Teití mo e Ponokālafí

Faʻu ʻe he kau ngāue ʻa e Liahoná mo e Ngaahi Tokoni maʻá e Fāmilí.

Ko e tokoni mo e ‘amanaki lelei ʻi hono fakafepakiʻi ʻo e ponokālafí ‘i he ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki ʻo e teití.

ʻI heʻetau kei ʻi he tuʻunga ko e kakai lalahi kei talavoú, ʻoku tau ʻilo ʻe lava pē ʻa e teití ke fakafiefia, fakailifia, fakafiemālie pea toe fakatupu tailiili ʻi he taimi tatau pē. ʻI he kamata ke tau fakaʻatā [hotau lotó] ki he niʻihi kehé, ʻe fakanatula pē ʻetau fie maʻu ke ʻilo lahi ange kia kinautolú, pea ʻoku mahuʻinga ki hono langa hake mo hono fakaloloto ha ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki ʻa e fakatupulaki ʻa ʻete tali ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga tuʻu laveangofuá. Ko e hā ʻa ʻetau ngaahi fakaʻānauá, manavasiʻí, mo e tuí? ʻOku tau ongoʻi fēfē ki he nofo-malí mo e fāmilí? Ko e hā ha ngaahi faingataʻa kuo tau fepaki mo ia ʻi he kuohilí pe lolotongá ʻoku totonu ke tau fevahevaheʻaki mo e tokotaha kehe?

Neongo e ngali fakamanavahē ʻa e talanoa (pe fehuʻi) fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi palopalema ʻo e ponokālafí mahalo ʻe lelei ange ia ʻi ha hoko ʻa mui ha ngaahi palopalema fakatupu maumau lahi ʻi ha ‘ikai fakahoko ha talanoá. Ko e foʻi palopalema fakaponokalafi kotoa pē ʻoku makehe pea mafatukituki, pea ʻe malava pē ke ʻikai te ke ʻiloʻi pe ko ha palopalema pe ʻikai, pe ʻe anga fēfē haʻo ʻohake ia ki he tokotaha ʻokú mo teití, ko ia ai ʻoku matuʻaki mahuʻinga ke ke kumi ki ha takiekina mei he Laumālié. ʻOku ʻikai ha solovaʻanga pe ʻe taha ki he meʻa kotoa pē kuo hokó, ka ʻi he fakamatala ko ʻení, ʻoku mau ʻoatu ai ha ngaahi fokotuʻu kiate kimoutolu ko ia ʻoku mou kei fifili [ki he ngaahi meʻá ni]:

ʻE anga fēfē haʻaku ʻohake e kaveinga ʻo e ponokālafí [ke talanoaʻi] mo e tokotaha ʻokú ma teití? Pea ko e fē taimi ʻe totonu ai ke ʻeke/talanoaʻi?
ʻE lava fēfē ke u ʻilo ʻa e taimi totonu ke hoko atu ai hoku vā fetuʻutaki mo ha tokotaha ʻoku ʻi ai hano hisitolia fekauʻaki mo hono ngaueʻaki ʻa e ponokalafí?‘
Ko e hā ha founga ʻe lava ke tau ngāue fakataha ai ke ikunaʻi e ponokālafí?

Kiate Kinautolu Kuo Fefāʻuhi pe ʻOku Fefāʻuhi [mo e Ponokālafi]

Kapau kuó ke fefāʻuhi ʻi he kuohilí pe ʻokú ke lolotonga fefāʻuhi mo e ponokālafí, mahalo ʻe ʻomi ʻe he fakakaukau ko ia ke teití ha ongoʻi tuenoa pe hohaʻa. Ka kapau ʻokú ke maʻu ha holi fakamaatoato ke toʻo fakaʻaufuli e ponokālafí mei hoʻo moʻuí (pe kuó ke ʻosi toʻo ia), ʻiloʻi, ko hoʻo ngaahi feinga ko iá fakataha mo e tokoni meí he Tamai Hēvaní mo Sīsū Kalaisí, ʻe kei malava pē ke ke maʻu ha vā fetuʻutaki lelei mo tolonga. Fakakaukau ki he ngaahi fehuʻi ko ʻení ’i ho’o muimuiʻi ha vā fetuʻutaki.

