Ngaahi Fakataha Alēlea Fakafāmilí
Fai ʻe ʻEletā M. Rusell Ballard
ʻO e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá
ʻOku ngāue moʻoni e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻi he taimi ʻoku mateuteu ai e mātuʻá pea fanongo mo kau mai e fānaú ki he fealēleaʻakí.
Siʻoku kāinga ʻofeina, ko hono mālie ia ʻo ʻetau hoko ko e mātuʻá, he ʻoku hangē ʻoku tau toki sai ange hono fai iá hili e lalahi ʻetau fānaú. Te u vahevahe mo kimoutolu ha meʻa he efiafí ni pehē ange mai naʻe mahino ange kiate au ʻi heʻema kamata ʻohake mo Pāpulā ʻema fānau mahuʻingá.
Kuó u toutou fakamamafaʻi ʻi he lolotonga ʻeku ngāue fakaʻaposetoló ʻa e mālohi mo e mahuʻinga ʻo e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí, kau ai e fakataha alēlea fakamisioná, fakasiteikí, fakauōtí, mo e fakahoualotú.
ʻOku ou tui ko e fakataha alēleá ko e founga lelei taha ia ke maʻu ai ha ngaahi ola moʻoni. ʻIkai ngata ai, ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ko e fakataha alēleá ko e founga ia ʻa e ʻEikí pea naʻá ne fakatupu ʻa e meʻa kotoa pē ʻi he ʻunivēsí ʻo fakafou ʻi ha fakataha alēlea fakalangi, hangē ko ia ʻoku fakamatala ʻi he folofola māʻoniʻoní.1
Neongo ia, kuo teʻeki ai ke u teitei lea ʻi ha konifelenisi lahi fekauʻaki mo e meʻa tefito mo mahuʻinga tahá—mahalo ko e mahuʻinga tahá ia—ʻi he ngaahi fakataha alēlea kotoa pē: ʻa ia ko e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí.
ʻOku fie maʻu ke ʻi ai maʻu pē ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí. Ko hono moʻoní, ʻoku nau taʻengata. Ne tau kau ki ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili ʻi he maama fakalaumālié, ʻi heʻetau nofo mo ʻetau mātuʻa fakalangí ʻo hoko ko ʻena fānau fakalaumālié.
ʻI he taimi ʻoku fakahoko ai ʻa e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻi he ʻofa mo e anga faka-Kalaisí, te ne fakafepakiʻi ʻe ia e ivi ʻo e tekinolosia fakaonopooni ʻokú ne faʻa tohoakiʻi ʻetau tokangá mei hano fakamoleki ha taimi mahuʻinga he feohi mo e niʻihi kehé pea ʻe ala ʻomi ai e koví ki hotau ʻapí.
Kātaki ʻo manatuʻi ʻoku kehe ʻa e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ia mei he efiafi fakafāmili ʻi ʻapi ʻoku fai ʻi he efiafi Mōnité. ʻOku nofotaha pē efiafi fakafāmili ia ʻi ʻapí ʻi hono akoʻi ʻo e ongoongoleleí mo e ngaahi ʻekitivitī fakafāmilí. Ka ko e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ia ʻe lava ke fakahoko ʻi ha faʻahinga ʻaho pē he uiké, pea ʻoku meimei ko ha fakataha ia ʻoku—fefakafanongoʻaki ai e ongomātuʻá pea ki heʻena fānaú foki.
ʻOku ou tui ʻoku ʻi ai ha faʻahinga fakataha alēlea fakafāmili ʻe fā.
ʻUluakí, ko ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakalūkufua ʻoku kau ki ai e fāmilí kotoa.
Uá, ko ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili pule ʻoku kau ki ai e tamaí mo e faʻeé.
Tolú, ko ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakangatangata ʻoku kau ki ai e ongo mātuʻá mo ha taha e fānaú.
Faá, ko ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakafoʻituitui ʻoku kau ki ai ha taha ʻo e mātuʻá mo ha taha ʻo e fānaú.
