Learn—Maximum Time: 60 Minutes

1. What Are Stress and Anxiety?

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Stress and anxiety are normal parts of life. These words describe ways the brain and body respond to any demand, such as a problem at work, a test at school, or an important decision. Normal amounts of stress and anxiety can help you focus, reach your goals, and protect your body. For example, if you have some stress about your job, you will likely come to work prepared and focused on your tasks.

Stress and anxiety help keep you alive, but feeling stress and anxiety too often or for too long can cause significant problems and lead to mental illness. If you are dealing with too much stress and anxiety, you might get sick often, have headaches, feel angry, have drastic changes in your appetite, or experience a lack of focus.

You may start to feel overwhelmed by your job, or you may not want to go to work because you fear something bad will happen or that you will not be good enough. These are signs that you are feeling distress or debilitating levels of stress and anxiety.

Stress and anxiety can impact your ability to feel the Spirit or distort your understanding of spiritual promptings. Sister Reyna I. Aburto said, “If we are constantly sad and if our pain blocks our ability to feel the love of our Heavenly Father and His Son and the influence of the Holy Ghost, then we may be suffering from depression, anxiety, or another emotional condition” (“Thru Cloud and Sunshine, Lord, Abide with Me!” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2019, 57).

This chapter focuses on learning to cope better with normal levels of stress and anxiety. You can learn to recognize when you are under too much stress or anxiety and seek the appropriate help.

Discuss:

How have stress and worry helped or hurt you?

2. Understanding Levels of Stress

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Like gauges on a car’s dashboard that remind you to slow down, get gas, or check the engine, symptoms of stress are signals to remind you to slow down, fill up your spiritual “tank,” and look for new solutions. As you work to manage your stress effectively, it may help to categorize stress into four different levels. (See the chart in the following activity.)

ACTIVITY (5 minutes)

Step 1: On your own, read through the four levels of stress. You will likely experience different levels of stress at different times. You may feel like you are at an orange level today and a green level tomorrow. Becoming more emotionally resilient will help you experience a green level of stress more often. Mark the level that best describes how you feel right now.

Stress Levels

	If You Feel …	What to Do
Green	If You Feel … Confident Content Ready to meet challenges Able to get along with others Able to feel the Spirit easily	What to Do This is the level people desire to be in, but it is normal to fluctuate. Keep going. In the green level, you are handling the everyday stresses of family, work, learning, and progressing in a healthy way.
Yellow	If You Feel … Tense Concerned Worried Insecure Difficulty connecting with others Distracted from feeling the Spirit	What to Do It is normal to spend some time at the yellow level. Be kind to yourself as you cope with the challenges of life. Participate in relaxing activities, such as the ones suggested in this chapter, to help increase your ability to manage stress.
Orange	If You Feel … Exhausted (physically and emotionally) Overwhelmed Ill (for example, an upset stomach) Easily angered Deeply discouraged Difficulty feeling the Spirit	What to Do No one enjoys being at the orange level of stress, but this doesn’t have to be permanent. Engage in relaxing activities and remember good experiences. If you stay at the orange level for more than a few days or feel overwhelmed, ask for help.
Red	If You Feel … Constantly overwhelmed Isolated from others Hopeless Difficulty eating or sleeping normally Unable to continue Like you have been abandoned by God	What to Do If you are at this level, ask for help. If you are able to, consider taking a break or doing something that helps you emotionally until you can meet with a health-care professional.

Step 2: Think of the times when your stress level was at the green level. What helped you to feel that way?

Step 3: As a group, discuss your answers from step 2.

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Those who find it hard to handle day-to-day life may have a health issue. An emergency may cause you to suddenly move to an orange or red stress level. People should seek professional help right away if they feel they cannot cope or are using harmful substances. Those who have thoughts of suicide should go to the nearest hospital emergency room and reach out to family, a friend, or their bishop or other Church leader. See suicide.ChurchofJesusChrist.org for help lines and resources.

Anyone in North America can call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255.

3. Use Mindfulness to Reduce Stress

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Stress and inaccurate thinking patterns can dominate and distort your thoughts. Your attention can wander, or you may check out and focus on anything other than what’s happening around you.

Mindfulness is a skill that will help you be more emotionally resilient. It is paying attention to what your body is telling you in the here and now. It can help reduce stress and anxiety and increase your sense of well-being and confidence. Mindfulness also helps you avoid being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s happening around you.

