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Improving Conversation Skills

Improving Conversation Skills

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youth talking

Purpose

Learn skills for enjoyable and meaningful conversations with others. These skills will help you connect with people at home, church, school, work, and in other situations.

Description

Invite two adults or older youth to model a short conversation (two to three minutes) with poor skills like the following:

  1. Lack of eye contact

  2. Interrupting

  3. Saying too much or too little (dominating or not participating)

  4. Not paying attention to the other person (for example, checking a mobile device while the other person is talking)

  5. Being negative or critical

Invite participants to list the problems they saw in the conversation and give advice on how to correct them.

Then have the same two individuals model an effective conversation demonstrating skills like the following:

  1. Looking at the other person

  2. Listening respectfully without interrupting

  3. Asking questions to get the other person talking

  4. Being positive

  5. Keeping a good balance in which both individuals have a chance to contribute

Consider inviting participants to compare and contrast the effectiveness of the two conversations. Then have them divide into pairs and practice their conversation skills with each other.

More Ideas

  • Learn to listen—Before the activity, write down some questions that cannot be answered yes or no. For example:

    • What was the best thing that happened to you today?

    • What did you learn at school today?

    • What was the most enjoyable thing you did this week?

    • What games do you like to play?

  • For the activity, invite participants to sit in a circle. Ask a participant the first question. Then have the second participant paraphrase what the first person said in a way that shows they listened and understood. Next, ask the second participant a question and let the third participant paraphrase. Continue around the circle until everyone has had a turn.

  • Speed friending—Invite participants to sit in two rows facing each other. Introduce a discussion topic, and organize your group to be seated across from each other to have a conversation about it. Change topics every minute or two, and with each topic change, invite one row of participants to shift so that everyone has a new discussion partner. Topics could include favorite hobbies, family traditions, goals for the future, creative dating ideas, and qualities appreciated in the opposite sex.

  • 20 questions—Practice asking direct questions and listening to responses. Have one participant think of a person, place, or thing that everyone else has to guess. The group then may ask 20 questions to help them identify what the participant is thinking of. You can make the game more challenging by banning the words yes and no so that the person answering the questions needs to think of other ways to respond.

  • Advanced conversation skills—Once participants are comfortable with basic skills, teach them more advanced skills, such as reflective listening, disagreeing in a respectful way, diffusing conflict, and so forth. After you teach each skill, have participants practice the skill with other group members. You could even invite participants to demonstrate these skills for the group.

Discussion

Encourage participants to talk about what they are learning. Discussions can take place before, during, or after the activity. You could ask questions like the following:

  • Why do you think it is important to be able to converse with others?

  • When have you experienced the blessings of meaningful conversation with others?

  • What feelings or impressions do you have about conversation skills?

  • How can you apply what you are learning in your life?

Related Resources

Sabbath Day Lessons

Other

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