Kau Taukapo ʻo e Fanongonongo ki he Fāmilí
Fai ʻe Bonnie L. Oscarson
Palesiteni Lahi ʻo e Kau Finemuí
Tau tokoni muʻa ʻi hono langa e puleʻanga ʻo e ʻOtuá ʻaki ʻetau tuʻu lototoʻa ʻo taukapoʻi ʻa e nofomalí, tuʻunga fakaemātuʻá, mo e ʻapí.
Ko ha faingamālie fakafiefia ke kau mai ki he fakataha fakaofo ko ʻeni ʻo e fānau fefiné mo e houʻeiki fafiné. Kuo faitāpuekina kitautolu ʻi heʻetau hoko ko e houʻeiki fafiné ke tau fakataha ʻi he efiafí ni ʻi he uouangataha mo e ʻofa.
Ne u toki laú ni ʻa e talanoa ʻo Malia Mateline Kātoní, ʻa ia naʻá ne maʻu fakataha mo hono fāmilí ʻa e pōpoaki ʻo e ongoongolelei ʻo Sīsū Kalaisi kuo fakafoki maí, mei he fuofua kau faifekau ne uiuiʻi ke ngāue ʻi ʻĪtali ʻi he taʻu 1850. Naʻá ne kei finemui taʻu 17 pe 18 nai ʻi he taimi ne papitaiso ai kinautolú. Lolotonga ha fakataha lotu ʻa e fāmilí ʻi ha Sāpate ʻe taha ʻi honau ʻapí ʻi he fakatokelau ki ʻolunga ʻo e ʻOtu Moʻunga ʻi ʻĪtalí, ne fakataha atu ʻi honau tuʻa falé ha kau tangata fakatanga loto ʻita, kau ai ha niʻihi ʻo e kau faifekau fakalotofonuá ʻo kamata ke nau kaikaila, kalanga mo ui ke fakahū mai e kau faifekaú ki tuʻa. ʻOku ʻikai ke u fakakaukau ne nau vekeveke ke akoʻi kiate kinautolu e ongoongoleleí—naʻa nau fakataumuʻa ke fai ha fakalavea. Naʻe laka atu e finemui ko Maliá ke fehangahangai mo e kau fakatangá.
Ne hokohoko atu ʻenau kaikaila fakamanamaná mo e tuʻutuʻuni ke fakahū mai ki tuʻa e kau faifekaú. Ne hiki hake ʻe Malia ʻene Tohi Tapú peá ne fekau ke nau mavahe. Naʻá ne talaange kiate kinautolu ʻokú ne maluʻi e kau faifekaú pea ʻe tapu ke nau ala ki ha tuʻoni louʻulu ʻi honau ʻulú. Fakafanongo mai ki heʻene ngaahi leá: “Ne ʻohovale e taha kotoa. … Ne u kau mo e ʻOtuá. Naʻá ne ʻomi e ngaahi lea ko iá ki hoku ngutú, he ka naʻe ʻikai, he ʻikai te u lava ʻo lea ʻaki kinautolu. Ne nonga e meʻa kotoa he taimi pē ko iá. Ne tuʻu e kau tangata mālohi mo fītaʻa ko iá ʻi muʻa ʻi ha kiʻi taʻahine vaivai, tetetete kae lototoʻa.” Ne kole ʻe he kau faifekaú ki he kau fakatangá ke nau mavahe, pea naʻa nau fai fakalongolongo ia ʻi heʻenau mā, manavahē mo e ongoʻi fakatomala. Ne fakaʻosi ʻe he kiʻi tākanga tokosiʻí ni ʻenau fakatahá ʻi he fiemālie.1
ʻOku mou lava nai ʻo fakakaukau atu ki he finemui lototoʻa ko iá, ʻa ia ne taʻu tatau mo e tokolahi ʻo kimoutolu, ʻi heʻene fakafepakiʻi ha kau fakatanga pea taukapoʻi ʻa e tui foʻou naʻá ne toki maʻú ʻi he lototoʻa mo e loto fakapapaú?
