Tefitoʻi Moʻoni ʻo e Ngāue Fakaetauhí

Ko Hono Fakatupulaki ʻo ha Vā Fetuʻutaki ʻoku Mahuʻingamālié

ʻOku tupulaki ʻetau malava ke tokangaekina e niʻihi kehé he taimi ʻoku mahuʻingamālie ai hotau vā mo kinautolú.

Ngaahi ʻatá mei he Getty Images

Ko e fakaafe ke ngāue fakaetauhi ki he niʻihi kehé, ko ha faingamālie ia ke fatu ai ha vā fetauhiʻaki mo kinautolú—ʻa e faʻahinga vā te nau ongoʻi fiemālie ai ke kole tokoni mai pe tali ʻetau tokoní. ʻI heʻetau feinga ke fakatupulaki e faʻahinga vā fetuʻutaki ko iá, ʻe lava leva ʻa e ʻOtuá ʻo liliu e moʻui ʻa e ongo tafaʻakí fakatouʻosi.

Naʻe pehē ʻe Sisitā Sharon Eubank, ko e Tokoni ʻUluaki ʻi he Kau Palesitenisī Lahi ʻo e Fineʻofá, “ʻOku ou tui he ʻikai lava ke fai ha fuʻu liliu lahi ia kapau he ʻikai ha vā fetuʻutaki mahuʻinga.” Pea naʻá ne pehē, ke hanga ʻe heʻetau ngāue tokoní ʻo liliu e moʻui ʻa e niʻihi kehé kuo pau ke fakamaʻunga ia ʻi he “holi fakamātoato ke fakamoʻui mo fakafanongo mo fietokoni pea mo e fakaʻapaʻapa.”¹

Ko e vā fetuʻutaki ʻoku mahuʻingamālié, ʻoku ʻikai ko ha fakaai pē. ʻOku langa ia ʻi he manavaʻofá, feinga fakamātoató pea mo e “ʻofa taʻemālualoí” (T&F 121:41).²

Founga ke Langaki mo Fakamālohia ai e Vaá

Naʻe pehē ʻe ʻEletā Dieter F. Uchtdorf ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá, “ʻOku tau fakatupulaki hotau [vaá] mo e foʻi tokotaha he taimi pē ʻe taha.”³ ʻE lava ke tataki kitautolu ʻe he Laumālie Māʻoniʻoní, ʻi heʻetau feinga ke fakatupulaki hotau vā mo e niʻihi ʻoku ngāue fakaetauhi mai kiate kitautolú. ʻOku ʻoatu e ngaahi fokotuʻu ko ʻení ʻo fakatefito he sīpinga ne ʻomi ʻe ʻEletā ʻUkitofá.⁴

• ʻIlo lahi kiate kinautolu.

  Naʻe akonaki mai ʻa Palesiteni ʻEselā Tafu Penisoni (1899–1994), “He ʻikai ke ke lava ʻo tokoniʻi lelei ʻa e niʻihi ʻoku ʻikai ke ke ʻiloʻi leleí.” Naʻá ne fokotuʻu mai ke tau ʻiloʻi e hingoa e taha kotoa he fāmilí mo ʻiloʻi e ngaahi meʻa mahuʻinga hangē ko e ʻaho fāʻeleʻí, tāpuakiʻí, papitaisó mo e malí. ʻOku maʻu ai heni e faingamālie ke fai ha kiʻi tohi pe telefoni ʻo talamonū ki ha mēmipa ʻo e fāmilí ʻi ha lavameʻa pe ikuna ne fakahoko.⁵

• Mou feohi fakataha.

  ʻOku taimi lahi hono fakatupulaki ha vā. Kumi ha ngaahi faingamālie ke ke paotoloaki ai e fetuʻutakí. ʻOku ʻasi he ngaahi savea ne faí, ʻoku mahuʻinga ki hono fakatupulaki ha vā, ʻete ʻai ke ʻiloʻi ʻe he kakaí ʻete tokangá.⁶ Toutou ʻaʻahi ki he niʻihi ʻoku ui koe ke ke tokoniʻí. Talanoa mo kinautolu ʻi he lotú. Fakaʻaongaʻi ha faʻahinga founga pē ʻe ʻaonga—hangē ko e ʻīmeilí, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Skype, telefoní pe ʻave ki ai ha kiʻi kaati. Naʻe lea ʻa ʻEletā Richard G. Scott (1928–2015) ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá ʻo kau ki he mālohi ʻo hono fakahaaʻi faingofua mo mohu founga ʻo e ʻofá mo e tokoní, ʻo ne pehē: “ʻOku ou faʻa fakaava ʻeku folofolá, … peá u maʻu ha kiʻi tohi ʻofa mo poupou meia Jeanene (hoku uaifí), ne mono ʻi ha taha ʻo e pēsí. … ʻOku kei hoko pē ʻa e ʻū peesi mahuʻinga ko iá … ko ha makakoloa fakafiemālie mo fakalaumālie.”⁷

