Fili ke Moʻuí: Ko Hono Ikunaʻi e Fakakaukau ke Taonakitá
Naʻe tokoniʻi au ʻe he Maama ʻo Māmaní ke u ikunaʻi e ngaahi taimi faingataʻa ʻo ʻeku ongoʻi loto-mafasia fakataimí.
Faitaaʻi ʻe he © iStock/Thinkstock
Naʻe kamata ʻeku fāinga mo e fakakaukau taonakitá hili ha taimi nounou pē ʻeku hiki ki ha kolo momoko ʻi ʻAisileni, ʻa ia naʻe fakatupu ai ʻe he siʻi e laʻā ʻi he faʻahitaʻu momokó ʻa e mahaki ʻāvanga femaleleakí (SAD). ʻI he fakaʻau ke ʻikai ke u kei lava ʻo kātakiʻi e mamahí, naʻá ku fakakaukau ke u taonakita.
Lolotonga e taʻu ʻuluakí, naʻe ʻikai ke u tali naʻá ku moʻua ʻi he loto-mafasiá. Naʻá ku ilifia ke tala ki ha taha ʻeku ngaahi fakakaukaú, ʻo aʻu pē ki hoku husepānití. Naʻe ʻikai ʻilo ʻe ha taha ʻi hoku fāmilí pe ʻi he lotú naʻá ku puke ʻi ha mahaki ʻoku fakatupu fakatuʻutāmaki ki he moʻuí; naʻa nau pehē pē ko ha mēmipa mālohi au he Siasí ʻokú ne maʻu ha fakamoʻoni fakamātoato ʻo ʻikai aʻusia ha faingataʻa fēfē. Naʻá ku lotu maʻu pē, ʻo kole ha tokoni, pea naʻe fakamālohia au ʻe he Tamai Hēvaní. Naʻá ku toe tokanga ange ke u maʻu e meʻatokoni fakatupu moʻui leleí, fakamālohisino maʻu pē, lau fakamaatoato e folofolá, tokoni ki he niʻihi kehé, mo tauhi kotoa e ngaahi fekaú. Ka naʻe ʻikai pē ke feʻunga ia.
Ne ʻākilotoa au ʻe he loto-mafasiá ʻo hangē ha nauá. Ko ia ne u ngāue mālohi ange mo lotu ʻo lahi ange, ka naʻe ʻikai pē lava ke u hola mei he ongoʻi loto-mafasiá. Naʻá ku feinga ke kātakiʻi e ongoʻi mafasiá, mo lotua ke u moʻui pē kae ʻoua kuo foki mai e fānaú mei he akó pe aʻu ki he hoʻataá. Ko e ngaahi ʻaho ʻe niʻihi naʻá ku fefaʻuhi ai ke u aʻu moʻui pē ā ki he miniti hokó, ʻo loto-lahi pē ke ikunaʻi ʻeku ngaahi fakakaukaú mo e fakalotoʻí.
ʻOku ou manatuʻi e hulu fau e faingataʻaʻia fakaʻatamai ne u ongoʻí ʻi he fuofua taimi ne u meimei taonakita aí. Naʻe ʻikai ke u tomuʻa palaniʻi pe fakakaukauʻi ia—ne mole fakataimi meiate au ʻeku malava ko ia ke fakakaukau leleí. Ne u toki fakatokangaʻi kimui ange ʻeku meimei toʻo ʻeku moʻuí. Naʻá ku fifili pe ko e hā e meʻa naʻe fehalaaki ʻiate aú. Naʻá ku pehē loto pē ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke u fakakaukau taonakita, pea naʻá ku fakaʻalingalelei pē naʻe teʻeki hoko ha meʻa pehē. Naʻá ku fakapapau ai pē kiate au he ʻikai ke u toe fai ha fakakaukau pehē.