1. ‘Oku Fuʻu Fie Maʻu Nai ke ma Talanoa ki Ai?

Ko ha fehuʻi angamaheni ʻa e, “‘Oku fuʻu fie maʻu nai ke u vahevahe ʻa e hisitolia ʻo ʻeku ngāue ʻaki ʻa e ponokālafí ki he tokotaha ʻokú ma teití, neongo kuó u ʻosi fakatomala mei ai?” Pe “‘Oku fie maʻu nai ke u talanoa fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi palopalema lolotonga ʻo e ponokālafí mo e tokotaha ʻokú ma teití?” Ko hono fakakātoá, ‘oku fie maʻu ke aleaʻi—ʻi he taimi totonu, pea ‘i ha founga ʻoku fakapotopoto. ʻI hoʻo fakahoko ʻa e fepōtalanoaʻaki ko ʻení, fakakaukauloto ki ha ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni mahuʻinga:

Taimí—ʻOku totonu ke fakahoko e fepōtalanoaʻaki ko ʻení ʻi he taimi ʻoku tupulaki ai ʻa e vā fetuʻutakí ki ha tuʻunga ʻoku fakamātoató ʻa ia ʻe fakanatula pē hono fie maʻu ki aí.
Faitotonú—ʻOku totonu ke fakatefito e vā fetuʻutakí ʻi he falalá mo e faitotonú. Neongo ka fili e tokotaha ʻokú mo teití ke fakangata e vā fetuʻutakí, ʻoku kei fie maʻu pē ke mahino kiate ia e natula ʻo e palopalemá, mo e tuʻunga lolotonga ʻo hoʻo fakalakalaká ʻi hono talanoaʻi ia, pea mo hoʻo palani ke fakaleleiʻi ia ʻoka toe hoko ʻi he kahaʻú.
Fakamolemolé—ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga e faitotonu ia fekauʻaki mo hoʻo fakaʻaongaʻi e ponokālafí ki he tokotaha ʻokú mo teití ke ke fakaikiikiʻi ʻe koe ʻa e ngaahi fakamatala ʻikai taau ʻi hoʻomo fepōtalanoaʻakí. Kapau kuó ke fakatomala peá ke ongoʻi kuo fakamolemoleʻi koe, ʻoku totonu ke ʻoua te ke toe ongoʻi tautea koe fekauʻaki mo ia. ʻOku ʻikai ke toe manatuʻi ‘e he ʻEikí ‘a ʻetau ngaahi angahalá ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau fakatomala ai mei aí (vakai, Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 58:42), ko ia ai ko hoʻo ngaahi fetalanoaʻaki mo e tokotaha ʻokú ke teiti mo ia ʻoku totonu ke siʻisiʻi ange ʻene fekauʻaki mo e “vetehiá” kae lahilahi ange ki he fakatupulaki ʻo e fefalalaʻakí, vahevahe hoʻo ngaahi palani ki he hokohoko atu ʻo e fakaakeaké, mo e maʻu ʻo ʻenau poupoú.
Fakamoʻuí—Neongo pē kuó ke ʻosi fakatomala, ʻe kei malava pē ʻe hono fakaʻaongaʻi fuoloa pe tōtuʻa ʻa e ponokālafí ke ʻomi ha ngaahi uesia tuʻuloa fakaesino, fakaʻatamai, fakasōsiale mo fakalaumālie foki. Ko e founga ʻo e fakamoʻuí ʻe malava pē ke hoko ko ha ngāue mālohi pea ʻi ha taimi lōloa, ka ʻe kei malava pē e fakafoʻou kakató mo e fakamoʻui moʻoní. ʻI he founga ko iá, te ke fie maʻu e tokoni mo e poupou totonú, ʻa ia ʻoku totonu ke kau ki ai e tokotaha ʻe lava ke hoko ko hao hoa mali.

2. ‘Oku Ou Mateuteu nai ki ha Vā Fetuʻutaki Fakamaatoato?

