Ngaahi Maʻuʻanga Tokoni Faifaleʻí

Ko e hā ʻoku fie maʻu ke fakamahino kiate au fekauʻaki mo e lahi ʻo e fakaʻaongaʻi e ponokalafí?

ʻOku lahi ha ngaahi meʻa ʻi hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e ponokalafí, pea ʻe kehekehe ʻa e founga ʻo e fakatomalá ki he mēmipa takitaha. Fanongo ki he kau mēmipa ʻenau fakahaaʻi e feituʻu ʻoku, kau ai ‘enau fakakaukau (kuo ʻiloʻi kinautolu pe ʻoku nau feinga ke liliu?), lahi hono fakaʻaongaʻi, pea mo e meʻa ‘oku nau holi ki ai ʻi he ʻunu ki muʻá.

Kamata ‘aki hono fakahaaʻi ‘a e ʻofa mo e loto hounga‘ia ki he fakafo‘ituitui ʻi heʻenau loto-toʻa ke omi ʻo kumi tokoní. Feinga ke tokoni‘i kinautolu ke mahino ʻoku ‘i ai ʻa e ‘amanaki lelei. Te nau lava ‘o fakamatalaʻi ai e tūkunga ko ‘ení pea hoko atu ko e kau ākonga ʻa Sīsū Kalaisi. Fakapapau‘i ange kiate kinautolu honau tuʻunga fakalangí ko e fānau kinautolu ‘a e ʻOtuá. ‘Oku malava ʻe he ongo‘i kuo fakamālohia kinautolu ʻe heʻenau ʻiloʻi honau tuʻunga totonú ke nau hao ai mei he ongoʻi fakamāʻiá pea nau fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e tuʻunga ko ʻení ki heʻenau tupulaki fakatāutahá mo e liliú.

ʻOku maʻu ʻe he kau pīsopé ha falala toputapu ke tokoniʻi e kāingalotú ʻi heʻenau founga fakatomalá. Ko ha fakamaau ki ‘Isileli, ʻoku nau ngāue ʻi he ueʻi ʻa e Laumālié ke tokoniʻi ʻa e kāingalotú ke mahino ko honau fatongia ia mo e faingamālie ke fekumi ki ha fakahā fakatāutaha mo maʻu ʻa e ngaahi tali ʻoku fie maʻu ke ikunaʻi ʻaki honau ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá.

‘Oku totonu ke tokanga taha ʻa e kau takí ke fakamālohia ʻa e tuʻunga fakaākonga mo e tui ʻa e kāingalotú ʻaki hono akoʻi “ʻI hoʻo hoko ko e taki ‘i he Siasi ʻo Sīsū Kalaisí, te ke poupou‘i ai ʻa e fakafoʻituituí mo e ngaahi fāmilí ‘i hono fakahoko ʻa e ngāue ‘a e ʻOtuá ki he fakamoʻuí mo e hakeakiʻí” (Tohi Tuʻutuʻuni Fakakātoa: Ko e Ngāue ʻi he Siasi ʻo Sīsū Kalaisi ʻo e Ngaahi ʻAho Kimui Ní [2020], 2.0). (Vakai, “Ko e hā ha ngaahi tokāteline ʻoku nau tokoniʻi ʻa e fakafoʻituituí ke nau ikunaʻi ʻa e ngaahi palopalema ʻo e ponokalafí?”)

Kau ki hono Fakafuofua‘í

Neongo ʻoku ʻikai fie maʻu ha fakatonutonu faka-Siasi ʻi he fakatomala ki hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e ponokalafí, ʻiate ia peé, kae manatu ʻoku “fakahalaiaʻi ʻe he Siasí ʻa e ponokalafí ʻi ha faʻahinga founga pē. ʻOku hanga ʻe ha faʻahinga fakaʻaongaʻi pē ʻo e ponokalafí ʻo maumauʻi e moʻuí fakafoʻituitui, ngaahi fāmilí, mo e sōsaietí. ‘Okú ne tuli foki ʻa e Laumālie ʻo e ʻEikí” (Tohi Tu‘utuʻuni Fakakātoa, 38.6.13). Ko hoʻo taumuʻá ke tokoniʻi e fakafoʻituitui ke faifai pea nau aʻusia ha “fuʻu liliu lahi ʻo e lotó” (vakai, ʻAlamā 5:12–14) pea tali kakato lahi ange ʻa e fatongia ʻo Sīsū Kalaisí ʻi heʻenau moʻuí, tautautefito ki he mālohi ʻo ʻEne Fakaleleí. ‘E tupulaki honau tu‘unga fakaākongá ʻi heʻenau ʻilo Hono mālohí ʻi heʻenau moʻuí ʻo fakafou ʻi ha founga ʻo e liliu ʻa ia ʻoku fie maʻu ʻEne tatakí mo e mālohi fakaiviá.