Discuss:

What helps you focus, even when you are stressed?

Ponder:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how stressed am I feeling right now?

ACTIVITY (5 minutes)

Facilitator Note: As with all activities, do not change or enhance this activity. Simply read the steps for this activity in a calm voice and slowly enough that group members can understand you.

In this mindfulness exercise, you will practice stillness. This activity is just one example. The facilitator will read the steps below while the class members follow along.

Step 1: Sit in a comfortable place where you can be still for a few minutes. (When doing this at home, you can either sit or lie down.) Close your eyes.

Step 2: Begin by taking several long, slow breaths, breathing in fully through your nose and exhaling fully through your mouth. Allow your breath to find its own natural rhythm. Notice the physical sensations of your lungs expanding and contracting as you breathe in and out. If your mind wanders to other things, don’t worry; that happens. If you get distracted, just notice the types of thoughts, feelings, and sensations that distract you. Observe them without trying to control them or judge them, and simply bring your attention back to your breathing. Your breathing provides an anchor to which you can return over and over again.

Step 3: Practice being present with your breathing. Again, if your mind wanders, notice the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that distract you and allow them to flow past you like clouds in the sky. Breathe with this perspective for one minute.

Step 4: As this exercise comes to an end, slowly allow your attention to expand, and notice your body and the room around you. When you’re ready, open your eyes and come back to being fully aware of your surroundings. Remember that breathing is a tool that can help you relax and be present at any time.

Step 5: On a scale of 1 to 10, rate how stressed you feel now.

Discuss:

Did the mindfulness exercise help reduce your stress levels?

Tip:

You can do the mindfulness exercise on your own at any time. Consider learning more about mindfulness and other relaxation techniques by using the resources at the end of this chapter.

4. Accessing Godly Power

Watch:

“Reach Up to Him in Faith,” available at https://churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/self-reliance-videos [3:54].

Reach Up to Him in Faith

President Russell M. Nelson teaches that just as the woman who was healed by touching the robe of Jesus, we can receive strength and direction by reaching out to Him as well.

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President Dallin H. Oaks taught of Christ’s ability to strengthen us in any situation we face: “He therefore knows our struggles, our heartaches, our temptations, and our suffering, for He willingly experienced them all as an essential part of His Atonement. And because of this, His Atonement empowers Him to succor us—to give us the strength to bear it all. …

“… Our Savior’s Atonement does more than assure us of immortality by a universal resurrection and give us the opportunity to be cleansed from sin by repentance and baptism. His Atonement also provides the opportunity to call upon Him who has experienced all of our mortal infirmities to give us the strength to bear the burdens of mortality. He knows of our anguish, and He is there for us. Like the good Samaritan, when He finds us wounded at the wayside, He will bind up our wounds and care for us (see Luke 10:34). The healing and strengthening power of Jesus Christ and His Atonement is for all of us who will ask” (“Strengthened by the Atonement of Jesus Christ,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2015, 62, 64).

Discuss:

How can always remembering the Savior help you better manage stress and anxiety?

ACTIVITY (10 minutes)

Step 1: On your own, read the following ways to manage stress and anxiety. Circle the ideas you may want to try.

1. Talk with God. Know that He understands. Imagine Him sitting close to you, listening and offering support.

2. Ponder. Reflect on times you’ve felt blessed by the Lord and seen His hand and mercy in your life. “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

3. Look at your expectations. Sometimes our greatest worries and stress come when life doesn’t turn out the way we hoped or planned. We can learn from our stressful experiences. “All these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good. … Therefore, hold on thy way” (Doctrine and Covenants 122:7, 9).

4. Take a short break. Take several slow, deep breaths, stretch, and relax physically. When your body and mind are calm again, you will be able to think more clearly. Take a walk, get some food or a drink, or just sit and think for a few minutes.

5. Be aware of when you’re stressed. Sometimes you may not realize you’re stressed. You may experience difficulty sleeping, get angry easily, feel depressed, or have low energy. Check in with yourself at least once a day to see how you are doing.

6. Focus on gratitude. Notice what is around you. Focus for a few minutes on what is right, good, and positive about yourself and the world. Start a gratitude journal, and write at least five specific things you are grateful for each day.