ʻE ngaahi tokoua, ʻe tokosiʻi hatau niʻihi ʻe fehangahangai mo ha kau fakatanga loto ʻita, ka ʻoku lolotonga fai ha feingatau ʻi he māmaní ʻoku ʻohofi ai ʻetau ngaahi tokāteline tefitó mo ia ʻoku tau mataʻikoloa ʻakí. ʻOku ou lea fakapatonu atu ki he tokāteline ʻo e fāmilí. ʻOku fehuʻia, fakaangaʻi mo ʻohofia e molumalu ʻo e ʻapí mo e ngaahi taumuʻa mahuʻinga ʻo e fāmilí, ʻi he tapa kotoa pē.
ʻI hono fuofua lau ko ia ʻe Palesiteni Kōtoni B. Hingikelī e “Ko e Fāmilí: Ko ha Fanongonongo Ki Māmani” ʻi he taʻu ʻe 20 kuo hilí, ne tau houngaʻia pea mahuʻingaʻia ʻi heʻene mahinongofuá, pea mo e moʻoni ʻo hono tuku mai e fakamatala ko iá. Ne ʻikai te tau teitei ʻilo he taimi ko iá, ʻa hono lahi ʻo ʻetau fie maʻu e ngaahi fakamatala tefito ko iá ʻi he māmani ʻo e ʻaho ní, ke hoko ko ha tuʻunga moʻui ʻe lava ke tau fakamaauʻi ʻaki e akonaki fakaemamani ʻoku tau maʻu ʻi he mītiá, ʻInitanetí, kau potó, TV mo e heleʻuhilá pea aʻu pē ki hotau kau fakafofonga falealeá. Kuo hoko e fanongonongo kau ki he fāmilí ko e tuʻunga ia ke tau siviʻi ʻaki e ngaahi fakakaukau ʻa e māmaní, pea ʻoku ou fakamoʻoni atu ʻoku moʻoni ʻi he ʻahó ni e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻoku fokotuʻu mai ʻi he fakamatala ko ʻení ʻo hangē pē ko ia ʻi he taimi ne ʻomi ai ia kiate kitautolu ʻe he palōfita ʻa e ʻOtuá, ʻi he meimei taʻu ʻe 20 kuo hilí.
ʻE lava nai ke u talaatu ha meʻa ʻoku matuʻaki mahino? ʻOku tātātaha ke hoko ʻi he moʻuí ʻa e meʻa ʻoku palani ki ai ha taha, pea ʻoku tau ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻikai aʻusia ʻe he houʻeiki fafine kotoa ʻa e meʻa ʻoku fakamatalaʻi ʻe he fanongonongó. ʻOku kei mahuʻinga pē ke mahino pea akoʻi e sīpinga ʻa e ʻEikí mo feinga ke fakahoko e sīpinga ko iá ʻi he lelei taha te tau ala lavá.
ʻOku tau takitāuhi pē fatongia ʻi he palaní, pea ʻoku tau mahuʻinga kotoa ʻi he ʻafio mai ʻa e ʻEikí. ʻOku totonu ke tau manatuʻi ʻoku ʻafioʻi ʻe ha Tamai Hēvani ʻofa ʻa ʻetau ngaahi holi māʻoniʻoní, pea te Ne fakahoko ʻEne ngaahi talaʻofá, pea he ʻikai taʻofi ha meʻa kiate kinautolu ʻoku tauhi faivelenga ʻenau ngaahi fuakavá. ʻOku ʻi ai ha misiona mo ha palani ʻa e Tamai Hēvaní maʻatautolu, ka ʻoku ʻi ai pē foki mo ʻEne taimitēpile ia ʻAʻana. Ko e taha ʻo e ngaahi pole faingataʻa taha ʻo e moʻui ní ko e falala ko ia ki he taimi ʻa e ʻEikí. Ko ha fakakaukau lelei ke ʻi ai mo ha toe palani ʻe taha, ʻa ia ʻoku tokoni ke tau hoko ko ha kau fafine tauhi fuakava, ʻofa faka-Kalaisi mo angatonu ʻoku langa e puleʻanga ‘o e ‘Otuá neongo pe ko e hā ʻoku hoko ʻi heʻetau moʻuí. ʻOku fie maʻu ke tau akoʻi ʻetau fānau fefiné, ke nau feinga ke aʻusia e lelei tahá pea palani foki ki ha ngaahi meʻa taʻe-ʻamanekina.
