How Could I Ever Feel Ready to Be a Parent?
My future as a potential parent seemed so full of unknowns, and I felt overwhelmed.
I’ll be honest: sometimes the idea of becoming a mother terrifies me.
It’s not that I don’t want kids. I’ve seen the joy that having a family brings. And I believe God’s prophet when he declared, “The highest and noblest work in this life is that of a mother.”1 Without mothers, the plan of happiness would shudder to a halt.
But now that I’m married and parenthood is closer than ever, I find that I’m the one shuddering.
The Unknowns of Parenting
Becoming a parent comes with so many question marks: Will I get really sick during pregnancy? Will the sight of an epidural needle kill me before labor does? Am I emotionally and spiritually mature enough? What if I don’t have enough love?
And what about actually raising my children?
There’s not really a “try-it-out” phase for parenthood. I can read all about it, get advice, and spend time with kids, but in the end, I can’t know exactly what my family will be like. And once we decide to have kids, there’s no rewind button.
As I’ve prayed, pondered, and talked with my husband about the unknowns of parenting, I’ve found myself wavering between fear and faith. Unfortunately, fear wins a lot, and I often find myself in tears, wondering if I’ll ever feel ready enough to be the mom I want to be.
So as general conference approached, I was desperate for any comfort God had for me.
Accepting the Responsibility of Parenthood Courageously and Joyfully
As Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles started talking about parents on Saturday, my ears perked up. Here it is, I thought, the answer to all my worries and fears about parenthood! But as he started speaking about parents’ divine responsibilities, I could feel some of my anxieties bubbling to the surface.
Parenting in Heavenly Father’s way really is a high standard.
But Elder Uchtdorf was just getting started:
“My message to all parents is this:
“The Lord loves you.
“He is with you.
“He stands beside you.
“He is your strength in guiding your children to make righteous choices.
“Accept this privilege and responsibility courageously and joyfully.”2
I couldn’t argue with that testimony and invitation. So I kept listening.
Jesus Christ Will Be My Strength
Elder Uchtdorf didn’t specifically address every concern I had. But he eased my fears by inserting the Savior into the parental equations where I had left Him out.
My fears about having enough love for children I don’t even know yet?
I was reminded that I can be filled with the pure love of Christ as I pray for charity and follow the Savior (see Moroni 7:48). “God will help you see your children as He sees them—beyond their outward appearance and into their hearts [see 1 Samuel 16:7],” Elder Uchtdorf promised. “With God’s help, you can learn to know your children in a pure and heavenly way.”3
My fears about not being emotionally and spiritually fit for motherhood?
I was promised that “Jesus Christ will bless and magnify [my] consistent efforts”4 to serve my family. “The fact is, all parents worry about not being good enough,” Elder Uchtdorf assured. “Fortunately, there is a divine source of help for parents: It is Jesus Christ.”5
I had been focusing so much on the unknowns of parenthood that I forgot about the knowns—that Jesus Christ will be my strength through it all. And He will be my children’s strength too.
I won’t pretend that I’m 100 percent ready to dive into parenthood. But I’m not completely terrified anymore.
Elder Uchtdorf spoke directly to my fearful heart and helped it open to faith. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ care deeply about my husband and me, and They will help us righteously raise our future children.
Notes