For Mothers of Young Children
What I Learned about Parenting from an Obstacle Course
I had been terrified of all my parenting mistakes until I learned something from an obstacle course.
As one of the adults supervising 40 youth at a day-long ropes course, I had decided I would do all my supervising from the ground. I was terrified of heights and didn’t want to deal with the anxiety that came with my fear.
Despite my resolve, several hours later the girls in my group convinced me to put on a harness. Before I knew it, I was following them toward an obstacle course—a 40-foot high, multilevel jungle gym of ropes and platforms—and regretting everything.
The course leader turned to me with a broad smile. “This is great. You can help Camile.”
Camile was a girl in our group who needed extra support to participate. The sickening feeling deepened. In addition to my fear of heights, I was physically out of shape. How could I help another person when I could barely help myself?
Each of us was given a shorter rope that was attached to our harness and then linked to the course’s bolt and rope system via a device called a c-clip. The c-clip had to be manually moved from one part of the course to the next. Camile’s ability to participate depended on me moving both of our c-clips.
I planned the easiest route back to the main platform while still allowing Camile to try several obstacles. Each time we did an individual obstacle, Camile went first while I talked her across. Then I would say a prayer and plunge across as fast as I could, my shaking legs and arms making the entire obstacle vibrate violently. After two obstacles, I realized that one rope crossing I had thought looked like an easy route back was full of weaving lines that had to be ducked under or climbed over. Camile had to move her c-clip as well as her body around each rope.
The other kids were wrapping up their experiences, headed down to the safety of the ground, but Camile was stuck. I would have to be on the ropes with her to help her down. With another prayer, I headed out onto the obstacle.
Step by step, rope by rope, we moved forward together. Eventually, the security of the c-clips settled inside me, and my anxiety left. No mistake of mine could break that link to the support lines. I was safe, and so was Camile. It took us an extra 30 minutes, but we made it.
Anchored to Christ
Over the next few weeks, I thought a lot about my experience with Camile and how it relates to parenting. Since the start of that summer, I had been dealing with a different type of anxiety that was related to my growing children’s life challenges.
Being a parent is like being on an unfamiliar obstacle course with a completely inexperienced person depending on you to coach them to the end. We don’t always know what we are doing. Some challenges take more time to get through than we expect. Other times we feel as terrified and unsure as they are.
But the truth is, we are fully secure in the promise that Jesus Christ will always be there for us. Like the c-clip, we are always anchored to Him. Paul taught:
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
“Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38–39).
I had read that scripture before, but I wasn’t seeing how it worked in the lives of both me and my children. No mistakes I make as a parent will permanently break that connection to Christ or keep myself or my children from His Atonement and love.
Trusting Christ on My Parenting Journey
Additionally, I came to realize that not recognizing or fully trusting in my Savior’s presence doesn’t change the reality of His existence. I came to trust in the safety of the c-clip after an extended period of using it.
Likewise, over time, continual experiences with my Savior diminish my anxiety and help me to keep my covenants, follow Him, and trust in His ability to help me on my parenting journey.
Sister Jean B. Bingham, former Relief Society General President, taught: “Each of you women who has made covenants with God has the ability to hold up the Lord’s light and lead others to Him [see 3 Nephi 18:24]. Through your keeping of covenants, He will bless you with His priesthood power and enable you to have a profound influence on all with whom you interact.”1
I’m not in parenting alone and neither are my children. Eventually, they will learn to navigate the course on their own, moving their own c-clips and developing their own personal relationship with Christ. Together we can be “more than conquerors through him that loved us” (Romans 8:37).