Ko e Maʻu e Mahino Ki he Taʻonakitá: Ngaahi Fakaʻilonga Fakatokangá mo Hono Taʻofí
Ngaahi Taá © iStock/Thinkstock
Naʻe taʻu 16 ʻa Kēvini ʻi he lolotonga vete ʻene ongomātuʻá. ʻI he meimei taimi tatau pē, naʻe ʻikai ke ne toe fakaʻaongaʻi ʻene faitoʻo ki he mahaki teté (epilepsy), ʻa ia naʻe tokoni ke taʻofi ʻene loto ʻitá. Naʻe ʻikai ke ne ʻiloʻi kuo puke he ʻāvanga femaleleakí (bipolar disorder), pea kamata ke hē ʻene fakakaukaú (paranoia), hoholo kovi (debilitating mania) mo loto mafasia lahi fau. Naʻe hangē naʻe ʻikai toe ʻaonga ha faitoʻó. Naʻe aʻu ki ha tuʻunga naʻá ne ongoʻi foʻi he meʻa kotoa pē, pea fakakaukau ai ke toʻo ʻene moʻuí ʻo ʻikai ʻai ke ʻilo ʻe ha niʻihi kehe ʻene taumuʻá.
ʻOku toe fakamatalaʻi ʻe Kēvini ʻa e ʻaho naʻe feinga ai ke toʻo ʻene moʻuí ʻo pehē: “Naʻá ku tangi. Naʻá ku fuʻu helaʻia, mo vaivai fakaeloto. Naʻá ku sio pē ki he kakaí, mo fakaʻamu, pehē ange mai ʻe pehē mai ha taha, ʻʻOkú ke SAI pē?’ Neongo ʻeku fie maʻu iá, ka naʻá ku ongoʻi ha ngaahi leʻo ʻoku pehē mai [ʻi heʻeku fakakaukaú], ʻʻOku fie maʻu ke ke mate.’ … Naʻá ku feinga he taimi kotoa ko ʻení ke ʻoua te u [fakahoko ia], ka naʻe fuʻu mālohi ʻa e ngaahi leʻó, ʻo ʻikai ke u toe lava ʻo fakafepakiʻi.”1
Ko e fakamamahí, he naʻe ʻikai fakatokangaʻi ʻe ha taha ʻene faingataʻaʻiá. ʻI heʻene tui naʻe ʻikai tokanga ange ha tahá, naʻe feinga leva—kae meʻamālie he naʻe moʻui pē.
ʻE lava ʻapē ke tau ongoʻi ha niʻihi ʻo siʻene faingataʻaʻiá mo e holiholivalé, pea mo siʻene kole fakalongolongo ki ha tokoní?
Ko e taonakitá ko e taha ia ʻo e ngaahi ʻahiʻahi faingataʻa taha ʻi he moʻui fakamatelié, ʻo tatau pē kinautolu ʻoku fakakaukau ke taonakitá pea mo e kau mēmipa moʻui ʻo e fāmilí fakatouʻosi. Naʻe pehē ʻe ʻEletā M. Lāsolo Pālati ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá: “ʻOku ou tui ʻoku ʻikai ha toe taimi ʻe faingataʻa ange ki ha fāmili ka ko hano toʻo ʻe ha taha ʻoku nau ʻofa ai ʻene moʻuí. Ko e taonakitá ko ha aʻusia fakafāmili fakamamahi.”2 ʻI heʻetau fakakaukau ki he mafatukituki ʻo e ʻahiʻahí ni, tau aleaʻi muʻa (1) ʻa e meʻa ʻoku tau ʻilo fekauʻaki mo e taonakitá, kau ai hono ngaahi fakaʻilonga fakatokangá mo e meʻa te tau lava ʻo fai ke tokoni ke taʻofí; (2) meʻa ʻe lava ke fai ʻe he kau mēmipa moʻui ʻo e fāmilí pea mo e koló; pea mo e (3) meʻa ʻoku fie maʻu kotoa ke tau fai ke fakamālohia ʻetau ʻamanaki leleí mo e tui kia Kalaisí, ke ʻoua naʻa mole ʻetau ʻamanakí.
