‘E lava nai ke u faʻu ha ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki malu mo moʻui lelei?

Te ke lava ʻo faʻu ha ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki moʻui lelei mo malu, neongo te ke ongoʻi ʻoku ngali taʻemalava koeʻuhí ko e ngaohikovia kuó ke fouá. ʻI he ʻalu ʻa e taimí pea ʻi hoʻo feingá, te ke lava ʻo aʻusia ha nonga mo ha fiefia ʻi he fengāueʻaki mo e niʻihi kehé.

Faʻu ha Vā Fetuʻutaki ʻoku Mahuʻingamālié

ʻOku tatau pē hono faʻu ʻo e ngaahi vā fetuʻutakí mo hono tō ʻo e tengaʻi ʻakaú. Naʻe akoʻi ʻe Palesiteni Sipenisā W. Kimipolo, ko e vā fetuʻutakí “ʻoku hangē ha matalaʻiʻakaú, pea ʻoku fie maʻu ke fafanga maʻu pē ʻo hangē ko e sinó” (“Marriage and Divorce” [Brigham Young University devotional, Sept. 7, 1976], 6, speeches.byu.edu). ʻE malava ke fakatupu ʻe hano liʻekina pe ngaohikovia ʻo ha vā fetuʻutaki ʻene hōloá ʻo aʻu pē ki haʻane mate, ʻo hangē ko e mate ʻa ha fuʻu ʻakau tupu mei he ʻikai ke tokangaʻi mo tauhí. ʻOku fie maʻu ke feinga maʻu pē e ongo tafaʻakí fakatouʻosi ʻo ha vā fetuʻutaki, ke langa ha fehokotakiʻanga ʻoku ʻuhingamālie pea malu. ʻOku fie maʻu ke tanumaki, tauhi, pea naʻa mo hono fakaleleiʻi e fehokotaki ʻo e vā fetuʻutaki kotoa pē.

ʻOku kau ki he ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki moʻui leleí ʻa e ngaahi ʻulungaanga hangē ko ení:

• Fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻa hoʻomo tauʻatāina ke filí mo e puleʻi fakataautaha kitá

• Faitotonú

• Loto-falalá

• Felotoi ke feau hoʻomo ngaahi fie maʻú

• Fetuʻutaki tauʻatāina ʻo e ngaahi fakakaukaú mo e ongó

• Fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻa e ngaahi faikehekehé mo e mālohingá

• Fetokoniʻakí

• Fatongiá mo e Taliuí

• Ngaahi fakangatangata mahino kuo fokotuʻu

• Fakaʻapaʻapaʻi e ngaahi ngataʻanga e niʻihi kehé

Mahalo ko e meʻa mahuʻinga taha te ke lava ʻo fai ke langaki ai ha ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki mo e niʻihi kehé, ko hono fakamālohia ho vā fetuʻutaki mo e ʻOtuá. Kamata ʻaki haʻo ako ke ke vakai kiate koe ʻo hangē ko e ʻafio atu ʻa e ʻOtuá—mo ho tuʻunga malava taʻengatá.

Naʻe akoʻi ʻe Palesiteni Dieter F. Uchtdorf: “Tuku ha taimi ke ke ʻiloʻi lelei ange ai koe. … Ako ke ʻiloʻi koe ʻo hangē ko hono ʻafioʻi koe ʻe he Tamai Hēvaní—ko Hono ʻofefine pe foha ʻoku ʻi ai hono ivi fakalangi”(“ʻO e Meʻa Mahuʻinga Tahá,” Ensign pe Liahona, Nōvema 2010, 22).

ʻI he fakalau ʻa e taimí mo e tokoni ʻa e niʻihi kehé, ʻe kamata ke ke vakai kiate koe ʻi ha tuʻunga makehe pea faʻa kātaki, angaʻofa, fakaʻapaʻapaʻi, peá ke fakamolemoleʻi pē koe. Te ke lava ʻo ako ke liliu hoʻo ngaahi tui mo e ongo ʻoku ʻikai leleí. Kapau ʻokú ke faingataʻaʻia ʻi hoʻo ngaahi feingá, mahalo te ke fie fakakaukau ki ha faleʻi fakapalōfesinale. Mahalo ʻe fie maʻu foki ke ke fokotuʻu pe toe fokotuʻu ha founga tokoni.

ʻI hoʻo fakamālohia ho vā fetuʻutaki ʻoʻoú pea pehē ki he ʻOtuá, te ke ʻiloʻi ai e founga ke fakaʻaongaʻi e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni tatau ki hono fokotuʻu ha ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki moʻui lelei mo e niʻihi kehé. ʻE ʻomi ʻe he feinga ke fakatupu ha vā fetuʻutaki ʻoku fakafiemālie, lehilehiʻi pea fetokaʻiʻakí ha fiefia kiate koe.

Ngaahi Maʻuʻanga Tokoni ʻi he Komiunitií mo e Siasí

(ʻOku ʻi ai ha niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni ʻi laló, ʻoku ʻikai faʻu, tauhi, pe puleʻi ʻe he Siasi ʻo Sīsū Kalaisi ʻo e Kau Māʻoniʻoni ʻi he Ngaahi ʻAho Kimui Ní. Neongo ʻoku fakataumuʻa e ngaahi naunau ko ʻení ke hoko ko ha ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni makehe, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke poupouʻi ʻe he Siasí ha kanoloto ʻoku ʻikai fenāpasi mo e ngaahi tokāteliné mo e akonakí.)

• “Boundaries,” A Guide to Psychology and Its Practice

• “Setting Healthy Boundaries with Your Child in Recovery,” Sober College Rehab Redefined

• “Setting Boundaries,” Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse (HAVOCA)

• “Teaching Boundaries,” Children’s Center

• “Ko e hā ʻa e Vā Fetuʻutaki Moʻui Lelei?” Ko e Laine Telefoni Fakafonua ki he Fakamamahi ʻi ʻApí

Ngaahi Talanoa Fekauʻaki

• ‘E lava nai ke fakamoʻui au mei he meʻá ni?

• Fēfē kapau ‘oku ou fefāʻuhi mo e falala ki he niʻihi kehé?

• Te u kumi tokoni nai ki fē?