Ko e taha ʻo e ngaahi faikehekehe lahi ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo ha taha ʻoku mateuteu mo ha taha ʻoku teʻeki mateuteu ki ha vā fetuʻutaki fakamaatoato, ko ʻenau loto fiemālie ko ia ke hoʻata totonu ki tuʻa [honau ʻulungaanga mo e meʻa kotoa pē] ki he tokotaha ʻoku nau teití. Kapau ʻoku ke fefāʻuhi mo e ponokālafí, te ke lava ʻo tuku ke hanga ʻe hoʻo manavasiʻí ʻo ʻave hoʻo vā fetuʻutakí ki he feituʻu ʻo e fetaʻefalaláʻaki pe ko hoʻo fakaʻaongaʻi e tuí ke fakafepakiʻi fakakatoa e ngaahi faingataʻá.

Neongo ʻe malava ke taʻe fakafiemālie pea fakamanavahē ke vahevahe hoʻo hisitōlia mo e ponokālafí, ka ʻe malava ke hoko hoʻo taʻe fie talanoa ki aí ʻo fakaloloto hoʻo ongoʻi manavasiʻí mo e maá. Ko hoʻo manavasiʻi ko ia naʻa mole e tokotaha ko iá ʻe malava pē ke ne fakalotoa koe ke fakaʻikaiʻi pe taʻofi hoʻo vahevahe kakato e talanoá, ʻa ia ʻe malava ke ne maumauʻi e fefalalaʻakí pea iku maumau ai mo hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí ʻa mui ange.

ʻI he tafaʻaki ʻe tahá, ʻi he taimi te ke fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ai e tauʻatāina ke fili ʻa e tokotaha ʻokú mo teití, te ke fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻenau fili ke nofo maʻu ʻi he vā fetuʻutakí neongo ʻene ʻilo fakatouʻosi ki he leleí mo e koví. Mahalo te ke kei manavasiʻi pē ki he olá, ka ʻoku mahuʻinga ke fakatokangaʻi, ko hono ʻave kotoa ko ia ʻo e ngaahi fakamatalá, ʻe lava leva ke tokoni atu ʻa e tokotaha ko iá ʻi hoʻo ngaahi feingá mo e fakaʻamu ke taʻofi ʻa e ponokālafi mei hoʻo moʻuí. Neongo pe ʻe ngāue ʻa e vā fetuʻutaki, ʻi he tokoni ʻa e ʻOtuá, te ke kei lava pē ke hokohoko atu ʻi he hala ki he fakaakeaké.

Kiate Kinautolu ʻOku Teiti mo ha Tokotaha ʻoku Faingataʻaʻiá

Koeʻuhí ko e ʻavalisi ʻo e taʻu ke fuofua sio ai ki he ponokālafí, ʻoku meimei ke ʻi he taʻu 11 pea faingofua ʻaupito hono aʻusia, ko e tokolahi taha ʻo e kakai kei talavou kuo nau ʻilo ki he ponokālafí ʻi ha ngaahi founga kehekehe ʻoku nau ʻi he taʻu 18. ʻE lava ke hoko ʻeni ko ha meʻa fakahohaʻa ʻi he taimi teití. Ka ʻoku ʻikai tatau ʻa e ʻiló ki ai mo e maʻunimaá, pea ʻoku ‘i ai pē ha ngaahi tuʻunga kehekehe ia ʻo e fekuki mo e ponokālafí (vakai ki he Dallin H. Oaks, “Ko e Fakaakeake mei he Tauhele ‘o e Ponokālafí,” Liahona, Oct. 2015, 50–55). Ko e ongoongo leleí ʻe lava ke ʻomi ʻe he Fakalelei ʻa Sīsū Kalaisí ha malōhi mo ha fakamoʻui kiate kinautolu ʻoku nau fekumi ki aí. Ko ha ngaahi fehuʻi ʻeni ke fakakaukau ki ai ʻi he tupulaki ko ia ho vā fetuʻutakí.