Ko e Mahino Ki he Taonakitá
ʻOku taonakita ha kakai ʻe toko 800,000 tupu he taʻu kotoa pē ʻi he funga māmaní.3 ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻeni, ʻoku toʻo ʻe ha taha ʻi he māmaní ʻene moʻuí ʻi he sekoni ʻe 40 kotoa pē. ʻOku ngalingali ʻoku māʻolunga ange ʻa e fika totonú he ko e taonakitá ko ha meʻa pelepelengesi mo taʻe-fakalao ʻi ha ngaahi fonua ʻe niʻihi pea ko ia ai ʻoku siʻi ke lipooti. Ko e taonakitá ko e tupuʻanga fika ua lahi taha ia ʻo e maté ʻi he kakai he vahaʻa ʻo e taʻu 15 ki he 29. ʻI ha ngaahi fonua lahi, ʻoku māʻolunga taha ʻa e taonakitá ʻi he kakai taʻu 70 tupú. ʻOku uesia fakahangatonu ʻe he taonakitá pe ʻi ha ngaahi founga kehe e konga lahi hotau sosaietí.
Ngaahi Fakaʻilonga Fakatokangá
Te tau lava ʻo aʻusia ha loto mafasia lahi fau ʻi he taimi ʻoku hangē ai ʻoku ʻikai ke tau toe malava ke fehangahangai mo e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻo e moʻuí. ʻI he ongoʻi ʻe ha taha ʻoku ʻikai ke ne kei lavaʻi e ngaahi faingataʻaʻia fakaelotó, e lava ke hē e fakakaukau ʻa ha taha pea iku ʻo ne pehē ko e maté pē taha ʻene filí. Te nau ala ongoʻi he ʻikai toe lava ha taha ʻo tokoni, pea iku ai ki he mavahe mei he sosaietí pea toe fakalalahi ange ai ʻa e faingataʻá mo e ongoʻi liʻekiná mo e mole ʻo e ʻamanakí, pea iku ai ke fakakaukau ko e taonakitá pē ʻa e filí.
Ko e taimi ʻoku fakahaaʻi ai ʻe ha taha ha taha ʻo e ngaahi fakaʻilonga fakatuʻutāmaki ko ʻení,4 ʻoku totonu ke tau kumi tokoni leva ki ha taha tokoni fakaʻatamai pe ngaahi potungāue tokoni fakavavevave hangē ko e kau polisí:
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Fakamanamana ke fakalaveaʻi pe toʻo ʻenau moʻuí
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Kumi ha ngaahi founga pe meʻa ke tamateʻi ʻaki kinautolu
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Talanoa pe tohi fekauʻaki mo e maté, pe taonakitá
ʻE ala hoko ʻa e ngaahi fakaʻilonga ko ʻení ko ha meʻa ʻoku ʻikai fuʻu fakatuʻutāmaki fēfē, ka ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke tau momou ke fai ha tokoni mo kumi ha tokoni maʻá e tokotaha ʻokú ne fakahaaʻi ha niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi fakaʻilongá ni:
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Fakahaaʻi e mole ʻo e ʻamanakí mo e taumuʻa ke moʻui aí
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Fakahaaʻi e fakapoʻuli pe ʻita pe feinga sāuni
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Tōʻonga fakavalevale
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Ongoʻi haʻihaʻisia
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Fakaʻaongaʻi lahi ange e ʻolokaholó pe faitoʻo kona tapú
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Fakamavahevahe mei he kaungāmeʻá, fāmilí, pe sosaietí
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Ongoʻi hohaʻa pe ʻitangofua pe feliliuaki lahi ʻene tōʻongá
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Faingataʻa ke mohe pe ʻoku mohe maʻu pē
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Ongoʻi ko ha kavenga ia ki he niʻihi kehé
ʻOku ʻikai fakahā ʻe he taha kotoa ʻoku feinga ke taonakitá ʻenau taumuʻá ki he niʻihi kehé, ka ʻoku fakahaaʻi ʻe he tokolahi tahá ha ngaahi fakaʻilonga fakatokanga hangē ko ʻení. Ko ia, tokanga fakamātoato ki he ngaahi fakaʻilonga ko ʻení!
