fakaʻilonga fehuʻi atu, pe te nau taʻefiemālie mo tali fakatovave ʻo pehē, “ʻOku ʻuhinga ia ke ʻoua naʻa feohi fakasekisuale kimuʻa he malí.” ʻI heʻetau aʻusiá, ʻoku tokolahi ha kakai kei talavou ʻoku ʻikai ke nau feohi fakasekisuale kimuʻa he malí ka ʻoku taʻemahino ʻaupito ʻa e ʻuhinga kakato mo e taumuʻa ʻo e fono ʻo e angamaʻá pe tōʻonga fakasekisualé—ko ha ngaahi maʻu hala ʻoku faʻa iku fakamamahi ki he faingataʻaʻia ʻi he nofo-malí he kahaʻú. ʻOku totonu ko ʻetau taumuʻa ʻi heʻetau hoko ko e ngaahi mātuʻá mo e kau takí ke tokoniʻi ʻetau fānaú ke nau haohaoa mo mateuteu fakasekisuale.
Fakakaukau ki he Tafaʻaki Kotoa ʻo e Fonó
ʻOku ʻaonga mo mahuʻinga ʻa e ngaahi konga fakatuʻasino ʻo e fono ʻo e angamaʻá (hangē ko e fakaʻehiʻehi kimuʻa he malí mo e anganofo kakato ʻi he hili ʻa e malí). Ka ko e taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻoku lahi ange hono aleaʻi ʻo e fakaʻehiʻehí ʻi hono aleaʻi e ngaahi konga fakaeloto mo fakalaumālie ʻo e fiefia mo e fakaʻofoʻofa ʻo e feohi fafale fakasekisuale ʻi he nofo-malí, kae pehē ki he nonga ʻoku maʻu mei he moʻui angamaʻa mo haohaoa kimuʻa pea ʻi he hili ʻa e malí.
Makehe mei he fakatupú, ʻoku ʻi ai ha taumuʻa mahuʻinga ʻe taha ʻo e feohi fafale fakasekisuale ʻi he nofo-malí. Naʻe fakamatala ʻe ʻEletā Tēvita A. Petinā ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá ʻo pehē: “Ko e faʻahinga feohi vāofi fakaesino ko iá ʻoku ʻikai ko ha fie ʻilo pē ki ha meʻa ke ʻahiʻahiʻi, fakafiemālieʻi ha holi, pe ha faʻahinga fakafiefia pe meʻa fakamānako ke tulifua siokita ki ai. ʻOku ʻikai ko ha tau ke ikunaʻi pe ko ha foʻi ngāue pē ke fakahoko. Ka ko e meʻa pē ia ʻe taha ʻi he moʻui fakamatelié ʻokú ne fakahaaʻi ai hotau anga fakalangí mo e meʻa ʻoku tau malavá mo ha founga ke fakamālohia ai e ngaahi haʻi fakaeloto mo fakalaumālie ʻi he vā ʻo e husepānití mo e uaifí.”1
Ke tokoniʻi ʻetau fānaú ke nau mateuteu ke fiefia ʻi he fakaʻofoʻofa mo e fakaofo ʻo e feohi fafale fakasekisuale ʻi he nofo-malí, ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau tokoni ke mahino kiate kinautolu ʻenau fakalakalaka fakasekisualé pea tataki kinautolu ʻi heʻenau ngāue ke mapuleʻi ʻenau ngaahi ongo ne foaki ange ʻe he ʻOtuá.