Ka naʻe taʻeʻamanekina ʻeku toutou maʻu e ngaahi fakakaukau taonakitá. Naʻe mālohi fau ʻa e ʻahiʻahí ke fakangata ʻeku felāngaaki ne tōtuʻá. Ka naʻá ku fie maʻu ke fakamoʻui au. Neongo naʻe ʻikai ke mahino kiate au ʻoku ou puke ʻi ha mahaki faingataʻa (ko ha mahaki ʻoku fakamātoato mo fakafokifā), naʻá ku ʻiloʻi ʻe lava pē ke fakamoʻui au. Ko ia ne u kole leva ha tāpuaki ʻo e lakanga fakataulaʻeikí.
Naʻe ʻikai laveʻiloa ʻe hoku husepānití ki hoku ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá, ka naʻá ne lea ʻaki e ngaahi meʻa lahi ʻi he tāpuakí naʻe fakahā mai ai naʻe ʻafioʻi au ʻe he Tamai Hēvaní. Naʻá ne palōmesi mai te u lava pē ʻo ikunaʻi ʻeku ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá. Neongo naʻe ʻikai ke fakamoʻui au he taimi pē ko iá, ka naʻá ku ʻiloʻi pē ʻe faitokonia ʻe he Tamai Hēvaní ke u ikunaʻi ʻeku faingataʻaʻiá.
Naʻe aʻu ki he faʻahitaʻu māfaná, naʻe laʻalaʻā peá u ongoʻi fiemālie ange. Naʻe ʻikai ke u teitei ongoʻi ha mamahi, ʻo aʻu pē ki he poʻulí. Naʻá ku fiefia peá u toe maʻu pē ongo angamaheni ne u maʻu kimuʻá. Ka ʻi he fakaʻau ke aʻu vave ki he ngaahi ʻaho nounou ʻo Sepitemá, naʻe toe foki mai ʻeku ongoʻi loto-mafasiá pea naʻe fehuufi fakapulipuli e fakakaukau taonakitá ʻi hoku ʻatamaí. Naʻá ku manavahē. Naʻá ku tomuʻa feinga ke fai e meʻa ne u fai ʻi he taʻu kimuʻá: lotu ʻo lahi ange, fakamālohisino ʻo lahi ange, pea feinga mālohi ange ʻi he meʻa kotoa pē. Ka naʻe fakaʻau ke mālohi mo vivili ange ʻa e fakaʻaiʻai ke u taonakitá. Naʻá ku fekuki faingataʻa ʻi ha māhina ʻe ua pea faifai peá u toki ʻiloʻi he ʻikai ke u kei lavaʻi ha toe faʻahitaʻu momoko ʻiate au pē. Ne u ʻiloʻi kuo tāpuekina kitautolu ʻe he Tamai Hēvaní ʻaki e ngaahi faitoʻo mo e kau toketā fakaonopooni. Ke u fakaakeaké, naʻe fie maʻu ke u loto-fiemālie ke talanoa ki he niʻihi kehé kau ki hoku loto-mafasiá pea talatala ia ki ha toketā.
Ko e meʻa faingataʻa taha kuó u faí ko e kole ha tokoni. Ne ʻikai ke u faʻa lava ʻo lea heʻeku tangí ʻi he taimi naʻá ku talaange ai ki hoku husepānití ʻoku ou loto mafasiá pea ʻoku ou fie maʻu ha tokoní. Naʻe ʻikai ke u lava ʻo puʻaki leʻolahi e foʻi lea taonakita. Naʻe aleaʻi ʻe hoku husepānití ha faingamālie ke u sio ai ki ha toketā mataotao ki he ʻatamaí.
Naʻe ʻomai heʻeku toketaá ha faitoʻo, ʻa ia naʻe tokoni ke u lavaʻi e faʻahitaʻu momokó. Hangē pē ko e niʻihi tokolahi, ne u fekuki ke ʻilo e fua totonu ʻo e faitoʻó peá u fefaʻuhi mo hono ngaahi nunuʻá. Naʻe hoko ʻeni ke toe lahi ange e mafasia ʻeku nofomalí mo hoku fāmilí, ka naʻe poupouʻi au heʻeku fānaú mo hoku husepānití.