1. Ko Fē Taimi mo e Founga ʻOku Totonu Ke U Fehuʻi ai Fekauʻaki mo e Ponokālafí?

Ko e fakakaukauʻi ko ia ʻa e taimi mo e founga ke ʻohake ai ʻeni ki he tokotaha ʻokú mo teití, mahalo ko ha meʻa ia ke ke ʻuluaki talanoa ki ai mo hoʻo ongomātuʻá, ngaahi tokoua lalahí, kau taki ʻo e Siasí, pe ko ha taha pē ʻokú ke falala ke ʻoatu ha faleʻi lelei. Kumi ha founga ʻoku ongo tonu kiate koé, peá fakahoko ʻa e fepōtalanoaʻaki ko iá ʻi ha taimi totonu, ʻi he fakaʻau ke ke nofo taha pē ki ai pea fakamaatoato ange hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí.

ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ʻeni ia ʻoku fiemaʻu ke kamata ʻaki hoʻomo fuofua teití ha fakaʻekeʻeke ki honau kuohilí, ka ʻi he fakalakalaka hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí, ʻe lava ke ke fekumi ki he ueʻi ʻa e Laumālié ke tokoni atu ke ke ʻiloʻi ʻa e founga mo e taimi ke fehuʻi ai fekauʻaki mo honau hisitōlia mo e ponokālafí.

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2. Te u Tali Fēfē?

ʻI he taimi ʻe kamata ke mo fevahevaheʻaki ai ki hoʻomo ngaahi ongo totonú té ne lava pē ʻo ʻomai e fakamoʻuí. ʻOku mahuʻinga ke ke ʻilo ki hoʻo ngaahi fakakaukaú mo e ngaahi ongó ʻi he taimi ʻoku fakahaaʻi hoʻo fakaʻaongaʻi e ponokālafí— ʻe malava pē ke ne ʻai koe ke loto fakamaau, ʻita, mafasia, pe ongoʻi kakaaʻi. Ka ʻi he taimi tatau, ʻe lava hono fakahaaʻí ʻo fakatupulaki ʻa e fefalalaʻakí, manavaʻofá, ʻofá mo e feʻofoʻofaní. Fakakaukau ki heʻenau ngaahi ongó mo hoʻo ongó ʻi he taimi te ke talí aí.

3. ʻE Anga Fēfē ʻEku Hoko Atú?

ʻOku totonu ke ʻi ai e hohaʻa ʻi he ʻiloʻi ko e tokotaha ʻokú mo teití ʻoku fefāʻuhi mo e ponokālafí, kae ʻoua ʻe lavakiʻi ʻa ʻenau falalá ʻaki hono vahevahe ʻenau ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá mo e niʻihi kehé. Mahalo naʻa tokoni haʻo talanoa ʻi he loto falala mo ha pīsope pe taha faifaleʻi, pē, ʻi hono fakangofua ʻe he tokotaha ʻokú mo teití, ki hao kaungāmeʻa pe ko ha taki falalaʻanga.

ʻI he taimi ʻokú ke fakakaukauʻi ai pe ʻe hokohoko atu hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí pe ʻikai, ʻoku totonu ke hokohoko atu hoʻo fekumi ki he takiekina meí he Laumālié. Ka ʻe lava ke ʻaonga ʻa e ngaahi fokotuʻu ko ʻení:

