The One Change the Lord Needed Me to Make
I needed just one thing to help me know how to change, and what I learned from President Nelson blessed me with so much more.
Going into general conference, I had one question that I wanted to focus on.
Life has felt particularly overwhelming the past few months, and I wanted to know one thing the Lord wanted me to change.
I know I am far from perfect, and there are many things I need to change, but I felt like I only had the energy and stamina to focus on one thing. Instead of being overwhelmed with a long to-do list, I was hoping Heavenly Father could help me identify the most important thing for me to focus on.
Finding My Answer
The answer to my question came through one of President Russell M. Nelson’s talks. His message centered around the simple yet profound principle of charity. He taught us to be kind to one another. This plea included even those people (perhaps especially) whom we disagree with. He said, “Let us show that there is a respectful way to resolve complex issues and an enlightened way to work out disagreements.”1
This was a powerful lesson for me.
I had come to conference seeking revelation on something I needed to change and realized this was the change the Lord intended for me to make.
Developing Charitable Habits
As I pondered President Nelson’s message on how I can be kinder and more considerate of others, I realized it applies to many aspects of my life.
There are days where I am out running errands and am so busy that it can be easy to get frustrated with people on the road or other shoppers at the store. But President Nelson has helped me see that my frustrations are not of the Savior and that I should avoid becoming frustrated and choose to be kind to those around me instead.
As I have become more aware of my weaknesses in Christlike charity, I have been able to change small habits of frustration and replace them with smiles and compliments to those around me. Instead of finding fault in other drivers, shoppers, or employees, I now notice the good that they do and am more appreciative of these people.
I also made it a priority to be more intentional to be a defender of all that is good in people when I am talking about them while they are not around. President Nelson said: “Civility and decency seem to have disappeared during this era of polarization and passionate disagreements. Vulgarity, faultfinding, and evil speaking of others are all too common.”2 His powerful words inspired me to look for and promote the good and to help people see the goodness in themselves.
Having Charity toward Those Online
I realized this principle also applies to interactions I have that are not face-to-face. My interactions with others extend beyond those that I interact with in person—it extends to those that I interact with on social media too!
This was another area where I knew the Lord needed me to change. And as I considered our prophet’s words, I grew a greater desire to be more kind in my online conversations. President Nelson gave a powerful invitation: “Now is the time to lay aside bitterness. Now is the time to cease insisting that it is your way or no way. Now is the time to stop doing things that make others walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting you. Now is the time to bury your weapons of war [see Alma 24:19; 25:14].”3
It’s easy to see the arguments that ensue on social media and want to get involved—especially when it is something you passionately believe in. But our prophet has urged us to choose to be peacemakers instead of fighters. He has asked us to put our weapons of war away and choose to “arise as a spiritually strong man or woman of Christ.”4
Charity for Myself
The last principle that President Nelson inspired me to live felt more personal: I needed to be more kind to myself.
As I look for the good and virtuous things in others, I also need to notice those attributes in myself. And as I notice who I am, I will be better able to notice the wonderful qualities in those around me. When I can build myself up, I will be in a better position to build others up. I came to the realization that if I am full of contention, then that is all I will have to give, but the opposite is also true—if I am full of peace, then I will also be able to give peace.
Although I came to conference seeking an answer to one question, I found an answer to apply to all aspects of my life. Christ doesn’t ask us to just change one thing—He asks us to take one thing and implement the change into our character.
As a result of conference, I will follow President Nelson’s invitation and strive to be more kind and more loving to those around me, to those I interact with online, and also to myself.