He ʻikai ke lava ʻo fakamahuʻingaʻi feʻunga e ʻaonga ʻo e ngaahi kaungāmeʻa mo e fāmili tokanga moʻoní, ʻo tatau ai pē kapau ʻoku ʻikai maʻu ha tokoni fakapalofesinale.
Taʻofí
ʻOku ʻi ai ha fatongia mahuʻinga ʻo e fāmilí mo e kaungāmeʻá ʻi he taimi ʻoku lotoʻi taonakita ai ha tahá. Hangē ko ia ne akoʻi ʻe ʻAlamaá, kuo pau ke “fefuaʻaki ʻa hoʻomou ngaahi kavengá, koeʻuhi ke nau maʻamaʻa; … tangi fakataha mo kinautolu ʻoku tangí; ʻio, pea fakafiemālieʻi ʻa kinautolu ʻoku ʻaonga ki ai ʻa e fakafiemālié” (Mōsaia 18:8, 9).
Ko ha ngaahi meʻa ʻaonga ʻeni ʻe lava ke fai ʻe he fāmilí mo e kaungāmeʻá:
Tokoniʻi mo fakafanongo ʻi he ʻofa. Hangē ko e faleʻi ʻa ʻEletā Pālatí, “ʻOku ʻikai ha meʻa ia ʻe mālohi ange ʻi he nima ʻofa ʻe lava ke ne ʻōʻōfaki kinautolu ʻoku faingataʻaʻiá.”5 Naʻe akoʻi ʻe ʻEletā Teili G. Lenilani ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá, “Kuo pau ke tau vakai kiate kinautolu ʻaki e fofonga … ʻo e Tamai Hēvaní.” “Ko e toki taimi ia te tau lava ai ʻo ongoʻi e tokanga ʻa e Fakamoʻuí kiate kinautolú. … ʻE hanga ʻe he fakakaukau ko ʻení ʻo fakaava hotau lotó ke tau ongoʻi e ʻamanaki-tō-noa, manavasiʻi mo e loto mamahi ʻa e niʻihi kehé.”6
Tokoni ʻi he ngaahi meʻa mahino. Kapau ʻoku foua ʻe ha taha ha faingataʻa ʻokú ne uesia ʻene malú mo ʻene ngaahi tefitoʻi fie maʻú, feinga ke ke fai ha tokoni mahino, kae tuku ke fili pē ʻa e taha ko iá pe te ne tali pe ʻikai. Hangē ko ʻení, kapau ʻoku fakakaukau taonakita ha taha ʻi ha mole ʻene ngāué, ʻe ʻoange ʻe hono tokoniʻi ke kumi ha ngāué ha ngaahi meʻa ke fili mei ai pea mo tokoni ke fakatauʻatāinaʻi ia mei he ongoʻi haʻisiá.
ʻEke ange pe ʻoku nau fakakaukau ke taonakita. Ko e taimi ʻokú ke loto hohaʻa ai ʻi he loto mafasia ʻa ha taha pea hā mei ai e ngaahi fakaʻilonga fakatokanga ʻo e taonakitá, ʻeke ange pe ʻoku fakakaukau ke taonakita. Mahalo ʻe ala faingataʻa ke fai ia, ka ko e lelei tahá ke ʻeke fakahangatonu pe ʻoku nau fakakaukau ke taonakita. Te ne ala fakaʻatā ai ha faingamālie ke fakamatala ʻa e tokotahá ki hono ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá mo e meʻa ʻoku hohaʻa ki aí.
Ko ha ngaahi sīpinga ʻeni ʻo e faʻahinga fehuʻi peheé “Ko ha meʻa ʻena ia ʻoku ngali fuʻu lahi ke fuesia ʻe ha taha. ʻOkú ke fakakaukau ke taonakita?” pe “ʻI he ngaahi mamahi kotoa ʻokú ke fouá, ʻoku ou fie ʻilo pe ʻokú ke fakakaukau ke taonakita.” Kapau ʻoku ʻikai fakakaukau ke taonakita, ʻoku ngalingali te ne talaatu pē.