Fehuʻi kiate kinautolu pe ko e hā e lahi e uesia kuo fai ʻe he ponokālafí ki heʻenau moʻuí pea ko e hā e tūkunga ʻoku ʻi ai ʻenau fakaakeaké. ʻOku fie maʻu ke nau fakahaaʻi mai ʻenau fakaʻamu ke toʻo e ponokālafí mei heʻenau moʻuí ʻaki ʻenau fai ha faʻahinga ngāue totonu ʻoku fie maʻu.
Fakatokangaʻi ʻoku ʻi ai e ngaahi fōtunga hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e ponokālafí (hangē ko e ponokālafi ʻa e fānaú) ʻoku hā mahino ai ʻoku fie maʻu ʻe he tokotaha ko iá ha tokoni fakapalofesinale pea mahalo pē ʻoku ʻikai malu.
ʻIloʻi ʻoku moʻoni ʻa e mālohi ʻo e Fakalelei ʻa e Fakamoʻuí. Te ke lava ʻo fakamolemoleʻi, pea te nau lava ʻo moʻui.
Fakapapauʻi ʻe ʻikai te ke tali ha meʻa ʻoku toe siʻi hifo ʻi he faitotonu kakató ʻi hoʻo vā fetuʻutakí mo e tuʻunga moʻui taau ke mali ʻi he temipalé.
Mahinoʻi ko e fakaakeaké mo e fakamoʻuí ʻe fuofuoloa. ʻE malava pē ke hoko ʻa e tō mo humu ʻi he feingá, pea ko kinautolu ʻoku nau feinga ke fakaakeaké te nau fiemaʻu ē tokoní. ʻOku kau heni ʻa hono mahinoʻi ʻo e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ne fakatupú (ngaahi meʻa te nau ala fakatupu ke nau tafoki ki he ponokālafī) mo e poupou pe tokoni ki hono fokotuʻu ha ngaahi founga maluʻi totonú.
Kapau ʻoku fakalakalaka hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí ki he malí, fakapapauʻi ʻokú mo felotolotoi fakatouʻosi he ʻikai ke mo tali ʻa e ponokālafí pea ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fakasino mai ha feohi fakasekisuale lelei ki he nofomalí.

Ko e meʻa mahuʻinga taha ʻi he hoko atú ko e falala ki he meʻa ʻoku ueʻi koe ʻe he Laumālie Māʻoniʻoní ke ke faí, ʻa ia ʻe lava pē ke hoko ko ha faʻahinga meʻa pē meí he hokohoko atu ʻo e feohí mo ha mahino ko e ponokālafí kuo pau ke taʻofi ʻo aʻu ki hono fakangata ʻa e feohí ka e kei hokohoko atu pē hono poupouʻi ʻenau feinga ke liliú. Ko e hā pē meʻa te ke filí, ko e tokotaha ko ia ʻokú mo teití kuo pau ke mahino kiate ia ʻe kei lava pē ke fai ha liliu ʻo makatuʻunga ʻi heʻenau fakalakalaká pe ʻikai fakalakalaká ʻi he feinga ke ikunaʻi e ponokālafí.

Ngāue Fataha ke Ikunaʻi ‘a e Ponokālafí

Ko hono ikunaʻi ʻo e Ponokālafí, ʻoku malava pē ke fie maʻu ki ai ha taimi lōloa mo ha ngāue lahi, ka ‘oku kei malava pē. Pea ko hono aofangatukú, ʻi he ngāue fakataha ko ia ke ikunaʻi iá ʻe lava ke fakamālohia ai hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí ʻi hoʻomo maʻu ha mahino ʻoku toe loloto ange fekauʻaki mo e Fakalelei ʻa Sīsū Kalaisí pea ako ke fepoupouʻaki ʻi he fepaki mo e faingataʻá. Fakakaukau ki he ngaahi meʻa ko ʻení ʻi hoʻomo ngāue ke ikunaʻi fakataha iá:

