2021
Ngaahi Fakakaukau ʻe 3 ki Hono Langa ʻo ha Fakavaʻe Mālohi ʻi he Nofo-Malí
ʻAokosi 2021


Fakaʻilekitulōnika Pē: Kakai Lalahi Kei Talavoú

Ngaahi Fakakaukau ʻe 3 ki Hono Langa ʻo ha Fakavaʻe Mālohi ʻi he Nofo-Malí

ʻOku nofo ʻa e tokotaha naʻá ne faʻú ʻi ʻIutā, USA.

ʻE lava ʻe he ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku tau fehangahangai mo ia ʻi he nofo-malí ʻo fakaleleiʻi hotau ngaahi vā fetuʻutakí.

ʻĪmisi
ongomātuʻa mali kei talavou ʻokú na lue ʻi he hala ʻoku takatakaiʻi ʻe he sinoú

He ʻikai faingofua maʻu pē ʻa e nofo-malí.

Ka ʻoku tui ha tokolahi ʻo kitautolu—ʻi hotau lotó—ʻoku totonu ke pehē.

ʻOku ʻikai faingataʻa ke mahino hono ʻuhingá. ʻOku akoʻi kitautolu ʻe he kotoa ʻo e ngaahi tohi mo e heleʻuhila manakoá ko e faingataʻa moʻoni ʻi he moʻuí ko hono kumi mo tohoakiʻi mai e loto hotau ʻofaʻangá—ka ʻi he hili ʻetau malí, ʻoku fakafiefia e meʻa kotoa ʻo lauikuonga. Pea hangē ʻoku fakamālohia ʻe he ngaahi fakamatala kuo fokotuʻutuʻu fakalelei ʻi he mītia fakasōsialé ʻa hotau ngaahi kaungāmeʻa kuo ʻosi malí ʻa e tui hala ko ʻení!

Ko e hā leva te tau fai ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau ongoʻi ai ʻoku kehe ʻetau nofo-malí mei he meʻa ne tau ʻamanaki ki aí?

ʻI heʻetau hoko ko ha kau mēmipa ʻo e Siasi ʻo Sīsū Kalaisi ʻo e Kau Māʻoniʻoni ʻi he Ngaahi ʻAho Kimui Ní, ʻoku tau monūʻia ke ʻiloʻi naʻe fakataumuʻa e moʻui fakamatelié ke fakakau ki ai mo e ngaahi faingataʻá. Te tau lava ʻo aʻusia ha fiefia lahi ʻi he nofo-malí ʻi heʻetau tali ia ko ha faingamālie ke tupulaki, falala kia Sīsū Kalaisi, pea fakaʻatā Ia ke Ne fakaleleiʻi kitautolu.

Kapau ʻokú ke faingataʻaʻia ke vakai ki he ngaahi faingataʻa ʻi he nofo-malí ko ha tāpuaki, fakakaukau ki he ngaahi fakakaukau ko ʻení.

1. ʻE lava ke hoko ʻa e ʻikai aʻusia e ngaahi fiemaʻú ko ha faingamālie ke tupulaki ai ʻa e uouangatahá.

ʻOku ʻamanaki ha tokolahi ʻo kitautolu ki ha meʻa lahi mei he nofo-malí—ʻa e fiemālie pē ʻiate kitá pe ha fiefia taʻeʻamanekina naʻe ʻikai ke tau maʻu lolotonga ʻa e teʻeki ke tau malí. Ka ʻo kapau he ʻikai ke tau tokanga, te tau lava ʻo fakatupulaki e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku tau fakatetuʻa ki aí ʻo tau pehē ʻoku totonu ke hoko ia ʻi he nofo-malí kae ʻikai fekumi ke mahino e meʻa kuo fakapapauʻi mai ʻe he ʻEikí ko e nofo-malí ia.

Naʻe pehē ʻe ʻEletā Tēvita A. Petinā ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá: “Ko e malí ko ha tuʻutuʻuni māʻoniʻoni ia ʻoku makatuʻunga ʻi he ngaahi fuakava, fatongia mo e feilaulau tuʻuloa ʻoku tuʻu fehangahangai mo e fakakaukau fakaemāmani ʻo e malí. ʻOku ʻikai ha kaunga ʻo e founga fakamāmani ko iá ki he mole hoʻo moʻuí ʻi he ngāue tokoni ki he fāmilí pe feilaulau maʻá e malí mo e fānaú.”1

Meʻamālié, ʻe lava ke hoko ʻa e nofo-malí ko ha ngāue ʻoku fakalakalaka ki muʻa hono fakahokó! Fēfē nai kapau te tau vakai ki he nofo-malí ʻo hangē ia ko ha faingamālie ke feilaulau mo fetokoniʻaki kae ʻikai ʻamanaki atu ʻe hoko pē ʻi he taimi ko iá hono ʻomi ʻe he nofo-malí maʻatautolu ha fiefia ʻoku toe lahi angé—maʻá ha ongomeʻa ʻoku taʻehaohaoa ke na loto fakatōkilalo ange, tupulaki pea hoko ʻo anga faka-Kalaisi ange?