ʻI hoʻo fakalotolahiʻi ʻa e fakafoʻituituí ke mahino ko ʻenau fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e ponokalafí ko ha meʻa ia ʻoku lahi ange ʻi ha fakaʻilonga pē ʻo e vaivai fakaeangamaʻá, pea te nau fakapapauʻi ʻa e meʻá, kapau ʻoku ʻi ai, ha ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni lahi ange ʻoku nau fie maʻu. Hangē ko ‘ení, ʻoku ʻi ai ha ngaahi moʻoniʻi meʻa ʻi hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e ponokalafí (hangē ko e fakaesino, faka‘atamai, fakasōsiale, mo fakalaumālie). ʻE makatuʻunga ʻa e ngaahi maʻuʻanga tokoni ʻoku fie maʻú ʻi he mamafa ʻo e tōʻonga ʻa e fakafoʻituituí pea mo e founga ʻokú ne fakahoko ki he palopalemá.

Fakakaukau ki he ngaahi meʻá ni ʻi hoʻo feinga ke tokoniʻi ʻa e kau mēmipá mo honau ngaahi malí ke mahino kiate kinautolu ʻa hono lahi ʻo ʻenau kau ʻi he ponokalafí pea mo ʻene uesia ʻenau moʻuí.

Fatongia Fakatāutahá

Feinga ke tokoni‘i ʻa e kāingalotú ke nau fatongia fakatāutaha ʻaki e kau ʻi he ngaahi filí mo e ngaahi liliu ʻoku tuʻunuku maí. ʻOua naʻa ngalo ʻa e foʻi moʻoni ko ia ko e ngaahi fili fekauʻaki mo e kahaʻú ko e fatongia ia ʻo e tokotaha ʻoku faingataʻaʻiá pe ko hono malí. Ko ho fatongiá ko e tokoni‘i mo poupouʻi kinautolu ‘i heʻenau fekumi ki ha fakahaá.

Fifili ki he Ponokalafí

ʻI hoʻo fai ha ngaahi fehuʻi fakalaumālié, te ke lava ʻo tokoniʻi ʻa kinautolu naʻe kau aí (niʻihi fakafoʻituitui; mātuʻá, ‘i he tuʻunga ‘o e toʻu tupú; mo e ngaahi malí) feinga ke ʻiloʻi kapau ‘oku nau fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e ponokalafí ʻi he taimi ki he taimi, lahi ʻaupito, pe fakakounaʻi. ʻE lava ʻo tokoni ʻa e mahino ko ʻení kiate koe ke ke lava ʻo tokoniʻi kinautolu ʻo fakafou ʻi he founga ʻo e fakatomalá ʻo hangē pē ko hono ʻiloʻi ʻa e founga ke tokoni ai ki he malí pe mātuʻá. Fai foki ha ngaahi fehuʻi ki he natula ʻo e ponokalafi naʻe fakaʻaongaʻí—‘e lava ke kehekehe hono lahí pea lava foki ke fakafehokotaki ki he ngaahi ʻulungaanga kehe.

Tokanga ‘i hono fakahingoa e niʻihi fakafoʻituituí ko e kau maʻunimaá; ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke pehē ko e tokolahi ʻo e kakai ʻoku nau fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e ngaahi naunau ki he ponokalafí ko e kau maʻunimā, tautautefito ki he toʻu tupú. ʻE lava ke fakavaivaiʻi kinautolu ʻe heʻenau feinga ke liliú ʻi hono fakahingoa kinautolu ko e kau maʻunimā ʻo e ponokalafí. Ki ha fakamatala lahiange ʻi he meʻá ni, vakai, Dallin H. Oaks, “Recovering from the Trap of Pornography,” Ensign, Oct. 2015, 32–38.

ʻOku Faʻa Lahi Ange ʻi he Vaivai Fakaeangamaʻá pē ʻa hono Fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e Ponokalafí

‘Oku faʻa faingataʻa ha kau ha fakafoʻituitui ʻi he ponokalafí, pea ʻoku mahuʻinga ke fakahā ko hono mamataʻi ʻo e ponokalafí ʻoku meimei ke lolotoange ia ʻi ha ongo fakasekisuale. ʻI ha ngaahi meʻa lahi, ʻoku fekauʻaki hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e ponokalafí mo e ngaahi faingataʻa fakanatula, fakaʻatamai, fakasōsiale mo fakalaumālie pea ʻoku kehekehe ki he tokotaha kotoa pē.

ʻE ala fakavaivaiʻi e fakafoʻituitui pea faingataʻa kiate kinautolu ke taʻofi hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e ponokalafí ʻe ha taha ʻo e ngaahi faingataʻa ko ʻení pe ko e kotoa ʻo e ngaahi ʻēlia ʻe faá. ʻI heʻenau feinga ke mahino kiate kinautolu ʻa e faingataʻa ʻo ʻenau ngaahi palopalema he ponokalafí, te nau ala kamata ke ʻiloʻi ʻa e ngaahi ivi tākiekina kehe ʻoku nau uesia kinautolú. Neongo ‘oku mahuʻinga ʻa e mālohinga fakalaumālié, ka ʻoku faʻa tokoni ki he fakafoʻituituí ke fakamatalaʻi ʻa e ngaahi tafaʻaki fakaesino, fakaʻatamai, mo fakasōsiale ʻo ʻenau moʻuí foki. Fakalotolahiʻi e fakafoʻituituí ke vakaiʻi ʻa e ngaahi tafaʻaki ko ʻení mo honau ivi tākiekiná. ʻE lava ke takiakiʻi kinautolu heni ki ha lavameʻa lahi ange ʻi hono taʻofi ʻenau fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e ponokalafí.

