Balancing What Does Matter Most
President Ballard’s words inspired me to place a more appropriate emphasis on the important things in my life.
Photograph courtesy of the author
Every day of my life is a balancing act.
I am a young mother working full-time, with theater rehearsals, Church responsibilities, and time spent with friends and family too. I’ve also got chores, sleep, and regular exercise to take care of. None of these are bad things, and they all matter.
But the struggle is real. I often feel like I can never give 100 percent of myself to any one thing, and I’ve always felt like giving anything less than 100 percent is failing. So when I attempt to balance so many things, I feel like I’m failing in every aspect of my life.
Relationships Come First
I didn’t expect the talk from President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, to impact me so much. But it did. Everything he said touched my heart and inspired me to realign my priorities.
“What matters most is what lasts longest”1—the inscription on President Ballard’s late wife’s headstone is a profound seven-word sentiment. When I heard those words, I immediately started thinking about my temple sealing, one of the things most precious to me because I know it will last far beyond this life.
President Ballard continued, explaining what matters most: relationships with God, Jesus Christ, and family.
It didn’t take President Ballard’s talk to remind me that work, rehearsals, chores, and even Church responsibilities are less important than these relationships, but his words did inspire me to place a more appropriate emphasis on the things I do each day.
Helping—Not Hindering—Relationship Growth
President Ballard discussed the idea that nurturing relationships is a choice: it takes “love, patience, communication, and forgiveness.”2
At first this idea of nurturing relationships made me feel guilty—yet another thing on my list of to-dos that I can’t seem to do 100 percent—but then I realized something. All these things on my everyday to-do list are ultimately meant to bless and nurture my relationships. So if anything becomes burdensome rather than nourishing to my relationships with Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and my family, then it’s time to scale it back appropriately.
Lessening my focus on something without feeling guilty is so difficult for me. I often hold to the saying that if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. But I place a higher value on the prophetic teaching that what matters most are my eternal relationships.
Where Your Treasure Is
I have found that nurturing relationships grows love. After all, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21).
When my husband and I take intentional time to be together, that time is an investment in our relationship. We feel more closely connected when we spend time together. When I play with my little girl, with all my focus on her, our bond grows stronger.
This idea is also true for spending intentional time with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. When I am in a good habit of reading my scriptures, praying, and doing other spiritually strengthening things, I feel more closely connected with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, and my love for them deepens. Doing those spiritually strengthening things also helps me to feel Their love for me more strongly and to feel more balanced when juggling my other priorities.
Moving Forward with the Right Focus
Am I going to throw away my seemingly endless to-do list? No. But because of what the Holy Ghost taught me while listening to President Ballard’s talk, I am going to be more intentional about what matters most—even if that means giving less of myself in less-important areas.
Rather than trying to balance everything equally, true balance will be possible if 100 percent of my focus is on my relationship with God and Jesus Christ.