Mahalo ʻe ongo fakamanavahē ke siʻaki e ʻamanaki ko ia ʻoku totonu ke tuʻuloa e fiefia ʻi he nofo-malí. Ka ʻi heʻetau fetongi ʻeni ʻaki ha tukupā ke fefeilaulauʻaki—ʻo hangē ko e fakamatala ʻa ʻEletā Petinaá—ʻoku tau fakafenāpasi lelei ange ai ʻetau moʻuí mo Kalaisi. Ko e fakaʻofoʻofa ʻo e founga ko ʻení ko hono fakamālohia ʻe he ʻEikí ʻetau nofo-malí mo tokoniʻi kitautolu ke tau aʻusia ʻa e fiefia ʻoku tau fie maʻú!

2. ʻE lava ke iku e taʻefemahinoʻakí ki ha vā fetuʻutaki ʻoku loloto angé.

ʻI he taimi ʻoku fakataha ai ʻa e moʻui ʻa ha ongomeʻa, he ʻikai ke na tui tatau maʻu pē:

Te ma nofó ʻi fē? Te ma fakaʻaongaʻi fēfē nai ʻema paʻangá? Ko e hā e lahi ʻo e taimi te ma feohi ai mo e fāmili ʻi he fonó? Ko e hā e tuʻo lahi hono fakamaʻa ʻo e falé?

Ka ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke kovi ʻa e fetaʻemahinoʻaki ʻi he ngaahi meʻa peheé. Ko hono moʻoní, ko e ako ko ia ke taʻefiemālie ʻi he angaʻofá mo e fakaʻatuʻí, ko ha founga lelei ia ke langaki ai ʻa e loto fakatōkilaló mo e manavaʻofá. Pea ʻi hoʻo feinga ke mahino kiate koe ʻa e fakakaukau ʻa ho malí, ʻe lava ke fakaloloto ange hoʻo ʻofá ʻi hoʻo ʻiloʻi lelei ange iá.

Ne akoʻi mai ʻe he Palesiteni Lahi ʻo e Fineʻofá, Palesiteni Sini B. Pingihami, ʻa e founga te tau lava ʻo fakahoko ai iá. Naʻá ne pehē: “ʻOku mahuʻinga e uouangatahá ʻi he ngāue fakalangi ʻoku tau monūʻia ke fakahokó, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke hoko fakatuʻupakē ia. ʻE fie maʻu ha ngāue mo ha taimi ke lava lelei ai ha fealēleaʻaki—ke fefanongoʻaki, mahino e fakakaukau ʻa e niʻihi kehé, mo vahevahe e ngaahi aʻusiá—ka ko hono olá ko ha tuʻutuʻuni ʻoku tataki fakalaumālie ange.”2

ʻI he taimi ʻoku hoko ai ha fetaʻemahinoʻakí, ʻoku faʻa lava ke hao mei he fetōkehekeheʻakí ʻaki ʻa e fakakaukau ki ha taumuʻa ʻoku lahi angé kae ʻikai tokanga taha pē ki he fetaʻemahinoʻakí. ʻOku fakatou ngāue ʻeni ki he ngaahi meʻa lalahi mo iiki ʻi he nofo-malí.

Hangē ko ʻení, mahalo ʻoku faʻoaki ʻe he hoá ʻa e mīsini fufulu peletí ʻi ha founga ʻoku ʻikai sai kiate koe: ʻOku totonu ke ʻave e ʻū ipú ki hē, kae ʻikai ko e ʻū poulú!

Ko e hā ʻa e taumuʻa lahi angé? Ke maʻa e ʻū peletí. ʻOku hanga nai ʻe hoʻo ngaahi founga fakafoʻituituí ʻo faʻoaki lelei e meʻa fufulu peletí? Sai ʻaupito! Tā ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha palopalema ia pe ʻuhinga ki ha fetōkehekeheʻaki.

Tau vakai angé ki ha palopalema lahi ange fekauʻaki mo e nofo-malí—ko hono ohi hake ʻo e fānaú. Mahalo ʻoku tui ha taha ʻiate kimoua ʻoku ʻi ai ha faʻunga fakatonutonu kuo fokotuʻutuʻu kae tui ʻa e tokotaha ko eé ʻoku totonu ke lava pē ʻo feliliuaki mo fakaʻatuʻi. Ko e hā e founga ʻe lava ke fengāueʻaki ai ʻa e ongo fakakaukau ko iá? ʻI he tokanga taha ki he taumuʻa lahi ange.