7. Be active. We have been given a body and a world to enjoy. Make a plan to use your body to get out and enjoy these gifts. Even a few minutes of walking can help boost your mood and reduce stress.

8. Limit technology use. Using social media, computers, and TVs, especially at the start and end of the day, can increase feelings of anxiety or stress. Try starting and ending your day without phones or computers. Go a day or week without social media or TV and see how you feel.

9. Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself with the same kind, comforting words you would use with a loved one. Thoughts of helplessness, hopelessness, or harsh condemnation are not from God and cause more stress and anxiety.

10. Help someone else. Refocus your energy by serving someone else. Our ultimate goal is to love others like Christ did, even when we are struggling. Christ gave us an example of this love when He forgave His persecutors and made sure His mother would be cared for even as He suffered on the cross. As hard as it can be, we can get better perspective on our lives when we stop and think of others and look for ways to help.

11. Try a relaxing activity. Everyone relaxes in different ways. Maybe you enjoy painting, listening to music, reading a book, or being outside. When you are stressed or anxious, take time to remember what brings you joy and calms you. Make time to do those things, even if you think you are too busy.

12. Stay connected with friends and family. Being with those who love and support you can help reduce stress. You were made for connection. There is no shame in sharing what you’re going through. Help your friends and family understand what you are experiencing.

13. Take it one step at a time. You can ask yourself, “What is the most important thing I can be doing right now?” Your answer might be something like “All I need to do right now is wait for my bus” or “All I have to do right now is clean the dishes.” Decide what must get done now and what can wait. Learn to not feel guilty for saying “no” to something that can wait.

14. Practice mindfulness. Use the exercises in the previous activity and at the end of this chapter to practice being present. Find ways to remind yourself to be more present throughout the day.

Step 2: In the table below, individually write a few of the ideas to reduce stress and anxiety that you want to try. Make a plan for when and how you will use the technique.

Way to Reduce Stress and Anxiety	When and How
Way to Reduce Stress and Anxiety Example Take a short break.	When and How I will set a reminder on my phone to take five-minute breaks at lunchtime and before returning home from work.
Way to Reduce Stress and Anxiety	When and How
Way to Reduce Stress and Anxiety	When and How
Way to Reduce Stress and Anxiety	When and How

5. Perfectionism

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Perfectionism is the belief that if we are not perfect in everything, we are a failure and not good enough for God or anyone else. However, we know the Lord has given us weakness to help us stay humble and teachable (see Ether 12:27).

Regarding perfection, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught:

“Our only hope for true perfection is in receiving it as a gift from heaven—we can’t ‘earn’ it. Thus, the grace of Christ offers us not only salvation from sorrow and sin and death but also salvation from our own persistent self-criticism. …

“Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. … If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection” (“Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2017, 41–42).

Read:

Here are four principles for increasing self-compassion and decreasing perfectionism:

1. Become aware of perfectionism in our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

2. Challenge those thoughts, feelings, and actions.

3. Accept our mistakes as part of life, and don’t fear making mistakes.

4. Develop self-compassion; accept and love yourself, including your imperfections.

Watch:

“Perfectionism: Will I Ever Be Good Enough?” available at https://churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/self-reliance-videos [3:54].

Perfectionism: Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not good enough for God or anyone else? Chances are you’ve had a bout with perfectionism. Whether you know it or not, God’s Grace reaches everyone—including perfectionists.

Discuss:

In the video, how did Olivia become more self-compassionate and challenge her perfectionism?

Group Evaluation (10 minutes)

We have been meeting as a group for the last four weeks. On your own, answer each of the following questions honestly about your experience so far.

How Do I Feel About This Experience?	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always
How Do I Feel About This Experience? 1. Each group member reports on his or her commitments.	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always
How Do I Feel About This Experience? 2. Our group starts and ends on time.	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always
How Do I Feel About This Experience? 3. Everyone in the group participates.	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always
How Do I Feel About This Experience? 4. I feel the Spirit at our group meetings.	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always
How Do I Feel About This Experience? 5. I don’t dominate the group discussion.	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always
How Do I Feel About This Experience? 6. I feel a bond with my group members.	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always
How Do I Feel About This Experience? 7. I feel that I’m becoming more emotionally resilient.	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always
How Do I Feel About This Experience? 8. I feel accepted by my group members.	Never	Sometimes	Often	Always

Discuss:

What can we do to improve our group experience?

Notes