Ko e Ngaahi Me‘a ʻe Fā ke Fakakaukauʻí

ʻE ala tokoni ʻa e ngaahi fakaʻilonga ʻe faá ke fakafuofuaʻi ʻe he kāingalotú ʻa e lahi ʻo ʻenau kau ʻi hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e ponokalafí: tuʻo lahí, lōloa ʻo e taimí, hono mālohí, mo e fakatuʻutāmakí. ʻE ala tokoni kiate koe ha mahino ʻa e ngaahi fakaʻilongá, fakafoʻituituí, mo kinautolu ʻoku ofi kiate kinautolu ʻoku nau fakatokangaʻí ʻa e fihi ʻo honau ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá.

Tuʻo Lahí

ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻa e Tuʻo Lahí ki he vahavaha ʻo hono fakahoko ʻe he tokotahá ʻa e ʻulungaanga ko ʻení. ‘Oku fakahaaʻi ‘e he kiʻi mamataʻi tōtō holo ʻo e ponokalafí ha palopalema siʻisiʻi ange, neongo ʻoku kei mahino ʻa e taʻe-taau ʻo e ʻulungaangá ni. Ko e lahi ange hono toutou mamataʻi ʻe he fakafo‘ituituí ʻa e ponokalafí, ko e mamafa ange ia ʻa e palopalemá.

Fuoloá

ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻa e Fuoloá ki he vahaʻa taimi ne fakahoko ai ʻe he tokotahá ʻa e ʻulungaanga ko ʻení. Kapau ne ʻikai lava ʻe ha taha ʻo taʻofi ʻene mamataʻi ʻa e ponokalafí ʻi ha lau taʻu, ʻe fuʻu faingataʻa lahi ange kiate ia ke ne ikunaʻi ʻa e ʻulungaanga ko iá kae faingofua ange kapau naʻá ne fakaʻaongaʻi pē ʻi ha vahaʻataimi nounou.

Mamafá

ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻa e Mamafá ki he natula ʻo e naunau ponokalafi kuo mamataʻí. Neongo ʻoku taʻefeʻunga ʻa e ngaahi ʻīmisi mo e naunau ponokalafi kotoa pē, ka ʻoku ʻi ai e ngaahi naunau ʻe niʻihi ʻoku mamafa ange ʻa ʻenau taʻefeʻungá. ‘I hoʻo ako fekauʻaki mo ha palopalema ʻa ha mēmipa, ʻoku mahuʻinga ke fakatokangaʻi ʻa e faʻahinga ʻo e ponokalafi kuó ne mamataʻí.

Hangē ko ʻení, ʻoku mamafa ange mo fakalielia ange ʻa e ngaahi faiva ʻi he mītiá ʻoku fahoko ai ʻa e ngaahi feohi fakasekisualé ʻi ha ngaahi laʻitā ʻo ha niʻihi fakafoʻituitui ʻoku nau tui ha kiʻi vala siʻisiʻi pē pe telefua. ‘Oku lahi ha ngaahi naunau fakaponokalafi ʻoku ʻasi ai e fakamālohí pe kau ai ʻa e fānaú. Kapau ʻokú ke ʻilo hano mamataʻi, fakatau, pe tufaki e ponokalafi ʻo e fānaú, fetuʻutaki ki he kau maʻu mafai fakapuleʻangá. ʻOku ʻi ai foki ha laine tokoni ʻa e pīsopé ki hono tokangaʻi ʻo e palopalema ko ʻení.

ʻAhiahiʻi-Pe-ʻe-Fēfē

ʻOku fakahehema e ngaahi ʻahiʻahiʻi-pē-ʻe fēfeé pe ngaahi tōʻonga ʻoku fekauʻaki mo e ponokalafí ko ha fakaʻilonga ia ʻe taha ʻo e mamafa pe lahi ʻo e faingataʻá. Ko e lahi ange ʻa e loto fiemālie ʻa e fakafoʻituituí ke ʻahiʻahiʻi-pē-ʻe fēfeé ke sio ponokalafí, ko e faingataʻa lahi ange ia kiate ia ke ne taʻofi hono fakaʻaongaʻí. ʻE kau ʻi he ngaahi ʻekitivitī ʻahiʻahiʻi-pē-ʻe fēfeé ʻa e liʻaki akó, ngāué, mo ha ngaah tukupā kehe; femoʻuekina he ngaahi ʻulungaanga taʻe-fakalaó, fakapulipuli pe taʻe-faitotonu; pe ko e ngaahi ngāue tatau mo ia. ʻE ala lava ke tataki ʻe he ʻulungaanga ʻahiʻahiʻi-pē-ʻe fēfeé ʻi he kakai lalahí ki he mole ʻa e ngāué, vete malí maumau ki he fāmilí, pe ngāue ikai fakalaó.