Kapau ʻokú ke hohaʻa koeʻuhí kuo teʻeki ke ke talanoa mo hoʻo fānaú kau ki he tōʻonga fakasekisualé ʻi ha taimi feʻunga pe ʻi he founga totonú, ʻoku ʻikai ke ke tuenoa. ʻOku ʻi ai ha ngaahi ʻuhinga ʻoku faingataʻa ai ʻa e ngaahi pōtalanoa ko ʻení. Ka neongo ia, ʻoku ʻikai ke teitei tōmui ke kamata leva hono akoʻí. Ko ha ngaahi tokoni ʻeni ʻe tolu ke tokoniʻi koe ke ke kamata:
1. Founga ke Talanoa ai fekauʻaki mo e Tōʻonga Fakasekisualé
Ko ha ʻelemēniti mahuʻinga ʻe taha ʻo e ngaahi talanoa ʻa e mātuʻá mo e fānaú fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé ko hono poupouʻi ha ʻulungaanga tauʻatāina. ʻOku pehē ʻe he fakatotoló ʻoku maʻu ʻe he toʻu tupú ʻa e konga lahi ʻo ʻenau fakamatala fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé mei he mītiá pe toʻú ka ʻoku nau fie maʻu ha fakamatala mei heʻenau mātuʻá.
Ne pehē ʻe Palesiteni M. Lāsolo Pālati, ko e Palesiteni Leʻoleʻo ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá: “ʻI he fakaʻau ke lalahi ʻetau fānaú, ʻoku nau fie maʻu ʻa e fakamatala ne akoʻi fakahangatonu mo mahino ʻe he mātuʻá fekauʻaki mo e meʻa ʻoku tāú mo ʻikai tāú. ʻOku fie maʻu ʻa e mātuʻá ke … talanoa mahino ki [heʻenau fānaú] fekauʻaki mo e feohi fafalé pea mo e akonaki ʻa e ongoongoleleí fekauʻaki mo e angamaʻá. Tuku ke maʻu ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻení ʻi ʻapi mei he mātuʻá ʻi ha founga ʻoku tāú.”2
Ke tanumaki ʻa e fetuʻutaki tauʻatāiná, te ke lava ʻo:
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Kamata ʻi he kei iiki hoʻo fānaú ʻaki hono ui e ngaahi kongokonga ʻo e sinó ʻaki honau hingoa totonú. ʻOku akoʻi heni ki he fānaú fekauʻaki mo honau sino fakaʻofoʻofá pea ʻoku nau maʻu ai ʻa e lea ʻoku fie maʻu ke nau moʻui lelei mo ʻilo lahi aí.
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ʻAi ke ʻiloʻi ʻe hoʻo fānaú ʻe lava ke nau ʻeke atu ha faʻahinga fehuʻi pē, pea feinga leva ke ʻoua naʻá ke ʻita pe fakamaaʻi kinautolu ʻi heʻenau fehuʻí pe vetehiá. Fiefia ʻi heʻenau talanoa atu kiate koé, fakahaaʻi hoʻo ʻofá mo e tokoní, pea fai hoʻo lelei tahá ke ke ʻatā maʻu pē ke talanoa mo kinautolu.
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Fakaʻehiʻehi mei hono ngāue ʻaki ʻa e heliakí ki he tōʻonga fakasekisualé. ʻOku fie maʻu ʻe he fānaú ke fakahaaʻi ange ʻa e fakamatalá ʻi ha founga mahino mo totonu. Hangē ko ʻení, ʻoku fakamatala ha toʻu tupu ʻe niʻihi ki ha ngaahi lēsoni ʻa ia ʻoku fakahoa ai ʻa hono maumauʻi ʻo e fono ʻo e angamaʻá ki ha pululole kuo ʻosi kai pe meʻakai ʻoku paasi takai holo ʻi he lokí pea ʻikai ai ke toe fie maʻu. Neongo ne ʻuhinga lelei pē, ka ʻoku faʻa fakatupu ʻe he faʻahinga heliaki pehení ʻa e manavahē ki he tōʻonga fakasekisualé, pe ongoʻi maʻulalo pe ʻikai lava ke toe fakaleleiʻi hoto mahuʻinga fakatāutahá, ʻo uesia ai e ʻamanaki lelei mo e nonga ʻoku maʻu mei he fakatomala moʻoní.
