Ko Hoku Halafonongá

Fakatokangaʻi ange: Ko ha aʻusia moʻoni eni ne vahevahe ʻe ha tokotaha ne hao moʻui mai mei he ngaohikoviá. Kuo liliu e ngaahi hingoá mo e fakamatala ʻe ʻiloʻi ai [e tokotahá ní].

Ne toutou ngaohikovia fakasekisuale au ʻe hoku kāinga ofi naʻá ne lahi ʻaki ha taʻu ʻe hongofulu ʻiate au ʻo kamata ʻi hoku taʻu 6 kae ʻoua kuó u taʻu 14 nai. Naʻá ku fuʻu vāofi ʻaupito mo hoku kāinga ofi ko ʻení mo hono fāmilí. Naʻá ku ʻi honau ʻapí maʻu pē. Naʻá ku ʻofeina kinautolu ʻo mahulu hake ʻi haʻaku fakamatalaʻi. Hangē ko ia ʻoku angamaheni ʻaki ʻi he ngaahi tūkunga ngaohikovia fakasekisuale ʻo e fānaú, naʻe ʻikai ke fuʻu mahino kakato ki hoku ʻatamai kei siʻí ʻa e nunuʻa ʻo e ngaohikoviá kae ʻoua kuó u aʻu ki ha taʻu ne mahino ai—ʻa ia ko hoku taʻu 16 nai ia. Naʻá ku tukulotoʻi ʻa e ngaohikoviá pea tukuakiʻi pē au kae ʻikai feinga ke mahino ʻoku ʻikai ko haku foʻui e ngaohikoviá, (ʻe anga fēfē ia … ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke ʻilo pe aʻusia ʻe ha kiʻi tamasiʻi taʻu 6 e meʻa ne akoʻi maí mo e meʻa ne fai mai kiate aú). Ne hulufau ʻeku ongoʻi halaia mo palakūʻia ʻiate au peé! Ko e founga pē naʻá ku lava ʻo fakaʻehiʻehi mei he fehiʻa pē ʻiate aú ko hano kumi ha founga ʻe lava ke u ongoʻi ai ʻoku ou mapuleʻi ʻeku moʻuí (neongo ne ʻikai pehē). ʻI heʻeku kei taʻu hongofulu tupú, ne ʻilonga moʻoni e “mapuleʻi” ko ʻení ʻi he palopalema maʻu meʻatokoní—ko ha palopalema ʻo e fakaʻauʻau sino ʻi he ʻikai ke te saiʻia ʻi he fōtunga hoto sinó (anorexia nervosa) pe ko e tōtuʻa e kaí ʻo lua fakataha mo e ongoʻi halaia pe loto-mafasia (bulimia).

Naʻá ku fakaʻauʻausino fakatuʻasino mo fakaeloto. Ne u “tōlalo ʻaupito” ‘i he mamafa ko e pāuni nai ʻe 100 pea ne mei aʻu ki he tuʻunga ne fie maʻu ai ke u tokoto falemahaki—ne kamata ke holo e tā hoku mafú mo e ngaahi ʻōkaní. Ko hono olá ko hono akoʻi pē au ʻi ʻapi ʻaki e tokoni ʻa ha kau faiako fie tokoni. Naʻe tokoni mai ʻeku toketā fakafaitoʻó ke u aʻu ki ha fua mamafa ʻoku moʻui lelei angé pea toe ʻave au ki ha mataotao fakaeʻatamai. Ko ha tangata lelei ia naʻe tokoni lahi mai kiate au! ʻI he lolotonga ʻema ngaahi fakataha talatalaifalé, naʻe kamata ke u fehangahangai mo e ngaohikovia ne hokó pea mo e ngaahi ongo ʻo e puputuʻú mo e mamahi ne kei ʻi hoku lotó. Naʻe kamata ʻeku fononga lōloa ki he fakaakeaké.

Hili ha ngaahi māhina siʻi, naʻá ku fakapapauʻi ʻe ʻikai toe fakapulipuliʻi ha meʻa ʻi homau lotoʻi fāmilí—ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke fūfuuʻi, tukunoaʻi, pe fakapulipuliʻi ha meʻa peheni taʻe fai ha ngāue ki ai. Naʻá ku manavasiʻi naʻa fai ʻe hoku kāinga ofí ha meʻa tatau ki he fanga kiʻi tamaiki tangata kehé peá u toe ʻiloʻi foki naʻe maʻu tangí ʻi he ponokalafi kau ki he fānaú. Naʻá ku ʻilo ʻa e kafo loloto ne fakatupu ʻe he ngaohikoviá ʻiate aú, pea naʻe ʻikai ke u loto ke toe hoko ia ki ha fanga kiʻi tamaiki tangata kehe he naʻe ʻikai ke u loto-toʻa ke tala e meʻa naʻe hokó. Ko ia naʻá ku lipooti ai ʻa e ngaohikoviá.

