Ngaohikoviá
Fēfē kapau Te U Pehē Ko Hoku Foʻui ʻa e Ngaohikoviá?

“Fēfē kapau Te u Pehē Ko Hoku Foʻui ʻa e Ngaohikoviá?” Tokoni Maʻanautolu ne Ngaohikoviá (2018).

“Fēfē kapau Te u Pehē Ko Hoku Foʻui ʻa e Ngaohikoviá?” Tokoni Maʻanautolu ne Ngaohikoviá.

Fēfē kapau te u pehē ko hoku foʻui ʻa e ngaohikoviá?

Kapau ko ha tokotaha koe ne ngaohikovia, ʻoku ʻikai ke ke haʻisia ki he meʻa naʻe hokó. ʻOku ʻikai mahuʻinga ia pe naʻá ke ʻi fē, koe hā e meʻa naʻá ke lea ʻakí pe faí, koe hā e vala naʻá ke tuí, pe koe hā e meʻa naʻe hoko kimuʻá. ʻI haʻane lea ki he niʻihi ne ngaohikoviá, ne pehē ai ʻe ʻEletā Lisiate G. Sikoti ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá, “ʻOku ou fakamoʻoni ʻi he loto fakamātoato ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke ke ongoʻi haʻisia pe ongoʻi halaia kapau naʻe fakamamahiʻi koe ʻe he ngaahi tōʻonga fakamamahi … ʻa ha taha kehe” (“Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse,” Ensign, May 1992).

ʻOku ʻIkai Ko Ho Foʻui

Neongo ʻe feinga ha niʻihi ke fakapapauʻi atu ʻoku ʻikai ko ho foʻui e ngaohikoviá, ʻoku angamaheni pē ke ke kei tui ko ho foʻui e meʻa naʻe hokó.

ʻOku kau ʻi he ngaahi ʻuhinga ʻe niʻihi ko ʻení ʻa e lava ke ongoʻi ʻe he niʻihi ne ngaohikoviá ko honau foʻuí:

  • Ne ʻosi tukuakiʻi kinautolu ʻoku nau loi.

  • Naʻe talaange ko honau foʻui pē ʻa e hoko e ngaohikoviá.

  • ʻOku nau pehē naʻa nau mei lava pē pe naʻe totonu ke nau taʻofi ia.

  • Naʻe olopoto ʻaupito ʻa e tokotaha faihiá ia.

  • Naʻe ʻai ʻe he taha faihalá ke hangē naʻe fie maʻu pē pe kamataʻi ia ʻe he taha ne ngaohikoviá.

  • ʻOku nau ongoʻi ne nau fai ha meʻa ke fakaʻaiʻai ai ia.

  • Naʻa nau fakakaukau ko ha ʻulungaanga angamaheni pē ia.

  • Ne ʻikai ke nau ʻilo koe meʻa naʻe hokó ko e ngaohikovia.

  • Ne tataki kinautolu ke nau tui kuo pau ke nau fakatomala, ʻo hangē ne nau fai angahala ʻi hono ngaohikovia kinautolú.

ʻOku tatau ai pē pe te ke ongoʻi fēfē, pe ko e hā e meʻa ne talaatú, ʻoku ʻikai tukuakiʻi koe ki he ngaahi tōʻonga ʻa e niʻihi kehé.

ʻOku ʻIkai Ke Ke Haʻisia Ki Ai

ʻI he ngaahi tūkunga ʻo e ngaohikoviá, kuo fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe he tokotaha faihiá ʻa ʻene tauʻatāina ke filí ke fakamamahiʻi koe. ʻOku ʻikai ke ke haʻisia ki ha fili ne fai ʻe ha taha kehe.