ʻOku lahi ha ngaahi naunau ʻoku ʻomi ʻe he uepisaiti ʻa e Siasí overcomingpornography.ChurchofJesusChrist.org (kau ai e fakamatala ki he polokalama fakaakeake ʻa e Siasí meí he maʻunimaá) ʻe lava ʻo tokoni atu kiate kimoua ʻi hoʻomo fefāingaʻaki mo e founga fakamoʻui ko ʻení.
Fakakaukau ke ʻai ha kiʻi feituʻu pau mo e taimi ke talanoaʻi ai e ponokālafí koeʻuhi ke ʻoua ʻe hoko ia ko e meʻa mahuʻinga taha ʻi hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí. ʻI he taimi ʻokú ke talanoa ai ki aí, ʻoua te ke talanoa tukuhifo pe siolalo. ʻOku totonu ke hoko hoʻomo vā fetuʻutakí ko ha feituʻu malu ia te mo ongoʻi fakatouʻosi ai ʻa e ʻofá mo e fepoupouʻakí kae ʻikai ko e fakamaauʻí pe tukuhifó.
ʻE lava e ngaahi founga fakalaumālié ʻo tokoni ke ne ʻomi ha maluʻi meí he ʻahiʻahí. Mo fefakalotolahiʻaki ke pukepuke pea fakamālohia e ngaahi ʻulungaanga fakalaumālié—kau ai hono ako ʻo e folofolá mo e moihū ʻi he temipalé (ʻi he taimi ʻe lava aí), tauhi ʻAho Sāpaté, tokoniʻi e niʻihi kehé, ʻaukai maʻu pē, mo e lotu fakamaatoato—ʻaki ha holi lahi ange ke fakamālohia hoʻomo vā fetuʻutaki mo e Fakamoʻuí pea mo e Tamai Hēvaní. ʻE lava ʻa e vā fetuʻutaki ko iá ʻo tokoni ke fakasiʻisiʻi hono maʻu hoʻomo moʻuí ʻe he ponokālafí. Ko e moʻui fakaākongá ko ha feingatau ia ʻo e moʻuí, pea ko e mālohí ʻoku tau maʻu ʻi heʻetau hoko ko e kau muimui ʻa Kalaisí, ʻe tokoni mai ia ʻi heʻetau feinga ke tau ikunaʻi e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻo e moʻuí, kae ʻikai ko e ponokālafí pē.
Kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ola lelei hoʻo ngaahi feingá, ʻoua ʻe manavasiʻi pe mā ke kumi ki ha tokoni ʻa ha tokotaha mataotao ʻi he moʻui lelei fakaʻatamaí ʻi he tafaʻaki ʻo e maʻunimā fakasekisualé. Mahalo pē ʻe lava ke nau tokoni atu ke maʻu ha mahino ʻoku toe lahi angé ki hono faitoʻo ʻo e ponokālafí mo hono fakaleleiʻi ʻa hono tupuʻangá.
Manatuʻi ʻoku ʻākilotoa kitautolu ʻe he mītia taʻetaau ʻokú ne ʻahiʻahiʻi kitautolu ke tau faiangahalá. Kapau ʻe toe foki ʻa e tokotaha ʻokú mo teití [ki he ponokālafí], ko e vave taha ʻenau toe foki ki he hala [totonú] te ne fakahaaʻi mai e fakaʻilonga lelei ʻo ʻenau loto tukupā ke siʻaki ʻa e ponokālafí mei heʻenau moʻuí. Ka kapau ʻe kamata ke ke ongoʻi ʻoku lahi ange hoʻo ongoʻi loto vēkeveke ʻau ke sio ki ha liliú ʻia kinautolu, ʻoku totonu ke ke toe fakakaukauʻi ʻa e hoko atu hoʻomo vā fetuʻutaki ʻi he teití.
ʻE lava ke mālohi ʻaupito ho ivi tākiekina i he tokotaha ʻokú mo teití, ka ʻoku totonu ke ʻoua naʻa hoko ia ko e tefitoʻi ʻuhinga ki he liliu honau ʻulungaanga. Ko ʻenau holi ke liliú ʻoku totonu ke haʻu ia mei loto, ka ʻikai meia koe.

Ko e meʻa tēpuú, ke fekumi ki he tākiekina meí he Tamai Hēvaní pea manatuʻi ʻoku ʻi ai maʻu pē ʻa e ʻamanaki lelei ʻi he Fakamoʻuí. ʻOku feʻunga pē ʻEne ʻaloʻofá ke fakamoʻui mo liliu kitautolu. ʻOku ʻi ai ʻa ʻEne Fakaleleí kiate kimoua fakatouʻosi ke ʻoatu kiate kimoua ha mālohi pea tokoniʻi kimoua ke mo fefakamolemoleʻaki. Ka neongo iá, ʻoku fie maʻu ʻa e tokotaha ʻoku fefāʻuhi mo e ponokālafí ke fekumi faivelenga ki he tokoni ʻa e Fakamoʻuí ke ikunaʻi ia. He ʻikai pē ha taha ia te ne lava ʻo fai ia maʻanautolu. Tui pea falala ki he Tamai Hēvaní. Te ne tataki koe ʻi ho tūkunga makehé.