2. Taimi ke Talanoa ai fekauʻaki mo e Tōʻonga Fakasekisualé
ʻOku tokolahi e mātuʻa ʻoku nau talanoa tuʻo taha pē mo ʻenau fānaú fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé. Ka ko e ngaahi pōpoaki hala ʻoku maʻu ʻe he toʻu tupú mei he māmaní he ʻaho ní—ko e taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻoku fakaʻaho pē—ʻoku fie maʻu ai ʻe he fānaú ke toe lahi ange ʻenau talanoa mo e mātuʻá.3 ʻOku ʻaonga lahi taha ki he fānaú ha founga longomoʻui ʻa ia ʻoku tomuʻa ʻiloʻi ai ʻe he mātuʻá ʻa e faingataʻa ʻe aʻusia ʻe he fānaú fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé pea teuteuʻi kinautolu ʻaki e ngaahi founga ʻe ala tokoní.
ʻI ha lea ʻa Sisitā Soi D. Sōnasi ko e Palesiteni Lahi ʻo e Palaimelí, fekauʻaki mo e malava ke ʻilo ki he ponokalafí, naʻá ne pehē: “ʻOku sai ange ke fealeaʻaki ʻi he kamataʻangá, pea ʻe mateuteu ange ai e fānaú ke nau talanoa mo kitautolu ʻi he taimi ʻoku nau ʻiloʻi ai ʻoku ʻofaʻi kinautolú pea he ʻikai ha meʻa te nau lea ʻaki pe fakahoko te ne liliu e ʻofa ko iá. …
“Ngaahi mātuʻa, kuo pau ke tau kamataʻi ʻa e pōtalanoá pea ʻoua naʻa tatali ki he fānaú ke nau haʻu kiate kitautolu. … ʻOku tau fie maʻu ʻa e fānaú ke nau ongoʻi mateuteu mo fakaivia, kae ʻikai ilifia. ʻOku tau fie talanoa mo kinautolu kae ʻikai ko e talanoa fekauʻaki mo kinautolu.”4
Ke toe tokanga angé, te ke lava ʻo:
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Fakahoko ha ngaahi lēsoni fakafāmili ʻi he ngaahi tefito ʻoku fekauʻaki mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé pea tuku ki hoʻo fānaú ke nau faiako ʻi he taimi te nau ongoʻi mateuteu aí. ʻE lava ke kau ʻi he ngaahi tefitó ʻa e matuʻotuʻa fakatuʻasinó, fōtunga ʻo e sinó, ko e ngaahi tafaʻaki ʻo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé ʻoku leleí, ko e fakatuʻutāmaki ʻo e fakaʻaongaʻi e ponokalafí, ko e fakanatula pē ke maʻu ha ngaahi ongo fakasekisualé, mo e alā meʻa pehē.
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Tokoniʻi hoʻo fānaú ke nau fakakaukau ki ha ngaahi founga pau ke tekeʻi ai ʻa e ʻahiʻahí. Hangē ko ʻení, kapau ʻoku fefaʻuhi hoʻo fānaú mo e ngaahi fakakaukau pe tōʻonga ʻulí, mou fakakaukau fakataha ki ha meʻa ke fai ʻi he taimi ʻe hoko mai ai ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukau ko ʻení. Hangē ko ʻení, hivaʻi ha foʻi himi, fakakaukau ki ha potufolofola, lotu, fai ha fakamālohisino, pe tui ha vesa ʻokú ne fakamanatu ange ke nau fili ki he totonú.
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Akoʻi ki he fānaú ʻa e founga ke nau fakaʻehiʻehi ai mei he kakai pāʻusiʻi fakasekisualé pea nau nofo malu. Fakatokangaʻi ange: feinga ke ʻoua naʻa akoʻi ʻa e maluʻí (ʻa ia ʻokú ne faʻa fakatupu ʻa e manavaheé) ʻi he taimi tatau ʻokú ke akoʻi ai e feohi fafale fakasekisuale ʻi he nofo-malí; ʻe malava ke ongoʻi ilifia e fānaú ʻi he tafaʻaki kotoa pē ʻo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé.