Kapau ʻokú ke ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai ke lea moʻoni atu fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi fakakaukau taonakitá, tokanga ki he ueʻi ʻa e Laumālié ke ke ʻilo e meʻa ke faí. Mahalo naʻa ueʻi koe ke ke kei nofo pē mo kinautotu kae ʻoua kuo talanoa moʻoni atu.
Nofo mo e tokotahá mo kumi ha tokoni. Kapau ʻe talaatu ʻe ha taha ʻoku fakakaukau ke taonakita, nofo mo ia mo ʻai ke ne talanoa atu fekauʻaki mo e meʻa ʻoku faingataʻaʻia aí. Kapau ʻoku fakamatala ki ha ngaahi founga mo ha taimi pau ki he taonakitá, tokoni ke tā ki ha laine telefoni tokoni pe potungāue tokoni fakaʻatamai fakalotofonua.
Ngaahi Tali ki ha Taonakitá
ʻOku toʻo ʻe ha kakai ʻe niʻihi ʻenau moʻuí, tatau ai pē pe ʻoku hā meiate kinautolu e ngaahi fakaʻilonga fakatokangá pe ʻikai. ʻOku faʻa foua ʻe he kau mēmipa moʻui ʻo e fāmilí mo e kaungāmeʻá ha mamahi lahi, hulufau, mo faingataʻa, ʻi he taimi ʻoku nau fehangahangai ai mo e aʻusia fakamamahi ʻo e taonakita ha taha ʻoku nau ʻofa ai. ʻE ala kau ʻi he ngaahi tali ko iá ʻa e ngaahi meʻá ni:
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Mā mo ongoʻi fakamāʻia
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ʻOhovale mo fakatumutumu
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ʻIta, fiemālie, pe loto halaia
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Fufuuʻi e tupuʻanga ʻo e maté
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Fakamavahevahe mei ha toe feohi fakasōsiale mo uesia e ngaahi fetuʻutaki fakafāmilí
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Ngāue longomoʻui mo kau mālohi atu ʻi he feinga ke taʻofi e taonakitá
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Holi lahi fau ke mahino e ʻuhingá
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Ongoʻi liʻekina mo fehiʻanekina
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Tukuakiʻi e pekiá, ko kita, niʻihi kehé mo e ʻOtuá
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Fakautuutu e fakakaukau ki he taonakitá mo e ngaahi ongo ke fai ha meʻa kiate kitá
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Fakautuutu e loto mafasiá he faʻahitaʻu mālōloó pea mo e taʻu taha ʻo e pekiá7
Meʻa ʻe Lava ke Fai ʻe he Ngaahi Fāmili Moʻuí mo e Koló
Fakaʻehiʻehi mei he fakamāú. Neongo ko e taonakitá ko ha meʻa mafatukituki, ka ʻoku toe fakamanatu mai foki ʻe ʻEletā Pālati: “Ko hono moʻoní, ʻoku ʻikai ke tau ʻiloʻi e tūkunga kānokato ʻo e taonakita kotoa. Ko e ʻEikí pē ʻokú Ne ʻafioʻi kotoa ʻa e ngaahi fakaikiikí, pea ko Ia te Ne fakamāuʻi ʻetau ngaahi ngāue ʻi he māmaní. ʻI he taimi ʻe fakamāuʻi ai kitautolu [ʻe he ʻEikí], ʻoku ou ongoʻi te Ne fakakaukauʻi ʻa e ngaahi meʻa kotoa pē: ʻa hotau afaá mo hotau faʻungá, ʻa hotau tuʻunga potó, hotau tuʻunga fakaʻatamaí, ngaahi akonaki kuo tau maʻú, ngaahi tukufakaholo ʻa ʻetau ngaahi tamaí, ʻetau tuʻunga moʻui leleí, mo e ngaahi meʻa peheé.”8
Tukuange pea mo fakaʻapaʻapaʻi e founga tēngihia makehe ʻo e tokotaha takitaha. ʻE tēngihia ʻa e kakaí ʻi ha ngaahi founga kehekehe, he ʻoku kehekehe ʻenau fekauʻaki mo e taha pekiá mei he niʻihi kehé. Ko ia, tali pea mo fakaʻapaʻapaʻi e founga ʻoku aʻusia takitaha ai ʻe he taha kotoa ʻa e mamahí.