Lolotonga hono fakamanatua e taʻu 20 ʻo e fanongonongo ki he fāmilí, ʻoku ou fie fakatukupaaʻi kitautolu houʻeiki fafine ʻo e Siasí ke tau taukapoʻi ʻa e “Ko e Fāmilí: Ko ha Fanongonongo Ki Māmani.” Hangē pē ko hono taukapoʻi lototoʻa ʻe Malia Mateline Kātoni e kau faifekaú mo ʻene tui foʻoú, ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau taukapoʻi lototoʻa ʻa e ngaahi tokāteline kuo fakahā mai ʻe he ʻEikí ʻo fakamatalaʻi e nofomalí, fāmilí, mo e fatongia fakalangi ʻo e houʻeiki tangatá mo e fafiné, mo e mahuʻinga ʻo e ʻapí ʻi heʻene hoko ko ha ngaahi feituʻu toputapú—ʻo aʻu pē ki he taimi ʻoku ongo leʻolahi mai ai ʻa e māmaní kuo ʻolokuonga, fakangatangata pe ʻikai toe ʻaonga e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoní. ʻE lava ʻe he tokotaha kotoa pē neongo pe ko e hā hono tūkunga nofomalí pe tokolahi ʻo e fānaú, ke nau taukapoʻi e palani ʻa e ʻEikí ʻoku fakamatalaʻi ʻi he fanongonongo ki he fāmilí. Kapau ko e palani ʻeni ʻa e ʻEikí, ʻoku totonu ke hoko ia ko ʻetau palani!
ʻOku ʻi ai ha tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻe tolu ʻoku akoʻi ʻi he fanongonongó ʻoku ou pehē ʻoku nau fie maʻu moʻoni ha kau taukapo tuʻu taʻeueʻia. Ko e ʻuluakí ko e malí ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo ha tangata mo ha fefiné. ʻOku akoʻi kitautolu ʻi he folofolá, “Ka ko ʻeni ʻoku ʻikai ai ʻa e tangatá kae ʻi he fefiné, pea ʻoku ʻikai ai ʻa e fefiné kae ʻi he tangatá, ʻi he ʻEikí.”2 Ke maʻu kakato ʻe ha taha e ngaahi tāpuaki ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí, kuo pau ke ʻi ai ha husepāniti mo ha uaifi kuo silaʻi ʻi he fale ʻo e ʻEikí, ngāue fakataha ʻi he angatonu mo tauhi faivelenga ʻena ngaahi fuakavá. Ko e palani ʻeni ʻa e ʻEikí ki Heʻene fānaú, pea neongo ha lahi ʻo ha malanga ki he kakaí pe fakaanga, te ne liliu e meʻa kuo folofola ʻaki ʻe he ʻEikí. ʻOku fie maʻu ke hokohoko atu ʻetau tā e sīpinga ʻo e nofomali angatonú, fekumi ki he tāpuaki ko iá ʻi heʻetau moʻuí, mo tui neongo ʻo ka tuai ʻene hoko maí. Tuku ke tau taukapoʻi ʻa e nofomalí ʻo hangē ko ia kuo fakanofo ʻe he ʻEikí kae kei fakahaaʻi ʻa e ʻofa mo e manavaʻofa kiate kinautolu ʻoku kehe ʻenau vakaí.
Ko e tefitoʻi moʻoni hokó ʻoku fie maʻu ki ai ʻetau taukapó, ke fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻa e fatongia fakalangi ʻo e tamaí mo e faʻeé. ʻOku tau akoʻi loto vēkeveke ʻetau fānaú ke fokotuʻu ha ngaahi taumuʻa māʻolunga ʻi he moʻuí ni. ʻOku tau loto ke fakapapauʻi ʻoku ʻiloʻi ʻe heʻetau fānau fefiné ʻoku nau malava ke aʻusia ha meʻa pē te nau ala fakakaukau loto ki ai. ʻOku tau ʻamanaki te nau saiʻia he akó, ako fakaʻatamai, mohu talēnitiʻia, pea malava ke nau hangē ko Malia Kula pe ʻĪlisa R. Sinou ʻi he kahaʻú.