Meʻapangó, he naʻe fakatupu ʻe hono lipōtí ha ngaahi palopalema ʻi hoku fāmilí pea toe lahi ange ai ʻeku ongoʻi tauteá. ʻI he fuofua ongona pē kuo ngaohikovia fakasekisuale au ʻe hoku kāinga ofí, ne pehē ʻe he kau mēmipa ʻo e fāmilí ne ʻikai ke nau fie “kau ki ha tafaʻaki.” Ka neongo iá, ne ʻikai pē ke u teitei fakakaukau au ne ʻi ai ha “tafaʻaki” ke te fili. Naʻe ʻikai ke u fie maʻu ke fehiʻanekinaʻi pe fakamotumotu ha taha ki hoku kāinga ofí. Ko e meʻa pē naʻá ku fie maʻú ko hono tali e meʻa naʻe hokó ko ha meʻa fakalilifu ia ke u foua kei siʻi, pea ke fehangahangai hoku kāinga ofí mo e ngaahi nunuʻá pea haʻisia ki heʻene ngaahi filí—pea ʻi heʻene foua iá, ke ne maʻu e tokoni mo e poupou naʻá ne fie maʻú. Ka ko e ikuʻangá kiate au, ʻi he faleʻi mo e poupou ʻeku pīsopé, kuó u fakamolemoleʻi hoku kāinga ofí mo kinautolu ʻi hoku fāmilí ne ʻikai ke nau poupouʻi aú—ʻoku ʻikai ke toe hoko ia ko ha kavenga ke u fuesia. ʻOku ʻi ai ha Taha ʻoku lahi ange ia ʻiate au kuó Ne ʻosi totongi kae ʻoua te u toe fuesia ʻa e kavenga ko iá; ʻoku ou houngaʻia koeʻuhi ko hoku Fakamoʻuí.

Ki ha taha pē ne fakalaveaʻi, ʻoku ou kole atu ke ʻoua muʻa naʻá ke foʻi. ʻOua naʻa siva e ʻamanakí. ʻOua naʻa taʻofi hoʻo laka ki muʻá. ʻOku ʻikai hoko mai ʻa e fakamoʻuí he taimi pē ko iá. Mahalo he ‘ikai hoko mai ʻa e ongoʻi kakató ʻi he moʻui ko ʻení, ka koe halafononga ʻoku tau fouá ne ʻikai fakataumuʻa ia ke hangatonu mo tokalelei. ʻE ʻi ai maʻu pē ha ngaahi fakafeʻātungia mo e tafungofunga, tungotunga mo e luoluo, pikopiko mo e taafeafe. Ko hotau faingamālie ia ke fakataumuʻa ʻetau vakaí ki he taumuʻa taupotu tahá pea laka atu, ʻo tatau ai pē kapau ko ha manga pē ʻe taha he taimi (pea naʻa mo ha manga fakaholomui he taimi ʻe niʻihi). Neongo ne ʻosi hoku ngaohikoviá ʻi ha ngaahi taʻu lahi ʻi he kuohilí pea kuó u fononga mai ʻi he halanga lōloa ʻo e fakaakeaké, ʻoku ou faʻa kei ʻā hake pē ʻo manatuʻi e fakailifia ʻo hoku ngaohikoviá .

ʻOku ngaohi nai au ʻe he meʻá ni ke u mafesifesi ai ʻo taʻengata? ʻIkai. Mahalo ʻe kei ʻi ai pē ha ngaahi fakaʻilonga mei he ngaahi matakafo ʻo e kuohilí, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke nau fakamatalaʻi au. Kafo? ʻIo. Mafesifesi? ʻIkai. ʻI heʻeku hoko ko ha taha lahi peá u fakaakeake ʻi ha konga lahí, kuó u ako ke fakafiemālieʻi e tokotaha kei siʻi ʻoku kei moʻui ʻi hoku lotó. ʻOku ou tulemohe hili e ngaahi misi fakailifiá mo e ngaahi lea fakafiemālie ʻoku ongo mai ki he fakakaukau ʻa ha kiʻi tamasiʻi ilifia: “Oku ʻikai ko ho foʻui. ʻOku ʻikai ke tukuakiʻi koe. ʻOua te ke fuesia ʻa e mafatukituki ʻo e mamahí ni.” ʻOku ou tui ʻe fakalotolahiʻi ʻe he ngaahi leá ni ha taha pē ne fakalaveaʻi, ke manatuʻi ʻoku ʻikai ko ho foʻui! ʻOku ʻofeina koe. ʻOku ʻikai ke ke mafesifesi. ʻE fakamoʻui ʻa e kafo kotoa pē pea ʻe fakatonutonu e ngaahi fehalaākí ʻi he fakalau ʻa e taimí koeʻuhi ko “ia ʻokú ne māfimafi ke fakamoʻuí” (2 Nīfai 31:19).

Kapau kuo ngaohikovia koe pe ko ha taha ʻokú ke ʻilo, kumi tokoni he vave tahá mei he kau maʻu mafai fakapuleʻangá, ngaahi vaʻa maluʻi e fānaú, pe ngaahi vaʻa maluʻi e kakai lalahí. Te ke lava foki ʻo kumi tokoni meí ha taukapo ʻo kinautolu ne ngaohikovia pe ko ha faifaleʻi pe faitoʻo fakapalōfesinale. ʻE lava e ngaahi tokoni ko ʻení ʻo tokoni ke maluʻi koe mo taʻofi ha ngaohikovia lahi ange. Vakai ki he peesi “ ʻI ha Tuʻunga Fakatuʻutāmaki” ki ha fakamatala lahi ange.