“10: Learn,” Finding Strength in the Lord: Emotional Resilience (2020)
“10: Learn,” Finding Strength in the Lord: Emotional Resilience
Learn—Maximum Time: 60 Minutes
1. Recognizing Our Progress
In the strength of the Lord and through His grace, we can be blessed to do, endure, and overcome all things. Over the last few weeks, we have found strength in the Lord and learned many skills to improve our emotional resilience.
Step 1: Assess your level of overall improvement in each of the following categories by checking the box next to the areas where you feel you have improved during this course.
Caring for my physical health
Managing my thoughts
Managing feelings of stress and anxiety
Managing feelings of sadness and depression
Managing feelings of anger
Building healthy relationships
Managing my emotions
Expressing gratitude
Providing strength to others
Being emotionally resilient
Feeling spiritually strengthened
Step 2: Write down three ways you have improved your emotional resilience during this course.
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Step 3: At the start of these group meetings, you identified a personal change you wanted to make. Take a moment to answer the questions below about that change.
What was the personal change you wanted to make?
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What went well with your efforts?
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What challenges did you face?
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What’s your plan moving forward?
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With the group, share some of the thoughts you wrote down in the activity above. What went well?
What challenges did you face in your efforts to change, and how did you progress through those challenges?
2. Learning from Our Setbacks
Setbacks are a normal part of life and an expected part of any efforts to change. Your setbacks can teach you ways to continue your progression. When you face setbacks, it is helpful to focus on improvement and not perfection. Elder Kim B. Clark taught: “None of us are perfect. Sometimes we get stuck. We get distracted or discouraged. We stumble. But if we look to Jesus Christ with a repentant heart, He will lift us up, cleanse us from sin, forgive us, and heal our hearts. He is patient and kind; His redeeming love never ends and never fails” (“Look unto Jesus Christ ,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2019, 56).
The scriptures teach, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all” (Psalm 34:19 ).
By turning to the Savior when you experience setbacks, you can develop a perspective of progress rather than perfection. One way to deal with setbacks is to compare them to taking a trip. For example, imagine you are traveling to a neighboring town. On your way, you experience a flat tire. Do you start your trip from the beginning to fix the tire? No. You find a way to fix it where you are and continue your journey. Similarly, when you experience a setback, you may feel like all your progress is erased and you have to start over, but that is not true. You can find ways to fix the problem where you are and move forward. Additionally, setbacks can even show you places you may need to improve.
What have you learned from your own setbacks?
3. Enduring Our Challenges Well
In mortality we must learn to live with challenges and afflictions. We may strongly desire to be free from emotional challenges and strive for perfection, but even with our best efforts, symptoms of emotional challenges remain. But we don’t have to give up. We must learn to live with these challenges as we move forward with faith. Doing so will help us feel peace and be more resilient.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught: “There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!” (“Continue in Patience ,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2010, 57).
“Come What May, and Love It ,” available at https://churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/self-reliance-videos [3:31].
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What counsel from this video can you apply to your life?
4. Setting Personal Change Goals
Throughout this course you learned skills to help you make changes in your life. You have set, worked on, and reported on goals to practice these skills. President M. Russell Ballard taught: “Set short-term goals that you can reach. Set goals that are well balanced—not too many nor too few, and not too high nor too low. Write down your attainable goals, and work on them according to their importance. Pray for divine guidance in your goal setting” (“Keeping Life’s Demands in Balance ,” Ensign, May 1987, 14).
President Heber J. Grant often said, “That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself has changed, but that our power to do is increased” (author and source unknown).
Step 1: You may want to continue making progress on your current changes and goals, or you may consider choosing a different goal to improve your emotional resilience. Take a moment to write your current or new goal below. As you do, remember President Ballard’s counsel on goals in the preceding section.
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Step 2: Answer the questions below.
What skills have I learned that I can apply to this goal?
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What personal strengths and resources can I draw on?
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What steps will I take to achieve this goal?
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Who can I be accountable to? Who can support me in this goal?
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“Our business in life is not to get ahead of others but to get ahead of ourselves. To break our own record, to outstrip our yesterdays by today, to bear our trials more beautifully than we ever dreamed we could, to give as we never have given, to do our work with more force and a finer finish than ever—this is the true objective” (Thomas S. Monson, “The Lighthouse of the Lord: A Message to the Youth of the Church ,” Ensign, Feb. 2001, 5).
How is goal-setting a part of God’s plan for us?
5. Seeking Help through the Savior
Brother Tad R. Callister taught the following about the Lord:
“The Savior’s Atonement gives us life for death, ‘beauty for ashes,’ healing for hurt, and perfection for weakness. It is heaven’s antidote to the obstacles and struggles of this world.
“In the Savior’s final week of mortality, He said, ‘In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world’ [John 16:33 ]. Because the Savior performed His Atonement, there is no external force or event or person—no sin or death or divorce—that can prevent us from achieving exaltation, provided we keep God’s commandments. With that knowledge, we can press forward with good cheer and absolute assurance that God is with us in this heavenly quest” (“The Atonement of Jesus Christ ,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2019, 87).
The Lord wants to comfort and support us. He has promised, “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers” (Doctrine and Covenants 112:10 ). The following are a few ways you can seek divine help:
Forgive yourself and others.
Pray with faith, humility, and gratitude.
Feast upon the scriptures and teachings of living prophets.
Attend the temple.
Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy.
Partake of the sacrament, and always remember the Savior.
Realize that having and asking questions is an important part of receiving revelation.
Remember the Savior wants to help you with your goals.
How have you been strengthened in the Lord during this course?
6. Seeking Help from Others
God doesn’t want us to go through our trials alone. It is often through another person that He meets our needs. God has and will put people into our lives to help us and support us during our trials. Places we can turn to for help include:
How have others helped you during this course?
Seeking Professional Help
It’s hard to know whether or not to seek professional help. The following situations are warning signs that might indicate a need for professional help.
You suffer from persistent feelings of overwhelming anger, sadness, fear, emotional pain, or hopelessness. Regardless of what you do, these feelings remain and are often mentally and physically debilitating.
Despite the feelings sometimes coming and going, the issues have continued for many months.
You feel physically incapacitated, and your appetite and sleep patterns change.
You have an uncontrollable sense of worry and anxiety.
You contemplate harming yourself or others.
Your ability to function on a day-to-day basis is affected, limiting your productivity.
If you are experiencing some of these warning signs and are worried about your health, talk to a health-care professional or someone you trust.
Note: Additional information on choosing the right health-care professional for you can be found in the “Resources ” section at the end of this chapter.
Congratulations on completing this course! Many of the things we have discussed cannot be accomplished in 10 weeks. However, you may have developed some habits that can help you progress toward greater emotional resilience. Review the chapters in this workbook often to remember and practice these principles and skills.
As a group, voluntarily share your experiences from this course. Consider sharing the most helpful skills you learned, spiritual experiences you’ve had, ways you’ve changed, or how the Lord has blessed you during this course.
After completing this course, some groups choose to continue meeting together less frequently. Some find value in consistently learning together, supporting each other, and working to overcome challenges. Others have used text messages or social media to regularly offer encouragement and share uplifting articles, videos, and other content.
As a group, discuss if you would like to stay in contact with each other. If so, how would you like to do it?