3. Talanoa ki he ʻUhinga ʻo e Tōʻonga Fakasekisualé
ʻOku faʻa fie ʻilo ʻe he fānaú ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻoku fakatetuʻa ange ai ke nau fai ha meʻá. Ko e hā ʻoku totonu ke nau tauhi ai e fono ʻo e angamaʻá hili ko iá ʻoku ʻikai tauhi ia ʻe he niʻihi ʻoku nau feohí? Ko e taimi ʻe mahino ai kiate kinautolu ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻo e ngaahi fakatetuʻá, ʻe ngalingali leva ke tō mamafa kiate kinautolu ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻulungaanga ʻo e ongoongoleleí mo e fāmilí. Ko e toʻu tupu ʻoku nau ʻiloʻi ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻoku nau tukupā ai ke tauhi e fono ʻo e angamaʻá ʻoku nau ʻilo ai ko e tukupā ko ʻení “ʻoku ʻikai leva ke kei hoko [ia] ko ha fakamafasia, ka ʻoku hoko ia ko ha fiefia mo [ha] laukauʻanga.”5
Kapau ʻoku tau fie maʻu ʻetau fānaú ke nau tauhi e fono ʻa e ʻOtuá ki he angamaʻá, ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau ʻoange ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻoku mahuʻinga ai ke tauhi ʻa e fono ko ʻení. Kuo pau ke akoʻi ange ko e “tōʻonga fakasekisualé ko ha meʻaʻofa mālohi ia mei he Tamai Hēvaní pea ʻoku totonu ke fakaʻaongaʻi ia ʻi he ngaahi fakangatangata kuó Ne fokotuʻú.”6 Ko hono maʻu ha mahino ki he founga ʻoku tupulaki ai ʻa e “meʻaʻofa mālohi” ko ʻení, ʻe tokoni ia ke fai ʻe he toʻu tupú ha ngaahi fili ʻoku tatau mo ʻenau holi ke tauhi e fono ʻa e ʻOtuá ki he angamaʻá.
ʻI hoʻo aleaʻi mo hoʻo fānaú ʻa e tupulaki fakasekisualé, fakakaukau ki he ngaahi akonaki ko ʻení:
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Ko e tōʻonga fakasekisualé ko ha tuʻunga fakanatula ia ʻo e fānau kotoa pē ʻa e ʻOtuá. ʻOku faʻu kitautolú “ʻi he tatau ʻo e ʻOtuá” (Sēnesi 1:27), ʻa ia ʻoku ʻuhinga ia ko hotau sinó, kau ai hotau ngaahi ʻōkani fakasekisualé, ko ha faʻu fakalangi ia.
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ʻOku fakanatula hono maʻu e ngaahi ongo mo e ueʻi fakasekisualé. ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ke talangofua ʻa e fānaú ki he ngaahi ongo mo e ueʻi ko iá ka ʻe lava ke nau tokanga ki ai. ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻeni ke nau fakatokangaʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongo fakasekisualé kae ʻoua te nau fakamaauʻi hala ia. Kuo fakahā ʻe he fakatotoló ko hono akoako fakahoko ʻa e faʻa tokangá ʻe ala tokoni ia ke tau fai ha ngaahi fili ʻoku lelei angé ʻa ia ʻoku faitatau mo hotau tuʻunga ʻulungāngá mo e taumuʻá, hangē ko hono tauhi e fono ʻo e angamaʻá.