Ko e taumuʻa lahi ange ʻokú ke vahevahé, ko hono ohi hake ha fānau ʻoku fiefia, fakapotopoto, mo fakaʻutumauku ʻi he ongoongolelei ʻo Sīsū Kalaisí. Kuó ke ʻosi kau ki he ngaahi meʻa mahuʻinga tahá!

Fiefia ʻi he hala fononga ʻo hono ako ʻo e founga ʻokú mo ngāue fakataha ai ke aʻusia e taumuʻa ko iá. Kapau te mo tali hoʻomo ngaahi faikehekehé mo e ngaahi founga ki he moʻuí, ko hoʻomo fānaú—ʻa ia ʻoku ʻi ai honau takitaha natula makehe—te nau maʻu ha ngaahi founga kehekehe ke fengāueʻaki lelei ai mo kimoua fakatouʻosi.

ʻOku lelei ange maʻu pē ʻa e fakakaukau ʻe uá, mo e fakakaukau fakamāmani lahi ʻe uá, ʻi he fakakaukau pē ʻe tahá.

Naʻe akoʻi lelei kitautolu ʻe Palesiteni Henelī B ʻAealingi ko e Tokoni Ua ʻi he Kau Palesitenisī ʻUluakí ki he founga ʻoku hanga ai ʻe he faikehekehé ʻo ʻai ke tau fetokoniʻaki ʻi he nofo-malí:

“Kuó u hoko ko ha tokotaha lelei ange ʻo hangē ko ʻeku ʻofa mo nofo mo [hoku uaifí]. Kuó ma fepoupouʻaki ʻo laka ange ʻi ha toe faʻahinga meʻa te u lava ʻo fakakaukau ki ai. Naʻe tupulaki ʻene malava ke tokoniʻi e niʻihi kehé ʻiate au ʻi heʻema hoko ʻo tahá. Ne tupulaki ʻa ʻeku malava ke palaní, fakahinohino mo tākiekina homa fāmilí ʻiate iá ʻi heʻema uouongataha ʻi he nofo-malí. ʻOku ou ʻiloʻi ʻi he taimí ni, naʻá ma tupulaki fakataha ʻo hoko ʻo taha—ʻo langa māmālie hake mo fetokoniʻaki, ʻi he taʻu ki he taʻu. ʻI heʻema fefakamālohiaʻakí, ne ʻikai ke ne holoki ai ʻema ngaahi meʻafoaki fakatāutahá.

“Naʻe fakatahaʻi homa ngaahi faikehekehé ʻo hangē naʻe fakataumuʻa ia ke nau fakatupu ha tuʻunga lelei angé. Naʻe haʻi fakataha kimaua ʻe homa ngaahi faikehekehé kae ʻikai ke nau vahevaheʻi kimaua.”3

3. ʻOku tau fatongia ʻaki ʻetau fiefia fakafoʻituituí.

ʻOku tau faʻa tuku ʻetau ngaahi ʻamanakí ki hotau malí ke ne ʻai ke tau ongoʻi loto-falala, ʻofeina, mo malu ʻi he taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke tau ʻiloʻi ai e founga ke fai ai e ngaahi meʻa ko iá maʻatautolú! ʻE lava ke iku hoʻo ʻamanaki ke fakahoko ho malí ʻa e ngaahi fiemaʻu mo e ngaahi fiemaʻu vivili kotoa ko ʻení, ki ha loto-mamahi mo ha fehiʻa ʻi he nofo-malí.

ʻOkú ke fatongia ʻaki hoʻo fiefia fakafoʻituituí. Ne vahevahe tuʻo taha ʻe ʻEletā Tieta F. Ukitofa ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá ʻa e fakakaukau ko ʻení:

“Ko ʻetau motuʻa angé, ko e lahi ange ia ʻetau vakai atu ʻo fakatokangaʻi ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻi tuʻa ʻoku ʻikai fuʻu mahuʻinga pe te nau puleʻi ʻetau fiefiá.

“… ʻOku tau pule pē ki heʻetau fiefiá.”4

Ako ʻa e meʻa ʻokú ke fie maʻu ke puleʻi ʻaki hoʻo moʻui lelei fakaelotó. He ʻikai lava ke puleʻi atu ho malí hoʻo ngaahi ongo fakaelotó maʻau—ʻokú ne ʻi aí ke puleʻi ʻenau ngaahi takitaha ongo fakaelotó ʻi ho tafaʻakí.

Ko e taha ʻo e ngaahi moʻoni fakatauʻatāina taha fekauʻaki mo e nofo-malí ko hono ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻikai ke puleʻi hotau lotó ʻe he ngaahi lea pe tōʻonga hotau malí. ʻI hono fakalea ʻe tahá, te tau lava ʻo ngāue kae ʻikai fakamālohiʻi ke ngāue (vakai, 2 Nīfai 2:26; Tokāteline mo e Ngaahi Fuakava 58:27–28). ʻOku tau maʻu ʻa e mālohi ki he anga ʻo ʻetau fakakaukaú, pea mo e ongo te tau maʻu ʻi heʻetau nofo-malí.