ʻI ha lea ne fakahoko ʻi ha fakatahaʻanga lotu ʻa BYU, ne fai ai ʻe Palōfesa Penisimani M. ʻOkilasi ʻa e talanoa fakatātā ko ʻení:

“‘Oku fifili ha niʻihi pe naʻa nau fai ha meʻa hala ʻo hoko ai e tūkungá ni kiate kinautolú. ʻOku fakafehuʻia ʻe ha niʻihi honau ʻulungāngá mo fifili pe naʻe ʻi ai ha meʻa naʻa nau fai ke fakalotolahiʻi ai ʻe tokotaha kehé ke taʻetokanga ki heʻenau ngaahi fakaʻamú—ʻo hangē naʻa nau fakaafeʻi mai e tōʻonga ko ʻení. ʻOku tautautefito ʻeni kapau naʻa nau fai ha ngaahi fili kehe he taimi ne hoko ai e meʻa kuo nau taʻepauʻia ai he taimí ní, ʻe lava ke nau fakakaukau ʻoku ʻi ai pē ʻenau haʻisia ki he meʻa ne hoko kiate kinautolú. Ka ʻoku ʻikai ke ke haʻisia ki he meʻa ne ʻikai te ke loto ki aí! Ko e uho ia ʻo e tauʻatāina ke filí.

“Tuku ke u fakatātā ʻaki ha aʻusia fakataautaha. ʻI he 1990, naʻe hiki ai homau fāmilí ki ha kiʻi kolo siʻisiʻi ne ui ko e Potu Tokaleleí ʻi he fakatonga-hahake ʻo ʻOhaioó. ʻI he pō ʻuluakí, ne hae ʻe ha taha ʻemau kaá pea toʻo e meʻa kotoa pē ne nau fie maʻú. ʻI he taimi ne u ʻilo ai e kaihaʻá, ne lahi ha ngaahi fakakaukau ne haʻu ki hoku ʻatamaí.

“‘Kapau pē ā naʻá ku tau ofi mai pē ki he falé pea mamaʻo mai mei he halá.’

“‘Ko hoku foʻui pē ʻoʻoku; naʻe totonu ke u loka e ʻū matapā ʻo e kaá.’

“‘Meʻa fakavalevale moʻoni ko ʻeku fakakaukau ʻoku mau malu pē he ko e kiʻi kolo siʻisiʻi ʻeni ʻi ʻutá.’

“‘Kapau naʻá ku toe tokanga ange, naʻá ku mei lava ʻo taʻofi ʻeni mei heʻene hokó.’

“ʻOku mou sio ki heʻeku haʻisia ki ha hia ne fai ʻe he taha kehé? Neongo pē ko e fē naʻá ku tau aí, pe naʻe fēfē ʻeku fakakaukau fakavalevalé, pe naʻá ku loka e matapaá pe ʻikai, ʻoku ʻikai ha totonu ʻa ha taha ke ne toʻo e ʻū meʻa ʻi heʻeku kaá taʻe te u fakangofua ia. Naʻe ʻikai ke u haʻisia ki he kaihaʻá. Ka neongo iá, ne ʻotomētiki pē ʻeku tukuakiʻi aú koeʻuhi ko ʻeku fakakaukauloto ki ha ngaahi meʻa kehe naʻe totonu ke u fai.” (“Agency, Accountability, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ: Application to Sexual Assault” [Brigham Young University devotional, Jan. 30, 2018], 5–6, speeches.byu.edu).

ʻI he Tohi ʻa Molomoná ʻoku tau ako ai, “Ko ia ia ʻokú ne fai angahalá, ʻokú ne fai ia ʻiate ia pē; he vakai, ʻoku mou tauʻatāina” (Hilamani 14:30; tānaki atu e mataʻitohi fakahihifí)

Kapau ko ha tokotaha koe ne ngaohikovia, ʻoku ʻikai ko ho foʻui ia. ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke tukuakiʻi koe ki he tōʻonga ʻa e niʻihi kehé ʻo tatau ai pē pe ko e hā e ngaahi tūkungá, pea ʻoku malava ʻo fakafou ʻa e faifakamoʻuí ʻi he Fakamoʻui ko Sīsū Kalaisí.

Ngaahi Maʻuʻanga Tokoni ʻa e Koló mo e Siasí

(ʻOku ʻikai faʻu, tauhi, pe puleʻi e niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni ko ʻení ʻe he Siasi ʻo Sīsū Kalaisi ʻo e Kau Māʻoniʻoni ʻi he Ngaahi ʻAho Kimui Ní. Neongo ʻoku fakataumuʻa e naunau ko ʻení ke hoko ko ha toe maʻuʻanga tokoni, ka ʻoku ʻikai poupouʻi ʻe he Siasí ha kanoloto ʻoku ʻikai fenāpasi mo e ngaahi tokāteliné mo e ngaahi akonakí.)

Ngaahi Fakamatala Fekauʻaki