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ʻOku faʻa hoko hono fakatupu e ngaahi ongo fakasekisualé ʻiate kinautolú ko e fuofua aʻusia ia ʻa ha tamasiʻi/taʻahine ʻi he tōʻonga fakasekisualé, pea ʻoku fai ia ʻi he taʻeʻilo. ʻOku aʻu pē ki he fānau īkí ʻa ʻenau fakahehema ke ala pē kiate kinautolú, pea ʻe lava ke hanga ʻe he fakafeangai ʻa e mātuʻá ki he ngaahi tōʻonga ko ʻení ʻo fokotuʻu e ongo ʻoku maʻu ʻe he kakai kei talavoú kiate kinautolu peé mo ʻenau tōʻonga fakasekisualé. ʻOku mahuʻinga ki he mātuʻá ke nau fekumi ke potupotutatau ʻa hono tokoniʻi ke mahino ki he fānaú ʻa e ʻuhinga ki he fekau ʻa e ʻOtuá ko e ʻulungaanga fakasekisualé ʻoku hoko ia ʻi he vā ʻo e nofo-malí, pea mo e ʻikai foki ʻe fakaliliʻa pe ʻita ʻi he taimi ʻoku ala ai ʻa e fānaú kiate kinautolu peé pe ko e tala moʻoni ʻe he toʻu tupú ʻoku nau fakatupu ʻiate kinautolu pē ʻa e ongo fakasekisualé.
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Kapau ʻe mahino ki he fānaú ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻo e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻulungaanga ʻoku felāveʻi mo e vā fetuʻutakí mo e tōʻonga fakasekisualé (ʻo kau ai ʻa e teití, vala tāú, angamaʻá, mo e alā meʻa peheé), ʻe ngalingali te nau vakai ai ki he fakapotopoto ʻi he ngaahi fono ʻa e ʻOtuá pea mo maʻu ʻa e loto-fakapapau ke tauhi kinautolú. ʻI hoʻo akoʻi ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻulungaanga ko ʻení, manatuʻi ʻoku mahuʻinga ke fai ia ʻo ʻikai fakahaaʻi ʻa e ongoʻi mā pe ilifia.
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Fakamamafaʻi ʻa e Mālohi ʻo e Fakalelei ʻa Sīsū Kalaisí
Hangē pē ko e taimi ʻoku akoako lue ai ʻetau fānau valevalé, ʻe lava ke tō mo humu ʻa e toʻu tupú ʻi heʻenau ako ke mahino mo mapuleʻi ʻenau tōʻonga fakasekisualé. ʻOku mahuʻinga ke tau manatuʻi ke tanumaki ʻa e fakalakalaká kae ʻikai ko e loto-halaiá pea mo akoʻi ki he fānaú ʻe lava ke tāpuekina kinautolu ʻe Sīsū Kalaisi ʻaki ʻa e ʻaloʻofa mo e mālohi mo e manavaʻofa ke fakamālohia mo tokonia kinautolu ke nau kei haohaoa fakasekisuale pea fiefia ʻi ha ʻaho ʻi he ngaahi tāpuaki ʻo e feohi fafale fakasekisuale ʻi he nofo-malí.
ʻOku ʻikai faingofua ʻa e hoko ko ha mātuʻá. Pea mahalo he ʻikai haohaoa maʻu pē ʻa ʻetau ngaahi feinga ke akoʻi ʻetau fānaú, ka te tau lava ʻo fai hotau lelei tahá ke akoʻi ʻetau fānaú fekauʻaki mo e meʻaʻofa fakaʻofoʻofá ʻa ia ko e feohi fafale fakasekisuale ʻi he nofo-malí. Kapau te tau ongoʻi ʻoku tau tōnounou, te tau lava ʻo toe lelei ange ʻi he tokoni ʻa e ʻEikí. Ne pehē ʻe ʻEletā Sefilī R. Hōlani ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá, “ʻI he tokoni mai ʻa e meʻaʻofa ʻo e Fakalelei ʻa Sīsū Kalaisí mo e ivi ʻo e langí, te tau lava ʻo fakalakalaka, pea ko e leleiʻanga ʻo e ongoongoleleí he ʻoku tāpuakiʻi kitautolu ʻi heʻetau feingá, neongo kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke tau lavaʻi maʻu pē ia.”7