ʻI he taimi ʻoku ʻikai lava ai hoku husepānití ʻo ʻave ʻa e vevé, te u lava ʻo fili ke u tui ko hono ʻuhingá he ʻoku ʻikai ke ne houngaʻia ʻiate au. Hili kotoa iá, ʻokú ne ʻiloʻi ʻoku ou fehiʻa ʻi he taimi ʻoku fuʻu fonu ai e veve ʻi peitó.

Ka ko e hā e ola ʻo e fakakaukau ko iá? ʻOku ʻikai ke u ongoʻi lelei. Pea mahalo ʻokú ne ʻai au ke u ongoʻi ʻokú ma māvahevahe. Fēfē nai kapau, ko ʻeku fakakaukaú naʻe ngalo pē ia ʻiate ia? Pe ʻe toe lelei angé, fēfē nai kapau te u fili ke u tui ʻoku ʻikai ha kaunga ʻo ʻene taʻemalava ke ʻave ʻa e vevé ki heʻene houngaʻia ʻiate aú? Mahalo ne ʻikai tokanga ia ki he vevé, pea ko e ʻuhinga ne ngalo ai ke ne ʻave ia ki tuʻa. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke u saiʻia ai, tā ko e tokotaha lelei taha au ki he ngāué!

Mahalo he ʻikai faingofua ke liliu hoʻo ngaahi fakakaukaú ke liliu hoʻo aʻusia ʻi hoʻo nofo-malí, ka ʻoku ʻaonga moʻoni ia. Pea ʻoku faingofua ange ia ʻi he feinga ke liliu e ʻulungaanga ho malí!

Ko e nofo-malí ko ha fononga ia ʻo e tupulaki.

ʻE ʻi ai maʻu pē e ngaahi lelei mo e ngaahi pole ʻo e nofo-malí, ka ʻe lava ke hoko e hala fononga ʻi he ngaahi lelei mo e ngaahi pole ko iá ko ha meʻa fakafiefia mo fakaofo ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau manatuʻi ai ko e nofo-malí ko ha faingamālie ia ke tupulaki. Ko e moʻuí ni ko ha taimi ia ke teuteu ai ke hoko ʻo hangē ko ʻetau mātuʻa fakalangí, pea ʻoku tokoni ʻa e nofo-malí ke tau fakahoko ia!

Naʻe akonaki ʻa Palesiteni Lāsolo M. Nalesoni ʻo pehē: “ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ke tau loto foʻi ʻo kapau ʻoku ngali fakahela mo ʻikai toe ʻosi ʻetau feinga mālohi ki he haohaoá. ʻOku kei fakatatali ʻa e haohaoá. ʻE lava ke toki hoko kakato mai ia ʻi he hili pē ʻa e Toetuʻú pea ʻi he ʻEikí pē.”5

ʻOku ou houngaʻia koeʻuhí ko e mālohi ʻo e Fakalelei ʻa Sīsū Kalaisí, ʻa ia ʻoku malava ai ke tupulaki ʻeku nofo-malí pea mo fiefia ange ʻi he fakaʻau atu ʻa e taimí. Neongo ʻa e ngaahi vaivaí, ʻoku kei hokohoko atu pē ʻeku ngāue fakataha mo hoku husepānití, pea ʻoku taʻengata ʻeku houngaʻiá koeʻuhí ko ha Fakamoʻui ʻokú Ne lava ʻo tokoniʻi kimaua ke ma hoko ʻo hangē ange ko Iá, pea ʻokú Ne lava ʻo ngaohi ʻema nofo-malí ke lava ʻo ui moʻoni ʻoku “fakasilesitiale.”

Maʻuʻanga Fakamatalá

  1. David A. Bednar, “The Divine Pattern of Eternal Marriage,” Ensign, Sept. 2020, 37.

  2. Jean B. Bingham, “Faaitaha ʻi hono Fakahoko e Ngāue ʻa e ʻOtuá,” Ensign pe Liahona, Mē 2020, 62.

  3. Henry B. Eyring, “Renaissance of Marriage: To Become as One” (ʻoku ʻoatu e tuʻasilá ʻi he The Complementarity of Man and Woman: An International Interreligious Colloquium, Vatican City, Rome, Nov. 18, 2014), ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

  4. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “ʻA e Ngaahi Fakaʻiseʻisá mo e Tukupaá,” Ensign pe Liahona, Nōvema 2012, 23.

  5. Russell M. Nelson, “Perfection Pending,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 88.

Paaki