Ngaahi Tokoni ʻe Hongofulu ki he Mātuʻa ʻa e Kakai Lalahi Kei Talavoú
ʻOku nofo ʻa e tokotaha naʻá ne faʻú ʻi ʻIutā, USA.
Neongo e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku ʻi he māmaní he ʻaho ní, ʻe lava ke kei hoko atu hono faitāpuekina ʻe he mātuʻá ʻenau fānau lalahi kei talavoú ʻaki hono fakahoko ha tokoni mo ha tataki ʻoku angatonú.
ʻI he taimi ne u tokoni ai mo hoku husepānití ke ʻave ʻema fānaú ki he fale mohe ʻo e kolisí pe hū ki he senitā akoʻanga fakafaifekaú, naʻá ma ongoʻi loto mamahi fakataha mo ha ongoʻi tauʻatāina ʻi he fakakaukau ko kinautolu—mo mauá—“kuo lava” homau fatongiá. Neongo ia, ne vave pē haʻama fakatokangaʻi, ʻoku haʻu fakataha pē ʻa e falala mo e tauʻatāina foʻou ʻoku maʻu heʻema fānaú mo ha ngaahi faingataʻa kehe. Neongo kuo ʻosi ʻema pule totonu ki heʻenau moʻuí ka ʻoku toe fakautuutu ange—ʻenau fie maʻu tokoní—ʻi ha faʻahinga founga tokoni kehe.
Ngaahi Faingataʻa ʻo e ʻAho ní
Ko ha niʻihi ʻeni ʻo e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku fehangahangai mo e kakai lalahi kei talavoú ʻi he māmaní he ʻaho ní, fakataha mo e ngaahi fehuʻi ʻoku fakatupu ʻe he ngaahi faingataʻa ko iá maʻá e mātuʻá.
Ko ha vahaʻataimi lōloa ange ʻo e nofo taʻe malí. ʻE lava ʻe he ngaahi sīpinga ʻa e sosaietí ki he nofomali mo hono ʻohake ha fānaú ʻo ʻai ke ongoʻi ʻe he kakai lalahí ʻoku nau hangē pē ha kau leká. ʻOku mafasia e niʻihi, mo fifili pe te nau toe mali koā pe maʻu ha fānau. ʻI hotau fatongia ko e mātuʻá, ko e hā e tokoni lelei taha te tau fai ke nau maʻu ai ha fakakaukau ʻoku taʻengatá?
Taʻepau e tuʻunga fakapaʻangá. ʻOku tokolahi e kakai lalahi kei talavou he ʻahó ni he ʻikai ke tatau ʻenau ongoʻi malu fakaʻekonōmiká mo ʻenau mātuʻá. Mahalo te nau ʻiloʻi ʻoku faingataʻa ke maʻu ha ngāue—neongo kuo maʻu ha mataʻitohi mei he ʻunivēsití—pe tokonaki maʻá e fāmilí. ʻOku totonu nai ʻi heʻetau hoko ko e mātuʻá ke tau tokoniʻi fakapaʻanga kinautolu, pe ʻoku totonu ke tau fakakaukau ʻe ako pē heʻetau fānaú ke tokangaʻi lelei ʻenau ngaahi meʻa fakapaʻangá?
Ngaahi fili ʻe lomekiná. Mahalo ʻoku lava ke maʻu ʻe he kakai lalahi kei talavou ʻo e ʻaho ní ha ngaahi ngāue maʻuʻanga moʻui lahi ke nau fili mei ai. Ka ʻi he taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻe ngali fuʻu taulōfuʻu ʻa e ngaahi fili ko iá. ʻE tokoni fēfē ʻa e mātuʻá ki heʻenau fānau lalahí ke nau fekumi ki ha meʻa ke fili mei ai mo toe fakakaukauʻi ha ngāue ʻe fakafiemālié?