ʻI hono fakahoko kotoa e ngaahi fakataha alēlea fakafāmili ko ʻení, ʻoku fie maʻu ke tāmateʻi e ngaahi meʻangāue fakaʻilekitulōniká kae lava ke fesiofaki mo fefakafanongoʻaki e taha kotoa. Lolotonga e ngaahi fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí pe ngaahi taimi kehe ʻo ka feʻunga ke pehē, te ke lava ʻo ʻai ha kato ke faʻo ai e ngaahi meʻangāue fakaʻilekitulōniká kae lava ʻe he taha kotoa ʻi he fāmilí—kau ai ʻa Mami mo Teti—ʻo faʻo ʻenau telefoní, tepiletí (tablets), mo e MP3 ʻi he kató. Hili ia, te nau lava leva ke fealēleaʻaki fakataha ʻo ʻikai ke toe tali ha fakahohaʻa he Feisipuká (Facebook), pe tali ha pōpoaki telefoni (text), Instagram, Snapchat, pe ʻīmeili.
Tuku ke u vahevahe nounou atu ʻa e founga ʻe lava ke ngāue lelei ai e ngaahi fakataha alēlea fakafāmili ko ʻení.
ʻUluakí, ko e fakataha alēlea fakafāmili kakató, ʻoku kau ki ai e mēmipa kotoa pē ʻo e fāmilí.
ʻOku pehē ʻe he kiʻi tohi tufa ʻa e Siasí ʻoku ui Ko Hotau Fāmilí, “ʻE lava ke fai fakataha ʻa e fakataha alēlea ko ʻení ke aleaʻi e ngaahi palopalema ʻo e fāmilí, ngaahi meʻa fakapaʻangá, faʻu ha ngaahi palani, fepoupouʻaki mo fefakamālohiaʻaki kinautolu, mo felotuaʻaki kinautolu mo e kotoa e fāmilí.”2
ʻOku totonu ke fakahoko e fakataha alēleá ni ʻi ha taimi ne tomuʻa tukupau pea ʻoku meimei ke fakamātoato ange ia ʻi ha toe faʻahinga fakataha alēlea fakafāmili.
ʻOku totonu ke kamata ʻaki ha lotu, pe ko ha hoko atu pē ʻo ha pōtalanoa kuo ʻosi kamata ʻi ha feituʻu. Kātaki ʻo fakatokangaʻi ange ʻe lava pē ke ʻikai ha kamataʻanga pe fakaʻosinga pau ʻo e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí.
ʻOku ʻaonga moʻoni e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻi he taimi ʻoku mateuteu ai e mātuʻá pea fanongo mo kau mai e fānaú ki he fealēleaʻakí.
Tatau ai pē pe ko e hā hotau tuʻunga fakafāmilí, ka ʻoku mātuʻaki mahuʻinga ke mahino kiate kitautolu e tūkunga makehe ʻo e mēmipa takitaha e fāmilí. Neongo ʻe kāinga hotau DNA, kae mahalo ʻe ʻi ai ha ngaahi tuʻunga mo ha tūkunga te tau faikehekehe lahi ai pea ʻe ala fie maʻu ai e fetokoniʻaki angaʻofa ʻa e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí.
Hangē ko ʻení, he ʻikai ke lava ʻe he talanoa mo e fevahevaheʻaki pea mo e ʻofa ʻi he māmaní ke solova ha palopalema fakafaitoʻo pe palopalema fakaeloto ʻoku fehangahangai mo ha taha pe mēmipa ʻo e fāmilí. ʻOku hoko ʻa e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻi he taimi peheé ko ha feituʻu ʻo e uouangataha, ʻo e mateakiʻi, mo e poupou ʻofa lolotonga hono kumi ha tokoni mei tuʻa ko ha solovaʻangá.
ʻE lava ʻa e fānaú, tautautefito ki he lahi tahá, ʻo hoko ko ha tokoni (mentor) lelei ki he fānau iiki angé kapau ʻe ngāueʻaki ʻe he mātuʻá e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ke kole ai ʻenau tokoní mo e poupoú lolotonga e taimi faingataʻá mo e loto mafasiá.