ʻOku tau akoʻi nai ʻetau fānau tangatá mo e fefiné ʻoku ʻikai ha toe lāngilangi ʻe lahi ange, pe hingoa ʻe toe māʻolunga ange, pea ʻikai ha fatongia ʻe toe mahuʻinga ange ʻi he moʻuí ni ka ko e hoko ko ha faʻē pe tamaí? ʻOku ou ʻamanaki ʻi heʻetau poupouʻi ko ia ʻetau fānaú ke aʻusia e lelei tahá ʻi he māmaní, te tau akoʻi foki ke nau fakaʻapaʻapaʻi pea vikia e ngaahi fatongia ʻoku fakahoko ʻe he faʻeé mo e tamaí ʻi he palani ʻa e Tamai Hēvaní.
Ne maʻu ʻe ʻEpi ko ʻema taʻahine siʻi tahá ha faingamālie ke taukapoʻi ʻa e fatongia ʻo e faʻeé. Naʻá ne maʻu ʻi ha ʻaho ʻe taha ha fanongonongo mei he ʻapiako ʻene fānaú ʻe fakahoko ha Career Day ʻi ʻapiako. Ne fakaafeʻi e mātuʻá ke fai ange ha tohi kole kapau ʻoku nau fie haʻu ki he ʻapiakó ʻo akoʻi e fānaú kau ki heʻenau ngāué, pea naʻe ongoʻi ʻe ʻEpi ke ʻave ha tohi kole ke lea fekauʻaki mo e tuʻunga fakaefaʻeé. Ne ʻikai fai mai ha tali mei he ʻapiakó, pea ʻi he ofi mai ko ia e Career Day, ne faifai peá ne tā ki he ʻapiakó, ʻi heʻene pehē mahalo ne pulia ʻa ʻene tohi kolé. Ne tohaka holo e kau fokotuʻutuʻu polokalamá ʻo maʻu ha ongo faiako ne na loto ke haʻu ʻa ʻEpi ʻo lea ʻi heʻena kalasí ʻi he fakaʻosinga ʻo e Career Day.
Naʻe akoʻi fiefia ʻe ʻEpi ki he fānaú ʻa e fie maʻu ʻi heʻene hoko ko ha faʻeé, ke ne hoko ko ha mataotao fakafaitoʻo, fakaeʻatamai, fakalotu, fakafaiako, fakamūsika, fakatohi, fakaʻaati, fakapaʻanga, teuteuʻi ʻo ha meʻá, ngaohiʻulú, fakaʻulí, sipotí, kukí mo e ala meʻa pehē. Ne saiʻia ai e fānaú. Naʻá ne fakaʻosi ʻaki ʻene fakamanatu ki he fānaú ʻenau faʻeé, ʻaki hono fai ʻe he fānaú ha kiʻi tohi fakamālō koeʻuhí ko e ngaahi tōʻonga ʻofa ʻoku maʻu fakaʻahó. Ne ongoʻi ʻe ʻEpi ne vakai e fānaú ki heʻenau faʻeé ʻaki ha mahino foʻou pea ko e meʻa mahuʻinga ʻaupito e hoko ko ha faʻē pe tamaí. Naʻá ne toe tohi kole pē he taʻú ni ʻi he Career Day pea naʻe fakaafeʻi ia ke ne fai ha ako ki ha kalasi ʻe ono.
Naʻe lea ʻa ʻEpi ʻo kau ki heʻene aʻusiá: “ʻOku ou ongoʻi ʻe faingofua pē ki he fānaú ʻi he māmaní ke nau ongoʻi hangē ʻoku ʻikai fuʻu mahuʻinga ia ke hoko ko ha mātuʻa, pea aʻu ʻo pehē ko ha meʻa fakahela ka ʻoku mahuʻinga. ʻOku ou fie maʻu ke ongoʻi ʻe he kiʻi tamasiʻi kotoa ko kinautolu ʻoku mahuʻinga taha ki heʻenau mātuʻá, pea mahalo ʻi hono fakamatalaʻi kiate kinautolu e mahuʻinga kiate au ʻo e hoko ko ha mātuʻá,ʻe tokoni ia ke nau fakatokangaʻi e ngaahi meʻa kotoa ʻoku fai maʻanautolu ʻe heʻenau mātuʻá pea mo hono ʻuhingá.”