Ko e taimi naʻe hoko ai e faʻahitaʻu failaú, naʻe mole atu ʻeku loto-mafasiá, pea ʻikai ke u toe fakaʻaongaʻi e faitoʻó. Ne mau hiki ki ha kolo ʻoku laʻalaʻā angé. Ne u pehē kuo lelei e meʻa kotoa pea ʻe ʻikai ke u to e mahamahaki. Ka naʻe ‘ikai ke u moʻui lelei kakato. Naʻe ake hake e ongoʻi halaiá ʻi heʻeku ngaahi fakakaukaú, ongó mo e vivili he kuohilí. Naʻá ku fehiʻa ʻi he ʻilo heʻeku fānau taʻu hongofulu tupú naʻá ku meimei taonakitá. Naʻá ku ongoʻi hangē kuo fuoloa ange he taʻu ʻe tahá ʻa e koto faingataʻa ʻeku moʻuí.
Naʻe ʻikai ngata aí naʻá ku ilifia foki—tautautefito ki he fakaʻau ke aʻu ki he ngaahi ʻaho nonou ʻo Sepitemá. Naʻá ku manatuʻi lelei ʻeku ngaahi ongo kimuʻá peá u manavahē naʻa faifaí kuó u toe moʻua ʻi he tōtuʻa ʻa e mamahí pe faingataʻaʻiá. Ka naʻá ku lava ʻo ʻiloʻi e tākiekina ʻe he ʻEikí ʻeku moʻuí ʻi he taimi naʻe ʻave ai au ki ha toketā lelei ke kamata hoku fakaakeaké. Ne u ʻilo ai ʻeku toe maʻu foki mo e kulukia-tamakí (PTSD). ʻI he fakahinohino ʻeku toketaá, naʻá ku fāinga ai mo e PTSD.
Pea naʻá ku aʻusia leva ha mana. Hili haʻaku lotu lahi mo e feinga ke moʻui ʻaki e Fakalelei ʻa e Fakamoʻuí, naʻe hā mahino hono faitokonia au ʻe he ʻEikí ʻo mole vave atu ʻeku ongoʻi halaiá. Naʻe ongo mai ʻEne folofolá ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke u ongoʻi halaia koeʻuhí ko ʻeku loto-mafasiá he ʻoku ʻikai ko haʻaku foʻui ia ʻoʻoku. ʻOku tuʻunga ʻi he mālohi ʻo ʻEne Fakaleleí ʻoku fuesia ai ʻe Sīsū Kalaisi e kavenga ko iá moʻokú. Ne u fonu ʻi he māmá peá u toe ongoʻi ʻa e ʻamanaki leleí.
ʻOku ʻikai ke u ʻilo e ʻuhinga naʻe pau ai ke u aʻusia e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻo e mahaki fakatuʻutāmakí ni. Neongo ʻoku ou kei manatu pē ki ai, ka kuo mole atu e mafasia fakaʻatamaí mo e mamahi fakaesinó. ʻOku ou houngaʻia ʻi he ʻaho kotoa pē koeʻuhí ko hoku fāmilí, ko ʻeku toketaá, mo ʻeku moʻui ʻi he māmaní. Kuó u maʻu e manavaʻofa mo e ʻofa ki he niʻihi kehé, koeʻuhí ko ʻeku puké. Kuó u tupulaki fakaeloto mo fakalaumālie peá u ʻiloʻi ne ʻikai ha toe founga ke u ako ai. Ne u aʻusia ha ngaahi momeniti mahuʻinga mo fakalaumālie mo ʻeku Tamai Hēvaní mo e Fakamoʻuí. Kuo fakalotolahiʻi au heʻeku ngaahi aʻusiá ke u talia ʻa e moʻuí.