ʻI he foungá ni, ʻoku meimei tatau ai ʻa e fāmilí mo ha uooti. ʻI he taimi ʻoku fakakau mai ai ʻe he pīsopé ʻa e kau mēmipa ʻo e fakataha alēlea fakauōtí, te ne lava ai ke fakaleleiʻi ha ngaahi palopalema pea lahi mo ha ngaahi lelei ʻe lavaʻi, ʻi ha ngaahi founga kuo teʻeki ai ke ne lava kimuʻa ne teʻeki kau ai ʻenau tokoní. ʻI he founga tatau pē, ʻoku fie maʻu ke fakakau ʻe he mātuʻá ʻa e kau mēmipa kotoa ʻo e fāmilí ʻi he fekuki mo e ngaahi polé mo e faingataʻa ʻo e moʻuí. ʻOku fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e mālohi ʻo e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻi he foungá ni. ʻI he taimi ʻoku ongoʻi ai ʻe he kau mēmipa ʻo e fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻoku nau kau atu ki hono fai ʻo ha tuʻutuʻuni, ʻoku nau hoko leva ko ha kau poupou lelei pea lava ke maʻu ha ngaahi ola lelei.
ʻOku ʻikai kau atu e ongomātuʻá mo e fānaú ki he fakataha alēlea fakafāmili kotoa pē. Mahalo ʻe mātuʻaki faikehekehe hoʻomou fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí mei heʻemau fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻi he taimi ne ma ʻohake ai ʻema fānau ʻe toko fitú. Ko e ʻaho ní, ko au pē mo Pāpulā ʻi heʻema fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí, tukukehe kapau te mau fakahoko ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakakātoa ʻo kau ai ʻema fānau lalahí, honau ngaahi malí, pea taimi ʻe niʻihi mo homa makapuná mo e makapuna uá.
ʻE lava kinautolu ʻoku teʻeki mali pea naʻa mo e fānau ako ʻoku nofo mavahe mei ʻapí ʻo muimui ʻi he sīpinga ʻo e fakataha alēlea fakalangí ʻaki haʻanau fakatahaʻi mai honau kaungāmeʻá mo e kaungāloki ke nau fealēleaʻaki fakataha.
Fakakaukau ki he liliu ʻe hoko ki ha fale nofoʻanga kapau ʻe toutou fakataha maʻu pē ʻa e kaungālokí ke lotu, fakafanongo, aleaʻi mo palani fakataha ha meʻa.
ʻE lava ʻe he taha kotoa ʻo fulihi ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili ke fakaʻaongaʻi lelei ai e sīpinga fakalangi ko ʻení kuo fokotuʻu heʻetau Tamai Hēvani ʻofá.
Hangē ko ia kuo lave ki ai kimuʻá, ʻe ʻi ai ha ngaahi taimi ʻe ala tokoni lahi ai ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakalūkufua pe fakatokolahi. ʻE lava ke fakakau ʻi he fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakalūkufuá ʻa e ngaahi kuí mo e fānau lalahi ʻoku ʻikai nofo ʻi ʻapí. Tatau ai pē kapau ʻoku nofo mamaʻo ʻa e ngaahi kuí pe fānau lalahí, te nau lava ʻo kau mai ki he fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻi he telefoní, Skype, pe Facetime.
Mahalo te mou fakakaukauʻi ke fai e fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakalūkufuá ʻi ha Sāpate, ʻa ia ko e ʻuluaki ʻaho ʻo e uiké; ke lava ʻo vakaiʻi ai ʻe he fāmilí e uike kuo hilí mo palani ki he uike hoko maí. Mahalo ko e meʻa tonu ʻeni ʻoku fie maʻu ʻe homou fāmilí ke ʻai ai ʻa e Sāpaté ko ha aʻusia fakafiefia.
Ko e fakataha alēlea fakafāmili hono uá ko ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili pule ko e ongomātuʻá pē ʻoku kau ki aí. ʻE lava ʻe he ongomātuʻá ʻi he taimi fakataha ko ʻení ke vakaiʻi ʻa e tuʻunga ʻo e fie maʻu fakatuʻasino, fakaeloto, mo fakalaumālie ʻa e fānau tamasiʻi pe taʻahine takitaha, pea mo ʻene fakalakalaká.