  Manatuʻi foki ko e fetuʻutakí ʻoku fai toko ua. Te ke lava ʻo foaki hoʻo ʻofá mo e fakakaungāmeʻá, ka he ʻikai ke tupulaki homo vaá ʻo kapau he ʻikai tali hoʻo fietokoní mo fakafoki mai. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai fie tali ia ʻe he tokotahá, ʻoua naʻá ke fakamālohiʻi homo vaá. Tuku ange ha kiʻi taimi ke ne sio ai ʻoku fakamātoato hoʻo ngaahi feingá, pea kapau ʻe fie maʻu, talanoa mo ho kau takí pe ʻe kei malava nai pe ʻikai, ke mahuʻingamālie homo vaá.

• Fetuʻutaki ʻi he loto tokanga.

  Ko hono fakatupulaki ko ia ha vā ʻoku mahuʻingá, ʻoku mahulu atu ia he fakavaʻivaʻingá. Ko e fetuʻutaki ʻoku ʻikai fakamātoató, ʻoku fonu ia he talanoa noaʻia fekauʻaki mo e taimitēpilé, tuʻu e ʻeá, mo ha fanga kiʻi meʻa iiki, ka ʻoku ʻikai kau ai hono vahevahe ʻo e ngaahi ongo ʻoku maʻú, tui fakalotú, ngaahi taumuʻá mo e meʻa ʻoku fai ki ai ha hohaʻá, kae lava ke mahuʻingamālie ange ʻa e fetuʻutakí. Naʻe faʻifaʻitaki mai ʻe he Tamai Hēvaní e founga fetuʻutaki mahuʻinga ko ʻení, ʻaki ʻEne vahevahe mo Hono ʻAló ʻa e ngaahi ongo naʻá Ne maʻú mo ʻEne palaní (vakai, Sione 5:20) pea mo kitautolu ʻo fakafou Heʻene kau palōfitá (vakai, ʻĀmosi 3:7). ʻI heʻetau fevahevaheʻaki e ngaahi meʻa mo e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku hoko fakaʻahó ʻo fakatatau mo e tataki ʻa e Laumālié, ʻoku tau felotohoungaʻiaʻaki ai ʻi heʻetau tokanga mo aʻusia e meʻa tatau peé.

  Ko e fakafanongó, ko ha konga matuʻaki mahuʻinga ia ʻo hono fakahoko atu hoʻo tokangá.⁸ ʻI he taimi te ke fakafanongo tokanga aí, ʻe toe lahi ange ai ho faingamālie ke tokoniʻi e niʻihi kehé ke nau haʻu kia Kalaisi ʻi heʻene mahino kiate koe mo ke ʻiloʻi ʻenau ngaahi fie maʻú pea ʻi heʻenau ongoʻi ʻoku ʻofeina, mahino mo malú.

  

• Fakahoungaʻi e ngaahi faikehekehé mo e faitataú.

  Naʻe pehē ʻe ʻEletā ʻUkitofa, “ʻOku tui ha niʻihi ʻoku loto e Siasí ke oʻi ʻa e mēmipa kotoa pē ke nau tatau—tokua ʻoku totonu ke fōtunga, ongo, fakakaukau, pea mo anga tatau ʻa e taha kotoa.” “ʻE fehangahangai ʻeni mo e poto ʻo e ʻOtuá, ʻa ia naʻá Ne fakatupu ʻa e tangata kotoa ke kehe mei hono tokouá. …

  “ʻOku tupulekina e Siasí he taimi ʻoku tau ngāue ʻaonga ʻaki ai ʻa e faikehekehe ko ʻení mo fepoupouaki ke fakatupulaki mo ngāue ʻaki hotau ngaahi talēnití ke hiki hake mo fakamālohia hotau kaungā ākongá.”⁹

  Kapau ʻoku tau fie ʻofa he niʻihi kehé ʻo hangē ko e ʻofa mai ʻa e ʻOtuá kiate kitautolú, ʻe fie maʻu ia ke tau feinga ke tau vakai ki he niʻihi kehé ʻi he anga e vakai ʻa e ʻOtuá kiate kinautolú. Naʻe akoʻi mai ʻe Palesiteni Thomas S. Monson (1927-2018), “Kuo pau ke tau fakatupulaki e mālohi ke vakai ki he tangatá ʻo ikai ʻi honau tuʻunga lolotongá, ka ʻi he tuʻunga ʻe lava ke nau aʻusiá.”¹⁰ ʻE lava ke tau lotua ha tokoni ke tau vakai ki he niʻihi kehé ʻi he founga ʻoku fai ʻe he ʻOtuá. ʻI heʻetau fakatefito hotau anga ki he niʻihi kehé, ʻi honau tuʻunga malava ke tupulakí, ʻe malava ke nau aʻu ai ki he tuʻunga ko iá.¹¹

• Tokoniʻi kinautolu.