Nofo fakataha mo e mātuʻá. ʻOku tatau ai pē ʻoku mali pe teʻeki ke mali, ʻoku tokolahi ha kakai lalahi kei talavoú ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e taʻu 18 mo e 34 ʻoku nau nofo fakataha pē mo e mātuʻá. ʻI he taimi ʻoku nofo fakataha ai e fānau lalahí mo ʻenau mātuʻá, ko e hā e founga ʻoku totonu ke fealeaʻaki lelei ai e mātuʻá ʻi he ngaahi meʻa hangē ko hai te ne totongi e meʻakaí mo e founga ki hono fakatonutonu ʻo e makapuná?
Kau ki ha tui fakalotu. ʻI he ʻaho ní, ko e kakai lalahi kei talavou mei he ngaahi tui fakalotu kotoa pē ʻoku hangehangē he ʻikai ke nau kei nofomaʻu ai pē ʻi ha siasi ne nau ʻi ai ʻi ha toʻutangata ʻe taha kuo hilí. ʻI heʻetau hoko ko e mātuʻá, te tau poupouʻi fēfē ʻetau fānau lalahí ke nau kei mālohi pē ʻi he Siasí? Te tau poupouʻi fakalaumālie fēfē kinautolu neongo kapau te nau fili ke mavahe mei he Siasí?
Ngaahi Fakahinohino maʻá e Mātuʻá
Neongo pē ka laka ange ʻetau fānaú ʻiate kitautou ʻi ha ngaahi meʻa te nau malavá pe lavameʻa, ka te nau kei fie maʻu pē ʻetau tokoni ko e mātuʻá ki ha moʻui ʻoku lavameʻá. ʻOku ʻoatu heni ha ngaahi fakahinohino ʻe 10 ke fai hano fakakaukauʻi.
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ʻIloʻi e fie maʻu mo e meʻa ʻoku saiʻia ai hoʻo fānaú. ʻOua naʻa tala pē ki hoʻo fānau lalahí ʻa e founga ke maʻu ai e meʻa ʻokú ke fakakaukau ʻoku nau fie maʻú, ʻeke e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku nau mahuʻingaʻia aí, taumuʻá, mo e fakaʻamú. Mahalo te nau kole atu ke ke tokoni ange ke fikaʻi ha founga ke maʻu ai ia. Kapau te nau fai iá, tuku ke tataki ʻe heʻenau ngaahi fakaʻamú hoʻomou talanoá. Vakaiʻi ʻa e ngaahi leleí mo e koví, lotu ke maʻu ha fakahinohino, mo hokohoko atu pē ʻa e talanoá. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke nau ʻiloʻi e meʻa ʻoku nau fie maʻú, poupouʻi kinautolu ke nau fakataha mo ha tokotaha faleʻi ki he fai fakahinohinó, fai ha ngaahi sivi fakaengāue ʻoku manako aí, pe maʻu ha taukei lahi ange ʻi he ngāué mo e ngāue ʻofá.
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Ako ʻi he faʻa lotu Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 121: 34–46. ʻOku ʻuhinga lelei ʻa e ngaahi veesi ko ʻení ki he ngaahi faʻeé mo e ngaahi tamaí. ʻOku nau akoʻi ʻa e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni totonú ki he anga hono fakahoko ha fakahinohino ʻoku angatonú ki heʻetau fānau lalahí.
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Fakamaheni ki ha kakai lalahi kei talavou tokolahi. Te ke lava ke ʻilo ʻoku toe tokanga mai e fānau ʻa e kakai kehé ki he anga hoʻo moʻuí he taimi naʻá ke hoko ai ko ha taha lahi kei talavoú. ʻOku fie ʻilo e kakai lalahi kei talavoú ki he anga hono ʻai ke potupotutatau ʻe he kakai lalahi matuʻotuʻa angé e ngaahi meʻa mahuʻinga heʻenau moʻuí, fili ʻa e ngaahi ngāue maʻuʻanga moʻuí, pe ʻiloʻi e taimi kuo maʻu ai honau malí. ʻI he taimi te ke feohi ai mo e kakai lalahi kei talavoú ni, ʻe lahi ange e mahino te ke maʻu fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku fehangahangai mo e kakai ʻi honau toʻu tangatá.