Ko e taimi ʻoku mole ai ha taha ʻoku tau ʻofa ai, ʻe lava ke lōmekina kitautolu ʻe ha ngaahi ongo fakaelotó. Neongo ia, ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga hono aʻusia e mamahí ko ha siʻi ʻo e tuí. Naʻe folofola ʻa e Fakamoʻuí, “Ke mou nofo fakataha ʻi he ʻofa, ʻo aʻu ki hoʻomou tangi koeʻuhi ko e mole ʻa kinautolu ʻoku maté” (T&F 42:45). Ko e loto mamahí ko ha fakaʻilonga ia ʻo ʻetau ʻofa ki hotau ngaahi ʻofaʻanga kuo pekiá pea mo e mahuʻinga kiate kitautolu ʻetau fetuʻutakí.
Kole ha tokoni. ʻE lava ke mou ongoʻi lōmekina ʻi hoʻomou loto mamahí. ʻE lava e kumi tokoní ʻo ʻoange ha ngaahi faingamālie toputapu ki he niʻihi kehé ke nau ʻofa mo tokoni atu. ʻE lava ke fakamoʻui mo fakamālohia koe mo kinautolu foki ʻi hono fakaʻatā ke nau tokoni atú.
Kei fetuʻutaki maʻu pē mo kinautolu. ʻOku mamahi fakapulipuli pē ha kakai ʻe niʻihi pea aʻu he taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻo ʻikai ha toe felōngoaki, ko ia, fetuʻutaki maʻu pē mo homou ngaahi fāmilí mo e kaungāmeʻá. Toutou fetuʻutaki ki homou ngaahi fāmilí, kāingá, mo e kaungāmeʻa ʻoku loto mamahí, pea fai ha tokoni he mahalo he ʻikai ke nau kumi tokoni mai kiate koe.
Falala ki he Fakamoʻuí. Ko hono aofangatukú, ko e Fakamoʻuí ʻa e maʻuʻanga ʻo e fakamoʻuí mo e nongá. “ʻOku … ʻomai foki Heʻene Fakaleleí ha faingamālie ke tau lotu kiate Ia kuó Ne foua ʻa ʻetau ngaahi mamahi fakamatelie kotoa pē pea mo ʻomi ʻa e ivi ke fuesia ʻa e ngaahi kavenga ʻo e moʻui fakamatelié. ʻOkú Ne ʻafioʻi ʻetau ngaahi mamahí, pea ʻokú Ne ʻi ai ke tokoni mai. Hangē ko e Samēlia leleí, ko e taimi ʻokú Ne ʻilo ai kuo tau kafo he veʻehalá, te Ne haʻihaʻi hotau kafó mo tauhi kitautolu (vakai, Luke 10:34).”9
Tau fakatokangaʻi muʻa ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau falala kotoa ki he ʻEiki ko Sīsū Kalaisí mo ʻEne Fakaleleí ʻi heʻetau feinga ke fai ʻetau tafaʻakí. ʻI he ʻilo loto fakatōkilalo ko iá, tau feinga ke maʻu ha mahino ki hotau fāmili mo e kaungāʻapi ʻoku loto mamahí, tokoni kiate kinautolu ʻi he ʻofa, pea mo kaungā tanumaki fakataha ha tui mo ha falala lahi ange ki he Fakamoʻuí, ʻa ia te Ne foki mai ʻo “holoholo ʻa e loʻimata kotoa pē mei honau matá; pea ʻe ʻikai kei ʻi ai ha mate, pe ha ongosia, pe ha tangi, pea ʻe ʻikai kei ʻi ai ha mamahi” (Fakahā 21:4).