ʻOku hoko foki ʻa e fakataha alēlea fakafāmili pulé ko ha taimi lelei ke talanoa ai ʻa e uaifí mo e husepānití ki hona vā fakafoʻituituí. ʻI he taimi naʻe fakahoko ai ʻe ʻEletā Hāloti B. Lī ʻema silá, naʻá ne akoʻi mai ha tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻoku ou tui ʻe tokoni lahi ki he ongomātuʻa kotoa pē. Naʻá ne talamai, “ʻOua ʻaupito naʻá mo teitei mohe taʻe te mo tūʻulutui fakataha ʻo fepukeʻakinima, ʻo fai haʻamo lotu. ʻOku fakaafeʻi ʻe he faʻahinga lotu peheé ʻa e Tamai Hēvaní ke ne faleʻi kitautolu ʻi he mālohi ʻo e Laumālié.”
Ko e fakataha alēlea fakafāmili hono tolú ko ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakangatangata. ʻOku fakamoleki fakataha heni ʻe he ongomātuʻá ha taimi mo e fānaú fakatāutaha ʻi he founga totonú (formal) pe ʻi ha founga faingofua pē (informal). Ko ha faingamālie ʻeni ki ha fealēleaʻaki ʻi ha fai ha fili tokamuʻa kau ki ha meʻa te ne fai pe ʻikai ke ne fai ʻi he kahaʻú. ʻI he taimi ʻoku fai ai ʻe faʻahinga tuʻutuʻuni peheé, mahalo te ne fie lekooti ia ke fakaʻaongaʻi ʻi he kahaʻú kapau ʻe fie maʻu. Kapau ʻe ʻiloʻi ho fohá mo e ʻofefiné ko ha tokotaha poupou moʻoni koe, ʻe lava ke fokotuʻu ʻe he fakataha alēlea ko ʻení ha ngaahi taumuʻa mo e kaveinga ngāue ki he kahaʻú. ʻOku toe hoko foki ʻeni ko ha taimi ke fanongo tokanga ai ki he ngaahi hohaʻa mo e faingataʻa ne ala fehangahangai mo e fānaú, hangē ko e lotosiʻí, ngaohikoviá, houtamakí, pe ilifiá.
Ko e fakataha alēlea fakafāmili hono faá ko e fakataha alēlea fakafāmili fakafoʻituitui, ʻoku kau ai ha taha ʻo e ongomātuʻá mo ha taha e fānaú. Ko e faʻahinga fakataha alēlea fakafāmili pehení ʻoku meimei hoko maʻu pē. Hangē ko ʻení, ʻe lava ke fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe ha taha ʻo e mātuʻá mo e taha ʻo e fānaú ha ngaahi faingamālie angamaheni lolotonga ha fononga ʻi ha kā pe ngāue holo ʻi fale. ʻE lava ke hoko ha ʻeva ha taha ʻo e fānaú mo e tamaí pe faʻeé ko ha taimi fakalaumālie mo fakaeloto makehe ke na vāofi ange ai. Fakatohimāhinaʻi kei taimi ʻeni ke lava ʻa e fānaú ʻo sioloto mo ʻamanaki atu ki he taimi makehe te ne feohi toko taha pē ai mo ʻene faʻeé pe tamaí.
Ka ʻe kāinga, ne ʻi ai ha taimi ne hoko ai hotau ʻapí ko e maluʻanga kotoa ne tau fie maʻú, mei he hū noaʻiá mo e ivi tākiekina mei tuʻá. Ne tau lokaʻi ʻa e matapaá, tāpuni ʻa e matapā sioʻatá, pea tāpuni mo e ʻaá, pea tau ongoʻi malu, mo hao ʻi hotau kiʻi ungaʻanga mei he māmani ʻi tuʻá.
Kuo ʻikai ha toe ʻaho pehē ia. He ʻikai ke toe lava ʻe he ngaahi holisi, ngaahi matapā, mo e ngaahi ʻā hotau ʻapí ʻo taʻofi e hū noaʻia ʻoku fai atu mei he ʻInitanetí, Wi-Fi, telefoni toʻotoʻó mo e ngaahi netiueká. Te nau lava ʻo hūfia hotau falé ʻaki ha fanga kiʻi lomiʻi siʻi pē ʻo e mausí pe kīpōtí.