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Tokoniʻi ke nau ʻilo ʻenau ngaahi meʻafoakí. ʻE tokoni hono tokoniʻi ʻo e kakai lalahi kei talavoú ke nau ʻiloʻi honau talēnití mo e meʻa ʻoku nau manako aí ke nau fakakaukau ai ki ha kahaʻu ʻoku leleí. Fakamahinoʻi kiate kinautolu ʻoku tātātaha ke fiefia e kakaí ʻi ha meʻa kae ʻoua kuo nau tuku ha taimi lahi ke ngāueʻi ia ke nau poto ʻaupito ai. Pea naʻa mo e kakai ʻoku fanauʻi mai mo ha ngaahi talēniti fakanatula lahí kuo pau ke nau fakamoleki ha taimi lahi ke fakatupulaki ia kae lava ke nau lavameʻa.
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Falala ki heʻenau ngaahi filí. ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ʻeni ia ke ke tui ʻe haohaoa maʻu pē ʻenau filí. Ka ʻoku ʻuhinga ia ko e falala ʻe lava ke nau toe foki ʻo fai ha meʻa ʻoku leleí hili ʻenau fehalākí, ʻoku faʻa fakamolemole ʻa e ʻOtuá, pea ko e moʻuí ʻe lava ke ʻuhingamālie lahi neongo ai pē ʻoku kau ai hano ikunaʻi ʻo e ʻikai lava ha meʻá pe kātakiʻi e ngaahi faingataʻá. ʻE lava ke maumauʻi ʻaupito e fānau kei īkí ʻe he faingataʻá, ka ʻoku tupulaki e kakai lalahi kei talavoú mei hono ikunaʻi ʻo e ngaahi faingataʻá ʻo ʻikai hola mei ai. Fai ha tokoni fakaeloto mo fakamātoato, poupouʻi kinautolu ke tuku e loto-hohaʻá, lotu fakataha mo kinautolu mo lotua ʻa kinautolu, pea fai ha fanga kiʻi hua.
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Fakahikihikiʻi kinautolu ʻi heʻenau ngāué. ʻE lava ke tokoni ki he kakai lalahi kei talavoú hono fakahikihikiʻi ʻenau ngāue mālohí mo e loto vilitakí ke nau nofo fuoloa ai ʻi ha foʻi ngāue, hokohoko atu ʻi ha ngaahi faingataʻa lahi ange, mo nau fiefia lahi ange ʻi heʻenau ngāué. Ne vahevahe ʻe Palesiteni Tōmasi Tōmasi S. Monisoni ha moto ʻoku pehē “ʻE hoko e lavameʻá ʻi hono ngāueʻi ha meʻá, ka ko e foʻi fakaʻamu ʻataʻataá he ʻikai ke hoko ha meʻa ia ai.”1
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Fekumi ki ha Tataki Fakalaumālie. ʻOku tokoni ʻetau ngaahi lotú mo e tuí ke tau tali lelei ange hono fakaʻatā e ʻOtuá ke ne liliu kitautolú. ʻOku ʻi ai ha fefine ne u ʻiloʻi naʻe hohaʻa ki he ngaahi polokalama TV ʻoku fakaʻatā heʻene fānau lalahí ke sio ai ʻenau fānaú. Naʻá ne ongoʻi ʻoku hā mei he ngaahi polokalamá e sīpinga ʻo e taʻe-fakaʻapaʻapá mo e keé, neongo hono tala ʻoku lelei pē ia ki he fānaú. Koeʻuhí he naʻe ʻikai ke ne loto ke kaunoa ʻi he sīpinga tauhi fānau ʻene fānau lalahí, naʻá ne toutou lotu mo ʻaukai ki he meʻa te ne fai pe lea ʻakí. Naʻe telefoni mai hono ʻofefine ʻi he fonó ʻi ha pongipongi ʻe taha ʻo kole faleʻi ki he anga hono puleʻi e taʻe fakaʻapaʻapá mo e kē ʻene fānaú. Naʻe vahevahe ʻe hoku kaungāmeʻá ʻene fakakaukau ki he ngaahi polokalama TV, ko ha faʻahinga ivi tākiekina ne teʻeki ke fakatokangaʻi ia ʻe hono ʻofefine ʻi he fonó. Naʻe fakaleleʻi leva ʻe he mātuʻa kei talavoú e palopalemá mo ʻenau fānaú. Naʻe fai ha felotoi ke fai ha ngaahi liliu, pea fakalakalaka kimuʻa e tūkunga ʻo e ʻapí.