  Ongongofua e ngaahi fie maʻu ʻa e niʻihi ʻokú ke ngāue fakaetauhi ki aí, peá ke loto fiemālie ke foaki ho taimí mo e ngaahi talēnití, ʻo tatau pē pe ko ha taimi faingataʻa pe koeʻuhí pē he ʻokú ke tokanga. ʻE lava ke ke ʻi ai ke fai ha fakafiemālie, poupou mo fie maʻu tokoni ʻi ha taimi naʻe hoko ai ha meʻa fakatuʻupakē, puke pe tūkunga fakatuʻutāmaki. Ka ʻoku lahi e taimi ʻoku tau ʻohoʻoho ai ʻi he konga lahi hotau vaá. Naʻe ʻomi ʻe he ʻOtuá e tauʻatāina ke filí ke tau ngāue kae tali ke fakakounaʻi (vakai, 2 Nīfai 2:14). Hangē ko hono akoʻi mai ʻe he ʻAposetolo ko Sioné ʻoku tau ʻofa ki he ʻOtuá koeʻuhí he naʻá Ne tomuʻa ʻofa maí, (vakai, 1 Sione 4:19), ko e taimi ʻoku ongoʻi ai ʻe he niʻihi kehé ʻetau ʻofa moʻoní ʻi heʻetau tokoní, ʻe lava ke fakamolū ai e lotó mo fakatupulaki e ʻofá mo e falalá.¹² ʻOku fakatupu heni ha faʻahinga tōʻonga ʻofa ʻe lava ke ne fakatupulaki hoto vā mo ha taha.

Ko e Ngāue Fakaetauhi ʻo Hangē ko ia Ne Fai ʻe he Fakamoʻuí

Naʻe fakatupulaki ʻe Sīsū Kalaisi ha ngaahi vā mahuʻinga mo ʻEne kau ākongá (vakai, Sione 11:5). Naʻá Ne ʻafioʻi kinautolu (vakai, Sione 1:47–48). Naʻá Ne feohi mo kinautolu (vakai, Luke 24:13–31). Naʻe ʻikai ʻaiʻainoaʻia ʻEne fetuʻutaki mo kinautolú (vakai, Sione 15:15). Naʻá Ne fakahoungaʻi ʻenau faikehekehé (vakai, Mātiu 9:10) mo Ne ʻafioʻi e meʻa te nau lavá (vakai, Sione 17:23). Naʻá Ne tokoni ki he taha kotoa, neongo ko e ʻEiki Ia ʻo e meʻa kotoa pē, pea naʻá Ne folofola naʻe ʻikai haʻú ke tauhi ia ka ke Ne ngāue fakaetauhi (vakai, Maʻake 10:42–45).

Ko e hā te ke fai ke fakatupulaki ai ha ngaahi vā ʻoku mālohi angé, mo kinautolu ʻoku uiuiʻi koe ke ke tokoniʻí?

Ngaahi Fakamatalá

1. Sharon Eubank, in “Humanitarian Acts Must Be Rooted in Relationship, Sharon Eubank Says,” mormonnewsroom.org.

2. Vakai, “Ngaahi Tefitoʻi Moʻoni ʻo e Ngāue Fakaetauhí: Tokoni ʻi he Manavaʻofa,” Liahona, Siulai 2018, 6–9.

3. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “ʻO e Ngaahi Meʻa Mahuʻinga Tahá,” Liahona, Nov. 2010, 22.

4. Vakai, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “ʻO e Ngaahi Meʻa Mahuʻinga Tahá,” 22.

5. Vakai, Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Home Teachers of the Church,” Ensign, May 1987, 50.

6. Vakai, Charles A. Wilkinson and Lauren H. Grill, “Expressing Affection: A Vocabulary of Loving Messages,” in Making Connections: Readings in Relational Communication, ed. Kathleen M. Galvin, 5th ed. (2011), 164–73.

7. Richard G. Scott, “Ko e Ngaahi Tāpuaki Taʻengata ʻo e Malí,” Liahona, Mē 2011, 96.

8. Vakai, “Ngaahi Tefitoʻi Moʻoni ʻo e Ngāue Fakaetauhí: Meʻa ʻe Nima ʻOku Fai ʻe he Kau Fakafanongo Leleí,” Liahona, Sune 2018, 6–9.

9. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Hingoa ʻe Fā,” Liahona, Mē 2013, 58-59.

10. Thomas S. Monson, “Vakai ki he Niʻihi Kehé ʻi he Tuʻunga Te Nau Aʻusiá,” Liahona, Nōvema 2012, 69.

11. Vakai, Terence R. Mitchell and Denise Daniels, “Motivation,” ʻi he Handbook of Psychology, vol. 12, ed. Walter C. Borman and others (2003), 229.

12. Vakai, Edward J. Lawler, Rebecca Ford, and Michael D. Large, “Unilateral Initiatives as a Conflict Resolution Strategy,” Social Psychology Quarterly, vol. 62, no. 3 (Sept. 1999), 240–56.