Meʻamālie, he kuo ʻosi foaki ʻe he ʻEikí ha founga ke fakafepakiʻi ʻaki e kovi ʻo e tekinolosiá te ne ala takihalaʻi kitautolu mei he fakamoleki ha taimi lelei he feohi mo hotau fāmili. Kuó Ne fakahoko ʻeni ʻaki hono ʻomi e polokalama fakataha alēleá ke fakamālohia, maluʻi, tokateu, pea mo fakaili ʻetau feohi mahuʻinga tahá.
ʻOku fie maʻu moʻoni ʻe heʻetau fānaú ha mātuʻa ʻoku fie fanongo ange kiate kinautolu, pea ʻe lava ʻe he fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí ʻo ʻoange ha taimi ʻa ia ʻe lava ke femahinoʻaki mo feʻofoʻofani ai e kau mēmipa ʻo e fāmilí.
Naʻe akoʻi ʻe ʻAlamā, “Fealēleaʻaki mo e ʻEikí ʻi he meʻa kotoa pē te ke faí, pea te ne fakahinohinoʻi koe ʻi he meʻa ʻoku leleí.”3 ʻE hanga ʻe hono fakaafeʻi mai e ʻEikí ʻi he lotu ke kau mai ki heʻetau fakataha alēlea fakafāmilí, ʻo fakaleleiʻi ange hotau vaá mo e anga ʻetau feohí. Te tau lava, ʻi he tokoni ʻa e Tamai Hēvaní mo hotau Fakamoʻuí, ke faʻa kātaki, faʻa fakaʻatuʻi, faʻa tokoni, faʻa fakamolemole, mo loto mahino ange ʻi heʻetau lotua ha tokoní. Te tau lava ʻi Heʻena tokoní ke ngaohi hotau ʻapí ko ha kihiʻi konga ʻo hēvani ʻi māmani.
ʻE tokoni e fakataha alēlea fakafāmili ko ē ʻoku muimui ki he sīpinga ʻo e fakataha alēlea ʻi he langí, ʻo fonu ʻi he ʻofa faka-Kalaisí pea tataki ʻe he Laumālie ʻo e ʻEikí, ke tau maluʻi hotau fāmilí mei he ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ne tohoakiʻi ʻetau tokangá, ka te ne lava ʻo kaihaʻasi hotau taimi mahuʻinga ke feohi fakataha aí, pea te ne maluʻi kitautolu mei he ngaahi kovi ʻo e māmaní.
ʻE hanga ʻe ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili ʻoku fakatahaʻi mo e lotú ʻo fakaafeʻi mai e Fakamoʻuí, he kuó Ne talaʻofa: “He ko e potu ko ia ʻoku fakataha ai ʻa e toko ua pe toko tolu, ʻi hoku huafá, te u ʻi ai au mo kinautolu.”4 ʻOku hanga ʻe he fakaafeʻi e Laumālie ʻo e ʻEikí ke kau mai ki he fakataha alēlea homou fāmilí, ʻo ʻomi ha ngaahi tāpuaki ʻoku ʻikai mafakamatalaʻi.
Fakaʻosí, kātaki ʻo manatuʻi ʻe tokoni ha fakataha alēlea fakafāmili ʻoku fakahoko maʻu peé ke tau fakatokangaʻi kei taimi ai e ngaahi palopalema fakafāmilí mo fakaleleiʻi kei taimi kinautolu heʻene kei siʻí; ʻe ʻoange ʻe he fakataha alēleá ki he mēmipa kotoa ʻo e fāmilí ha ongoʻi ʻokú ne mahuʻinga; kae meʻatēpuú ʻe tokoni ia ke tau toe lavameʻa mo fiefia ange ʻi heʻetau feohí mo hotau vā fetuʻutaki ʻi ʻapí. ʻOfa ke faitāpuekina ʻe heʻetau Tamai Hēvaní hotau ngaahi fāmilí ʻi heʻetau fealēleaʻaki fakatahá, ko ʻeku lotú ia ʻi he loto fakatōkilalo pea ʻi he huafa ʻo Hono ʻAlo ʻOfaʻanga ko Sīsū Kalaisi, ʻemeni.