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Talanoa fekauʻaki mo e paʻangá. Lolotonga hono fakakaukauʻi hoʻo tuʻunga fakapaʻangá mo e matuʻotuʻa feʻunga ʻa e fānau kotoa pē, fakakaukauʻi ʻi he faʻa lotu pe ko e hā e faʻahinga tokoni fakapaʻanga, ʻe ʻoange ki hoʻo fānaú, kapau ʻoku ʻi ai. Mahalo te nau fie maʻu pē hoʻo tokoní ke faʻu ha patiseti. Kapau ʻokú ke foaki kiate kinautolu ha tokoni fakapaʻanga, fakamahino pē ʻi he kamataʻangá pe ʻokú ke fie maʻu ke totongi fakafoki mai ʻa e paʻangá pe fakaʻaongaʻi ia ʻi ha founga pau. Hili iá pea loto-fiefia ke ʻoange kiate kinautolu e fatongia ke nau tokangaʻi ʻenau paʻangá pea ako mei he ngaahi fehalākí, ʻo kau ai ha ngaahi fehalaaki ko e ʻikai ke maʻu ha paʻanga ke ngāue ʻaki he kahaʻú koeʻuhí he kuo ʻosi kotoa ia hono fakamoleki.
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Loto fakatōkilalo. ʻI he taimi ʻokú ke ongoʻi tautea ai koeʻuhí ko ha ngaahi fehalaaki ʻi hoʻo tauhi fānaú, feinga ke toe fakalahi ange hoʻo loto-fakatōkilaló kae ʻikai ko hoʻo ongoʻi halaiá. Kole fakamolemole ʻi he angaʻofa, fakahā e meʻa te ke fai ke fakaleleiʻi ʻakí, pea toki laka atu ki muʻa ʻi he loto falala moʻoni. Tuku ke mahino ki hoʻo fānaú ʻi heʻenau siofi koé ʻoku lava pē ke fakaleleiʻi e fehalākí, ʻoku ʻikai ko ha fakaʻilonga ʻo ha loto-foʻi ʻa e kole fakamolemolé, pea ʻoku maʻu e nongá ʻi hono fakamolemoleʻi e niʻihi kehé pea mo kitautolu foki.
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Fakafuofuaʻi ʻo e lavameʻa moʻoní. ʻI he taimi ʻoku fuʻu hohaʻa ai ki he anga hono fakamaauʻi kitautolu ʻe he niʻihi kehé ki he anga e fili ʻetau fānaú (tatau ai pē pe ʻoku lelei pe kovi), ʻoku mole leva meiate kitautolu ʻa e taumuʻá, pea faʻa mole leva mo e Laumālié. Manatuʻi ʻoku ʻikai ke makatuʻunga ʻetau lavameʻa ko e mātuʻá mei he anga hono moʻui ʻaki heʻetau fānaú ʻa e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻoku tau tui ki aí ka ʻi he anga ʻetau moʻui ʻaki maʻu pē mo taʻesiokita e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ko iá.
ʻI heʻetau fakakaukauʻi ʻi he faʻa lotu e ngaahi fie maʻu mo e ʻulungaanga ʻetau fānau lalahi kei talavou kotoa pē, ʻe lava ke tokoni e Laumālié ke tau tataki lelei ʻetau fānaú ʻo ʻikai fakaangaʻi kinautolu, tokoniʻi ʻetau fānaú kae ʻoua naʻa fuʻu lahi ange he meʻa ʻoku nau fie maʻú, pea tuku ke nau tauʻatāina kae ʻikai liʻaki kinautolu. ʻI heʻetau fai iá, ʻe falala leva ʻetau fānau lalahi kei talavoú ʻoku tau tuʻu mo e ʻEikí ʻi honau tafaʻakí.