ʻOku hoko hotau palōfita ʻofeina ko Palesiteni Tōmasi S. Monisoni, ko ha sīpinga lelei ʻo hono fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻo e houʻeiki fafiné mo e tuʻunga fakaefaʻeé, kae tautautefito ki heʻene faʻeé tonu. ʻI haʻane lea fekauʻaki mo ʻetau faʻē fakaemāmaní, naʻá ne pehē: “Fakatauange ke tau mataʻikoloa ʻaki e moʻoni ko ʻení; he ʻikai lavaʻe ha taha ʻo fakangaloʻi ʻa e faʻeé kae manatuʻi ʻa e ʻOtuá. He ʻikai lava ʻe ha taha ʻo manatuʻi ʻa e faʻeé kae fakangaloʻi ʻa e ʻOtuá. Ko e hā hono ʻuhingá? He ʻoku hoko ʻa e ongo kakai toputapu ko ʻení, ʻa e ʻOtuá mo ʻetau faʻē [fakaemāmaní] ʻo taha pē, ʻo na hoa ngāue ʻi he fakatupú, ʻofá, feilaulaú mo e ngāue tokoní.”3
Ko e tefitoʻi moʻoni fakaʻosi ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau taukapoʻí, ko e toputapu ko ia ʻo e ʻapí. ʻOku fie maʻu ke tau fakahikihikiʻi e foʻi lea ʻoku faʻa taʻetokaʻí. ʻA e foʻi lea ko ia ko e tauhi ʻapi. ʻE lava ʻe kitautolu kotoa—ʻa e kakai fefine, kakai tangata, toʻu tupu, mo e fānau, tāutaha pe mali —ʻo ngāueʻi ke tau hoko ko ha kau tauhi ʻapi. ʻOku totonu ke tau “tauhi hotau ʻapí” ke hoko ko ha feituʻu maau, hūfangaʻanga, māʻoniʻoni pea mo malu. ʻOku totonu ke hoko hotau ʻapí ko ha feituʻu ʻe lava ke ongoʻi mahutafea ai e Laumālie ʻo e ʻEikí, pea ʻoku ako mo akoʻi ai e folofolá mo e ongoongoleleí pea moʻui ʻaki ia. ʻIkai ʻe hoko ha liliu lahi ʻi he māmaní kapau ʻe lau ʻe he kakai kotoa ko ha kau tauhi kinautolu ʻo ha ngaahi ʻapi angatonu. Tau taukapoʻi muʻa e ʻapí ko ha feituʻu ʻoku hoko hake ki he temipalé ʻi hono māʻoniʻoní.
Ngaahi tokoua, ʻoku ou fakafetaʻi heʻeku hoko ko ha fefine ʻi he ngaahi ʻaho fakaʻosí ni. ʻOku tau maʻu e faingamālie pea te tau malava, he ʻoku ʻikai maʻu ia ʻe ha toe toʻu tangata ʻo ha kakai fefine ʻi he māmaní. Tau tokoni muʻa ʻi hono langa e puleʻanga ʻo e ʻOtuá ʻaki ʻetau tuʻu lototoʻa ʻo taukapoʻi ʻa e nofomalí, tuʻunga fakaemātuʻá pea mo e ʻapí. ʻOku fie maʻu ʻe he ʻOtuá ke tau lototoʻa, tuʻu maʻu mo taʻe ueʻia ʻo taukapoʻi ʻEne palaní pea akoʻi ʻEne moʻoní ki he ngaahi toʻu tangata ka hokó.
ʻOku ou fakamoʻoni ʻoku moʻui ʻa e Tamai Hevaní pea ʻokú Ne ʻofa ʻiate kitautolu kotoa. Ko hotau Fakamoʻuí mo e Huhuʻí ʻa Hono ʻAlo ko Sīsū Kalaisí. Ko ʻeku fakamoʻoní ia, ʻi he huafa ʻo Sīsū Kalaisí, ʻēmeni.